Never Leave You Behind
by MsViolet85
Summary: Alex hasn't had an easy life, but for a while things start to look up. Then she discovers the lengths she'll go to to protect her little sister and mum. Just when she's not sure how much more she can take, she meets Piper. Does Alex know how to let Piper in? Or will it all become too hard for her...
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 – first meeting

Alex stood in the bathroom, trying to be as quiet as possible. She needed to get herself together before she started her waitressing shift at Orange Café. In the last few months of her 19 years on this earth, she went through the same ritual many times, but it just kept getting harder. She peeled off her black t-shirt and pyjama shorts before getting in the shower. The purple marks on her stomach were already starting to show, but at least there was no blood this time. She just needed a moment to pull herself together before going to work. She let the warm water run over her tired shoulders, wincing slightly at the pain in her stomach. She needed to keep it together for her mum and little sister Lucy, it was the only way she could protect them.

She got out of the shower and slowly got dressed in her uniform, heading out earlier than usual to make sure she didn't miss her bus. Just before she reached the front door of the small apartment she shared with her mum and Lucy, she felt a rough hand on her shoulder "have a good shift Alex, don't forget to keep your mouth shut". Robbie would never miss the opportunity to try and intimidate Alex, but the truth was that she didn't care what he did to her, she just needed to make sure he never touched Lucy.

Her mum, Diane, had always worked so hard to provide for Lucy and Alex, working multiple jobs to keep a roof over their heads. Life had always been so hard for Diane, and Alex was really happy when Diane finally met a nice guy in Robbie. Diane had met Robbie at the diner where she worked one night, and they really hit it off. At first, Robbie was nothing but kind to Alex and Lucy, and after 6 months he moved in with them and helped Diane with the bills. This meant that Diane could finally just work shifts at the one job, giving her more time at home with her daughters, especially Lucy who was only 10 years old. Lucy was absolutely ecstatic when Diane told her she would be home more and do all the usual things like take her to school and watch movies together. But slowly, in the last 3 months, Alex saw a dark change in Robbie. He always told her how beautiful she was, just like her mum, but Alex never thought much of it. Quite frankly Alex spent most of her time with her best friend Nicky, so she wasn't at home that much. She snuck home late one night, having been out smoking pot with Nicky, talking about girls and how they wanted to travel the world one day. Eventually, around 3 am, Alex stumbled through the front door and woke up a drunken Robbie from his stupor on the couch. He stumbled towards her, slamming her against the closed front door "What the fuck do you think you're doing! You're getting too fucking cocky for your own good lately. Your mum told you to be home hours ago, she might be stupid enough to buy your excuses, but I'm not". For a moment Alex couldn't quite comprehend what was happening, her and Nicky had gotten themselves insanely high over the past few hours and her head was spinning. Before she knew it, she felt Robbie's hand slide under her shirt, grabbing at her breasts. "You've always been beautiful Alex, maybe it's about time you start being nicer to me. Keep me occupied before Lucy gets older." Survival instinct kicked in and she tried to push him away, causing him to heave his knee into her mid-section. She fell to the ground unable to breathe, unable to process what just happened…..

Alex quickly shook the memory from her mind before pushing past Robbie and running out towards the bus stop. She blinked back the tears and just focussed on getting to work. "Hold it together Vause" she told herself. She so desperately wanted to tell Diane what was happening, but it wasn't that simple. She was sure Robbie would never hit Diane, and the fact that Diane didn't have to work so much anymore made her so happy. Right now she would do everything in her power to protect her family, she would figure out a solution later.

Alex was exhausted after her shift, which finished around 10pm. She slowly walked towards her apartment block, noticing a young blonde woman, not much older than Alex, hastily shoving boxes into the building lobby. Alex was taken aback by her piercing blue eyes and blonde hair. Something in her said "don't let this opportunity pass you by".

"Hey, need a hand?" said Alex.

"That obvious I'm struggling with these boxes huh?" the woman smiled, and continued talking.

"Hi, I'm Piper, and yes some help would be great. I'm new to the building, proud new resident of 3B"

"Great to meet you Piper, I'm Alex. 3B, that's just a couple doors down from my place" Alex smiled broadly at Piper, thinking to herself, "This woman is gorgeous! Play the game Vause, get yourself into her apartment".

"How about I help you with those boxes, show some neighbourly hospitality" Alex smiled again at Piper, who looked relieved at the offer. Piper nodded her head, gesturing towards the boxes still in her car. In her enthusiasm, Alex bent over to grab a box and felt a sharp pain run through her abdomen and down her right leg. "Aghh, fuck" Alex clutched her stomach as she put the box back down. "Hey are you ok?" The blonde looked genuinely concerned. "How about a new deal, I'll finish with the boxes, and you go pick up the pizza I just ordered from Benny's around the corner?"

Alex felt the embarrassment rush to her face, but wanted to move on quickly. "Ok sure, work must have been harder on me than I thought!"

"Great, it's already paid for, so I'll see you back here soon". Alex smiled back at Piper and made her way towards Benny's. She didn't know what it was, but there was something about those blue eyes that just drew her in. All she knew was that she wanted to get to know Piper, and she had no desire to rush back to her apartment. Lucy was having a sleep over tonight, so Alex felt more relaxed about staying out.

"This could shape up to be an interesting night" thought Alex as she walked around the corner.

It was getting late, but Piper was so damn happy. She had finally escaped her parents house and was going to make it on her own. She was so sick of her mother trying to turn her into a yuppie housewife, and of her dad's complete apathy towards his family. She was desperate to get out on her own. She had just finished her Arts degree, and wanted to try her hand at writing. She got herself part time work at the local library, which gave her some extra cash and the time to write her book of short stories. She was 22 and wanted to try her hand at writing, she didn't want to look back in 20 years and regret not trying. Who knows how long this new found courage would last, it didn't really matter. So long as she could escape her parents, Piper was happy. She had money her grandmother had given her on the side to help subsidise rent. She figured if the writing thing didn't work out in 6-12 months, she'd need a plan B. She was scared, and prone to running away from her problems, but all she wanted right now was her own space.

Her best friend Polly helped her scope out potential apartments, until they found something in her budget. It wasn't much, but it had all she needed for the moment. When she came to view the apartment twice before, she kept seeing a young dark haired girl leaving the building. She was beautiful, but she always looked so sad. Piper didn't know why, but that young girl kept finding her way into Piper's mind. Why did she look so sad? She was gorgeous, she could have anyone she wanted.

Piper was finally moving in, and Polly had bailed on her as usual. Piper now found herself unloading boxes from her car late at night, desperate to just get into the apartment. She suddenly heard a voice from behind her, it was the dark haired girl, whose name she learned was Alex. She seemed kind, but there was still a sadness to her eyes. Piper was secretly ecstatic when Alex offered to help with the boxes, even though she was basically a stranger. "She doesn't even know me, but she's kind enough to offer a hand". Piper then noticed Alex clutching her side, "damn, guess I am moving these boxes on my own". But she didn't want the brunette to leave. So Piper suggested Alex go collect her takeaway and meet back at the apartment. As Alex walked away, Piper was lost in thought, "Am I insane? Oh well, I've got to at least try and make some new friends during this little independence experiment…..


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**

 **Hi folks,**

 **Many thanks for all the reviews, favs and follows. Now, for a little context. I've always been interested in what Alex would be like in her teenage years. It's a time when we're pretty vulnerable and working ourselves out. Alex is mostly portrayed as the strong one, so I wanted to explore her as the more vulnerable character, obviously still with the tough exterior. This is why I have made her younger than Piper in this AU fic. I also wanted to explore her protective side more, which is why I've incorporate Lucy into the story.**

 **This is the first time I've written anything in a very long time, so keen on all feedback.**

 **Cheers.**

Chapter 2 – an escape

Alex slowly makes her way up the stairs towards Piper's apartment, pizza and beer in hand. The front door to the apartment is slightly ajar, so Alex makes her way inside, "Hello, pizza delivery."

"Hey, that was quick, thanks for picking this up, I know it's getting late."

"No problem, I'm not usually one for early nights." Piper leads Alex into the lounge room, which is pretty bare aside from boxes and a blanket on the floor. "Sorry, looks like I'll be sitting on this blanket until I get around to buying some furniture."

"Reckon you'll get sick of sitting on the floor pretty quick," Alex says as she smirks at Piper. Both girls make themselves comfortable on the blanket. Alex opens two beers and hands one to Piper, "Cheers."

"Cheers," Piper smiles back.

"So Piper, what's your story?"

"Well, I don't think I have much of a story at the moment. I just finished college and was desperate to get out of my parent's house before they try and force any more potential husbands onto me."

"Sounds interesting," Alex can't help but laugh at this.

"It's not funny," whines Piper. "That's all my mum cares about, making sure I marry into a wealthy and proper family, she's driving me nuts!"

"So you just up and moved?" Alex couldn't help but be curious about what led this college girl to living in her crappy apartment building.

"Yeah, pretty much. I want to try my hand at writing before it's too late, and I just wanted to get out on my own. My friend Polly helped me find this place. Oh, and I'm working a few shifts down at the local library. Do you read much?"

"Yeah, funnily enough I do. Aside from inebriation it's a pretty good escape for me."

"Well come down to the library during my shift sometime, I can cut you a special deal,"

"Sounds nice kid." The conversation was flowing so easily for Alex, which was a rare occurrence for her.

"So what about you Alex, what's your story?" Piper looked at Alex with her deep blue eyes while she sipped her beer. Alex thought about this question for a moment as she grabbed a slice of pizza.

"I don't really have a story either. I live a few doors down with my mum, her boyfriend and my little sister."

"What are you studying at college?" Piper asks looking completely innocent, looking like it didn't even occur to her that there were people out there that couldn't afford college.

"No college for me kid, need money for that stuff."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I just realised how rude that probably sounded," Piper genuinely did not want to offend her new friend.

"It's fine Piper." Alex didn't know what else to say, and the two girls just sat there looking at each other for what felt like forever. "I pick up some waitressing shifts down at Orange Café, and aside from that I just help look after my sister, Lucy. Guess I should probably have a plan huh."

Piper felt awkward after that statement and wasn't quite sure how to continue. Before she could say anything Alex's phone rang. "Hello Lucy, what's wrong this time? C'mon, it's nearly midnight why can't you just stay at Sarah's house? You're seriously gonna make me drive like 40 minutes to get you right now just coz you've decided you need to sleep at home?" It then suddenly hit Alex that her mum had the car. "Shit, look Luce you're gonna need to tough it out for the night. Mum's got her first night shift in ages, she has the car."

Piper looked on curiously, she swore she could hear a tiny voice shouting from the other end of Alex's phone. "Hey look, is that your sister? I'd be happy to drive you to get her, as repayment for picking up dinner." Alex looked at her, thinking hard about the offer. She didn't usually like accepting help like this, but she also knew what Lucy was like. She would flip out if someone didn't pick her up, and there was no way in hell she was going to ask Robbie for help.

"Look, ok calm yourself kid. I've worked something out, I'll be there as soon as I can." Alex ended the call, mostly frustrated at Lucy's moods, but also wanting to pick her up if she didn't want to stay at the sleep over. "Thanks Piper, I owe you one."

"Don't be silly. I had sooo much coffee on the drive here from my parent's place, I'm not going to sleep anytime soon." Piper smiled warmly at Alex as they started to get up and leave the apartment.

Piper put the rest of the pizza and beers in the fridge as she went to grab her keys. She was pretty happy to have an excuse to hang out more with Alex. She wasn't sure what it was, but she just felt drawn to her. There was just something about Alex that was so mysterious, but so gentle at the same time. Piper led Alex to where her car was parked and jumped into the drivers seat. As she went to grab the hand break she practically grabbed the brunette's hand. "Sorry" they both mutter at the same time, both smiling at the contact.

"So, where to?" Piper was suddenly very curious to see what Alex's sister was like.

"Just take a right at the end of the road here, then keep driving straight for a loooong time."

"So your sister is at a friend's house?"

Alex exhaled loudly, "she's meant to be having a sleep over, but occasionally she cracks it and ends up calling me in the middle of the night to pick her up. I swear, between her and me, we're giving all Vauses a bad name." Piper watched as Alex laughed to herself.

Piper loved sleep overs as a kid, she couldn't imagine calling to be picked up. "So, why doesn't she want to stay?"

"I dunno. She can be pretty firey so she's either had a fight with her friend, or she's just feeling shitty. For such a pain in the ass, she can get pretty sensitive at times, decide she wants to sleep in her own bed. Or steal mine."

"Awwww, that's so cute. So you're a soft touch then?" Piper could see Alex rolling her eyes in the passenger seat.

"Hmmmmm, don't make those sort of assumptions Piper," Alex said smirking. "She knows that if she called mum she'd tell her to stay put. She's knows I'll cave to her eventually, otherwise she won't stop calling and texting me! She basically harasses me into picking her up."

"Sure sure, don't worry, I won't tell anyone how soft you are." Piper could not help poking fun in this situation, Alex obviously had a soft spot for her sister she didn't want to admit to. Piper put on the radio and the two sat in silence for a while, not an uncomfortable silence, it was just nice to be in the same space as someone and not feel the need to speak.

After about 35 minutes, Alex directed Piper off the main road to where her sister was. She was already sitting in the front yard with her backpack and a wicked frown on her face. The little girl looked just like Alex, just a miniature version. Lucy walked up to the car, got in and slammed the door shut, throwing her back pack across the seat. "Good to see you too," said Alex as she tried to decipher Lucy's face.

"Who are you?" Lucy didn't hesitate in asking Piper.

"Oh, um, I'm Piper, your new neighbour,"

"You'll get used to the attitude," Alex told Piper, smirking in the dark. "So, what happened this time?"

"I don't wanna talk about it,"

Alex left it at that, she was pretty sure she knew what happened, but she'd let Lucy tell her in her own time. Alex and Piper kept chatting on the way home, mostly about books. They eventually made their way back to the apartment building. As all three walked up the stairs Piper noticed Lucy grab onto Alex's hand, "so cute," she thought to herself, "they must be pretty close." They finally reached their floor.

"Thanks again Piper,"

"Anytime." Piper walked into her apartment smiling to herself.

Alex led Lucy into the apartment, the young girl sat herself down on the couch in a huff. Alex went into her bedroom to get ready for bed, changing into shorts and a t-shirt. Just as she was getting into bed, she saw Lucy poking her head around the bedroom door, "Can I sleep with you tonight?" Alex nodded as she got up and grabbed a t-shirt for Lucy to wear to bed. She closed the bedroom door and gave Lucy the shirt. The two sisters then squeezed into the small bed. Alex got in first, then held up the blanket for Lucy to slide in, the little girl immediately pressed her face into the pillow. Alex put her arm around her, "So you ready to talk about it?" she asked.

"Sarah's stupid friend kept calling us poor, and kept saying my sleeping bag was ugly. So I pushed her over."

Alex tried to stifle a laugh, Lucy was never afraid to stand up for herself, but at the end of the day she was just a sensitive little girl, Alex would do anything to make her feel better. "Well you don't need people like that, don't listen to her." Alex was used to this routine, two or three times each week Lucy would ask to sleep in Alex's room.

It wasn't long before the two sisters drifted off to sleep, Alex holding onto Lucy the whole time.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**

 **Hi folks, here's the next instalment.**

 **Let me know what you think of the pacing of this story so far.**

 **Cheers.**

Chapter 3 – feeling happy

The next few weeks went by quickly for Alex, for the first time in a while, she was actually feeling happy. She spent a lot of her spare time with Piper, and she was relieved that Robbie had been leaving her alone. She visited Piper at the library a few times when she wasn't working at the café, she really looked forward to seeing the blonde while she was working. They would often find a quiet corner when she wasn't busy and flip through their favourite books. This afternoon the two found themselves sitting in between the science fiction shelves.

"Shit Pipes, I can't even imagine those words coming out of your mouth," Alex laughed loudly as Piper talked about her day.

"I'm serious Al, this old woman was driving me nuts! She kept insisting that I was wrong and she wasn't trying to walk right past me with a damn DVD player from the kids play room under her arm!"

"Ok ok, I can't take this anymore," Alex said, catching her breath. "You hungry?"

"I'm fricking starved, I left my lunch at home and haven't eaten since this morning." Alex thought that might be the case, the blonde always seemed to be forgetting things. "Well then you're very lucky that I'm incredibly considerate," Alex said as she reached into her satchel, "Ham and cheese or salad and beef?"

"Hmmmm, definitely the ham," Piper smiled as she grabbed the sandwich from Alex's hand. Alex leaned back against the book shelf as she opened her own sandwich. "So, what are your plans tonight?"

"Nothing exciting, thought I might actually make a vague attempt at unpacking,"

"Well, how about you leave that for one more night and come over? Mum and Robbie are taking Lucy to a school fair, I'll be all on my lonesome," Alex raised an eyebrow as she looked at Piper, God she's hot, Alex thought to herself. She already knew that she liked hanging out with the blonde, and wanted the opportunity to spend the night with her.

"That sounds like fun, I get off early this afternoon, I'll come straight to yours."

"Great," Alex was ecstatic, all she wanted to do right now was kiss Piper, but she didn't want to blow it, she wanted to play the long game. The two sat there a bit longer, eating their lunch, Piper sighed and rested her head against Alex's shoulder, "I still haven't met your mum, what's she like?"

"She's pretty relaxed, if you come around early enough you can meet her before they go out."

"And what about Robbie, do you guys get along?"

Alex shuddered at the mention of his name, she had no interest in talking about him, "he's fine, I try stay out of his way,"

"What about Lucy, does he get along with her?" Piper was genuinely curious about how the new family situation worked.

"Can we stop talking about Robbie!" Alex spat out, she felt herself go ridged, she was sick of Piper asking about Robbie.

 **0-0-0-0-0-0**

Piper loved it when Alex visited her in the library, and the fact that she brought her lunch. Even though they'd only known each other a few weeks, Alex seemed to already know her so well. Their little rendezvous was going really well until Alex snapped about Robbie.

"Hey I'm sorry, I was just curious, we don't need to talk about him," it was obvious that Alex didn't like Robbie, but Piper didn't want to push her too far. Alex got up in a huff and was mumbling about needing to go. Piper looked at the younger woman's face, which was suddenly stone cold. She felt bad about making her uncomfortable. She grabbed the brunette by the arm before she could run off, "hey, I'll see you around 4 ok?" Alex just nodded, and before she knew what she was doing, Piper leaned in and kissed Alex goodbye on the cheek. She thought she detected the slightest smile on Alex's face before she turned and left.

 **0-0-0-0-0-0**

The rest of the day dragged on for Alex, she couldn't wait to have Piper alone tonight. She killed some time by visiting Nicky before she went home. Nicky lived a few blocks from Alex with her girlfriend Lorna. Alex and Nicky had gone to school together and were inseparable. Nicky was the only one Alex had told about the issues with Robbie. "Hey Vause, what the hell man, I've hardly seen you at all lately!"

"What can I say Nicholls, I've had better things to do lately," Alex smiled as she walked through the front door, sitting on the floor in front of the couch. Nicky sat next to Alex and passed her a joint, "Tell me Nicholls, do you ever stop smoking pot?"

"I try not to, you should know that by now Vause!" The two continued to sit on the floor, passing the joint to each other as the afternoon dragged on, "So how things with Robbie lately?"

"Asshole's left me alone for weeks, thank fuck."

"Please just keep your temper in check with him, ok? Doesn't matter how much of a giant you are, he can still kick your ass."

"You don't need to remind me of that Nicky. Besides, I'm not letting that asshole scare me, I'm not gonna just give into his shit."

"I know, I just worry about you lately, you should seriously consider telling your mum." In reality, Nicky was petrified of what Robbie could do to Alex. She witnessed him slapping her across the face one night, splitting her lip open in one quick movement. Of course, he never did it in front of Diane. Robbie seemed to hate the fact that Alex was openly gay, and was not going to hide it for anyone. Alex told Diane she was gay at 15, and never looked back. Diane loved Alex just the same, it didn't matter who she was attracted to, she was still her daughter. Nicky saw that bond between mother and daughter and to be honest, was completely jealous. Her own mother seemed to lack any kind of human emotion, and the two hadn't spoken in two years. The thing that worried Nicky the most was Alex's temper, when it came to Robbie the brunette made no attempt to curb her anger, and one day it wouldn't just be a slap in the face that Alex got.

"I'm not ready to say anything to her Nicky, and besides, I have a hot date tonight." Alex was keen to change the subject, and girls were always a subject that got Nicky interested.

"With who?"

"My new hot neighbour," Alex smiled widely, she honestly could not wait to see Piper and get lost in those blue eyes.

"Let me guess, sex tonight?" Nicky wiggled her eyebrows at Alex.

"Not yet Nicholls," Alex smiled at her friend. "Piper is different."

"Yeah sure she is," Nicky said as she pulled herself up from the floor. "Ok, I gotta go, but you'd better call me tomorrow with all the disgusting, sticky details!" Alex laughed at her friend as they hugged goodbye and Alex made her way back home.

 **0-0-0-0-0-0**

Alex opened the front door to her apartment and saw her mum sitting in the kitchen. "Well hello stranger!" Diane said to her daughter as she got up and kissed her on the cheek.

"Hi mum."

"I barely see you all week and that's all I get! So what's been keeping you so busy lately huh? You better not be getting into any more fights kid."

"I'm not getting into any fights mum, I've actually been hanging out with a new neighbour, Piper. Actually she should be here soon, I invited her over since you were all out tonight."

"You know you could have come tonight too Alex. But can't say I'm surprised you've instead decided to spend the night with a girl," Diane smiled at her daughter, knowing exactly what she would have planned for the night.

"It's not like that mum," Alex was about to tell her mum about Piper when Robbie walked into the kitchen with Lucy on his shoulders, Alex couldn't bring herself to look at him. At this exact moment there was a knock at the door, Alex jumped out of her seat and got to the door first, "Hey Pipes."

"Hey Al," said Piper as she made her way into the small apartment. Lucy immediately saw Piper and jumped down from Robbie's shoulders, "Hi Piper."

"Hey Lucy, how's it going?"

"It's good, mum and Robbie are taking me to the school fair tonight." Before anyone could say anything Robbie started talking, "So Alex, who's your new friend?" he always did a perfect job of acting sweet as pie in front of Diane.

"Hi I'm Piper, I moved in a few doors down last month."

"Well it's great to meet you Piper, I'm Diane, Alex and Lucy's mum." Piper looked at the older woman, she was just an older version of Alex, and still beautiful, the same piercing green eyes.

Alex could tell Robbie was feeling uncomfortable, "Well let's hit the road Diane, c'mon Lucy it's time to go." They all exchanged their goodbyes and finally Alex and Piper were alone.

Piper was the first to speak, "You look just like your mum, she seems really nice."

"Yeah she's alright," said Alex, "how about we start with some horrible horror movies?"

"Sounds perfect."

 **0-0-0-0-0-0**

Piper sat close to Alex on the couch, turning to face Alex as the first movie finished. She couldn't help but be drawn in by those eyes, there was something behind them, something buried deep down, but Piper couldn't stop herself getting lost every time she looked at Alex. "You hungry yet?" said Alex.

"Yeah, how about we order in some Chinese? I've become addicted to this little place over on Gilbert Street."

"Sounds good kid."

It was ridiculous, but Piper felt a shiver run down her spine every time Alex called her kid. Piper was the older one here, but felt like an adolescent all over again when she was this close to the brunette. Piper pulled out her phone to look up the online menu when she felt Alex place her hand on her thigh, "so what are we havin'?"

Piper suddenly forgot all about ordering dinner, turning to look at Alex. She searched the brunette's eyes before drawing her face closer to Alex's. Alex closed the distance between them and gently placed her lips on the blonde's, kissing her slowly. Piper retuned the kiss, feeling Alex slide her tongue along her lower lip. Piper couldn't stop a moan escaping her lips, spurring Alex on to deepen the kiss. Alex tasted like vanilla and cigarettes, and Piper found herself cupping Alex's face in her hands, the kiss becoming more frantic as the two began exploring each other bodies. Alex started running her hand underneath Piper's top towards her breasts, eliciting another moan from the blonde. Alex smiled into the kiss as she started kissing along Piper's jaw, whispering into her ear, "is this ok?" as she breathed heavily into Piper's ear, making her shudder.

"Mmm, yes," replied Piper in a breathy voice. The blonde had never felt this type of electricity in a kiss before, let alone with another girl. Sure, she had kissed a few girls in college, but it never felt like this. Alex started rubbing Piper's right breast over her bra, feeling her nipple become hard under her touch. Just as Piper was about to reach under Alex's top, a phone started ringing. "Shit, sorry Pipes," said Alex as she went to grab her phone from the coffee table. Piper was left on the couch, trying to catch her breath, feeling the intense warmth between her legs. Alex sat back down next to Piper with a huge grin, "you ready to go to a party?"

 **0-0-0-0-0-0**

Nicky had called Alex and told her about a party she just found out about, that was happening at her friend John's place. While a part of Alex was perfectly content to stay in the apartment with Piper, she also liked the idea of bringing the blonde to a party. Piper seemed happy to come along and Nicky picked them up soon after. Alex and Piper jumped into the car as Nicky sped off, "So Vause, how about you introduce me to your new friend."

"Piper, this is Nicky, my best friend and perpetual pain in the ass," Piper giggled as she made small talk with Nicky. It didn't take long before the girls stopped at a house on the outskirts of the city, with the party looking to be well and truly underway. Alex held the car door open for Piper and took hold of her hand, which fit perfectly into her own. "So where's Morello tonight? Is she actually letting you out on the town unsupervised?"

"Very funny Vause, I'm an upstanding citizen! She's visiting her sister this week, so I'm all alone."

The three girls walked into the house, which was buzzing with people and music. Nicky went to find John, and Alex wanted to find the drinks. "You happy with a beer?" she asked Piper, "Sure."

Alex kept hold of Pipers hand and led her into the back yard for a bit more space. She found the beers and took one for herself and Piper. They downed their drinks quickly and Piper pulled Alex out onto the lawn to dance. Maybe it was their earlier kiss, maybe it was the beer, but Piper was feeling braver than usual. She pulled Alex close to her, placing her hands on the brunettes hips. Alex was slightly taller, forcing Piper to lean up to kiss her lightly. Alex smiled as the two continued to dance, drink and laugh for the next two hours. "I think we need more drinks," said Alex as she broke away from Piper on the dance floor to get more beer. Piper smiled as she watched Alex walk away, she was definitely feeling a bit drunk by this point, but by no means was she done for the night. As she waited for Alex to return, Piper felt someone come up from behind her, "Hey there," said an unfamiliar voice, which definitely did not belong to Alex. "Now that your little girlfriend is gone, how about we go upstairs? Promise I'll show you a good time." This guy was obviously drunk, swaying slightly as he tried his best to impress Piper. "Oh, no thanks, I'm waiting for a friend."

"You're waiting for Vause hey, trust me, I'm better than that bitch," said the drunken stranger as he grabbed onto Piper's arm, attempting to pull her around the corner of the house. "I said no OK," Piper had enough of this idiot, who just tightened his grip as she tried to pull away. He kept squeezing her arm tighter before all of a sudden he was on the floor.

 **0-0-0-0-0-0**

Alex was making her way back to Piper when she saw fucking Mendez trying to pull her away. Alex hated that guy with a passion, he never took no for an answer. Alex saw red, dropped the beers and started running towards Mendez, knocking him to the ground in a hard tackle. Before he even knew what was happening, Alex dragged him to his feet and swiftly punched him in the face, "Shit, Alex!" Piper couldn't quite believe what she just saw. She was glad Alex had gotten rid of the guy, but at the same time she didn't want her to start a fight. "You just never fucking learn do you Mendez!", said Alex as she stood over him, "Don't worry about it Al, let's just go ok," Piper was trying to drag Alex away to find Nicky, but before they got far Alex was pinned down by two other men, obviously friends of the one Alex had hit.

"Vause, you just never stay down do ya?" Said one of them, smiling as he held Alex to the ground while his friend stood watch. Piper was about to go for help when Alex swiftly kicked the young guy in the groin before pulling herself up. Before she could turn around, the second guy didn't hesitate in taking a huge swing and connecting his fist with Alex's face. Alex hit the ground with a thud, while Mendez managed to get up and kick Alex hard in the stomach. Piper was completely shocked and relieved when she saw Nicky breaking up the group, "Alright you fucking assholes just get the fuck out!" she shouted before approaching her friend, still on the ground. "Just can't help yourself can you Vause."

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In the next 20 minutes the three girls were back in Nicky's car, driving back home. "Shit Vause, did you really think you could take out three guys!?" laughed Nicky as looked back at her friend. "I could've taken them if you hadn't got in the way asshole," joked Alex from the backseat, sporting a bloody nose and split lip.

"Al, are you sure you're ok?" said Piper as she looked at the brunette with concern in her eyes. It was obvious she was in pain but would never admit it. Piper gingerly ran her hand over Alex's face, searching her eyes for an answer.

"I'm fine Pipes. I'm sorry I fucked up our night, I just couldn't stand there and watch that asshole try to drag you off."

"Oh yeah," chimed in Nicky,"Mende is a real piece of work."

"To be honest, no one's ever done anything like that for me before. It was really sweet, but I hated seeing you get hit like that," said Piper as she kept her hand on Alex's face, as though this would somehow ease the pain in her face and side. They eventually made it back to their apartment building a little after 1 am. Piper could tell Alex was having trouble walking up the stairs, so she slid up next to her, gently placing her arm around the brunettes waist, "thanks Pipes," said the husky voice in between pained steps. They finally made it to Alex's front door, but before they could open it, Diane opened it from the other side, looking at Piper holding up her daughter.

"What the fuck Alex," said Diane through clenched teeth, "what the fuck happened huh? What happened to NOT getting into any more fights?"

"It was different this time ma, I was defending Piper's honour," said Alex as she laughed, still slightly drunk. Diane looked towards Piper who just nodded and lowered her head.

"I don't want to know what the fuck you were doing, but I thought you were gonna be home tonight, I was worried, I texted you and you didn't fucking answer."

"Sorry mum, I know I'm an asshole," said Alex. Piper led her over to the couch where she helped her sit down. Diane went into the bathroom and came back with a bowl of warm water and a small towel in her hands. She sat herself on the coffee table in front of her daughter, "So what the hell happened this time?" Piper explained the whole situation to Diane, feeling slightly responsible for what happened. Alex winced as Diane raised the warm towel to her split lip, wiping away the blood. Without even thinking, with the alcohol still running through her body, Piper automatically raised her hand to gently rub Alex's cheek, "Are you sure you're ok?" This little motion didn't escape Diane, who wet the towel again and cleaned up her daughter's bloody nose, and wiped the dirt off the rest of her face. Alex didn't respond, but just leaned her head on Piper's shoulder. "I'm sorry Pipes, I ruined your night."

"No, no you didn't ruin anything. Shit, I was relieved when you came back but it all happened so quickly."

"Well by the sounds of it, the jerk deserved it," said Diane as she put the bowl and towel down next to her, but she was worried. "Baby, are you sure you're ok?" Diane was glad that Alex was so willing to protect Piper, but she couldn't help but worry about her eldest daughter. Alex just nodded, and went to try and stand and quickly slipped back down again. Diane sighed, "Lift your shirt Ally," Alex didn't bother arguing and lifted her shirt to reveal a few small scratches from where she'd hit the ground and a bruise on her right side. "It's ok mum, it's just a bit sore." Alex hated seeing that look on her mother's face, that look of complete concern and fear.

"Ok, but if you don't feel well you fuckin' let me know ok." Alex just nodded. "Alright, I'll leave you two alone." Diane got up and kissed her daughter on the head before going back to bed. Piper got up first, and held her arms out to help Alex, who winced again as she got up from the couch. Piper slipped an arm around Alex's waist as she led the tall brunette to her room. She helped Alex undress and get into bed. Alex now lay on her bed in nothing more than a t-shirt and boxers. Piper sat down next to her, looking down into those green eyes. "I hate seeing you hurt Al."

"I'm fine Pipes, besides, no way was I letting that asshole hurt you." Alex then gently lifted Piper's wrist, the one Mendez had a death grip on, some faint bruising visible. Alex brought Piper's wrist to her mouth and gently kissed it three times. "Are you ok?" she asked Piper.

"I'm fine, I'm not the one who got attacked remember?" said Piper as she smiled again into those green eyes. She did not want to leave Alex alone in her room, so she stood up, kicked off her shoes, and took off her jeans and shirt before reaching into Alex's top drawer to take out an old Metallica t-shirt which she slipped on. She then slid in next to Alex, the two girls lying face to face. Alex was exhausted and sore, even if she wouldn't admit it. She rested her head on Piper's chest, closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**

 **Hello again,**

 **Thanks for the reviews, and thanks to the guest that mentioned seeing Lucy and Piper form a bond. I really like that idea, and have tried to start showing that in this chapter. I wanted to use this chapter to get more of a glimpse into the Vause home life, and expose Piper to the tension between Robbie and Alex. The next chapter will be longer, and be based over a longer period of time.**

 **Cheers.**

Chapter 4 – the family

Piper slowly opened her eyes, the early morning sun was creeping though the small window in Alex's bedroom, she looked around the room and noticed that Alex was still fast asleep with her head on Piper's chest, an arm wrapped around Piper's midsection. Piper ran her eyes over Alex's perfect pale skin, and noticed how relaxed she looked. Piper was feeling stiff after lying in the same position for so long, but she really didn't want to wake the brunette.

She started to take in the room itself. There were piles of books on the floor, old CDs and records stacked next to a CD player, and a few pairs of sneakers and boots next to the door. Everything about the room was very Alex. Piper decided she had to stretch her body, and gently ran her fingers over Alex's face, slowly moving her shoulder to the side in an attempt to get up. Alex's body responded and automatically turned over to continue sleeping. Piper swung her legs over the edge of the bed to the floor, but before she could get up she noticed the bedroom door creak open, and Lucy's head poke around the corner. Lucy looked at Piper very carefully before closing the door and walking away. Piper got up and followed the young girl's footsteps into the lounge room. "Hey Lucy, what are you doing up so early?"

"I was just checking if Alex was awake," the young girl turned and noticed the bloody towel still on the coffee table, the one Diane had used to clean up Alex's face the night before. "Is Alex ok?" she asked in a small voice.

"Yeah she's fine," Piper wasn't sure how much detail she should offer about what really happened.

"Did she get into a fight? That happens a lot," Piper was a bit surprised by how open Lucy was being with her.

"Yeah, sort of. But I promise she's ok, she just had a few scratches, that's all."

"Ok, that's good. It's hard to not worry about her sometimes, she's been in a lot of fights, I don't like it." Piper wasn't sure how to respond to this statement, especially considering it came from the mouth of a ten year old. Before she could respond, Lucy spoke again.

"Why were you in Alex's bed?" curiosity lingered in the young girl's eyes.

"Oh, um, I just didn't want her to sleep alone after last night. I thought she could use some company."

"You were worried too weren't you?" Piper was surprised by this, a ten year old shouldn't be this consumed by worry. The kid was obviously switched on, and Piper didn't see any point in not being honest with her.

"I guess I was a little worried, I wanted to make sure she was ok, so I decided to stay in her room."

"That's good, I think Ally needs someone to look after her, mum can't be there all the time."

"Well I promise I'll look out for her," said Piper, and she really meant it.

"Do you think she's awake yet? Maybe we could all do something together today?"

Piper smiled at this suggestion. It was Saturday and she had no plans. "I think that sounds nice. Why don't we go check on her," Piper smiled as she walked with Lucy back towards Alex's bedroom. They slipped through the door quietly, Piper stayed standing near the doorway while Lucy walked up to the bed, still in her purple pyjamas, and gently sat next to Alex. Alex had turned over since they'd left the room before, now facing in Lucy's direction, giving Lucy full view of her split lip and a slight bruise under her right eye. Piper just watched the way that Lucy examined Alex's face, so much thought going on behind those eyes. Lucy leaned in close to Alex and started talking, "Ally, how are you feeling?" Alex slowly started to stir, eventually opening her eyes to look up at Lucy.

"Hey kid," she responded in a deeper than usual voice, trying to wake up, "I'm fine, just a bit of a rough night." Lucy continued to just look at Alex, studying her face, before embracing her big sister in a hug. Piper didn't say a word, just watching the scene unfold. Alex pulled back from the hug, "I don't need another lecture Luce, mum is already pissed at me."

"You said you'd promise to not fight with people anymore."

"I know," said Alex. A silence then fell over the room, which Piper wanted to fill, "So, Lucy asked if we could all hang out today, what do you think Al?" Piper said as she walked towards the bed.

"I think that sounds like a great idea, what should we do?" Alex smiled at Lucy, trying to lighten the mood.

"How about we bake some cookies and watch Frozen?"

"I think we can manage that," said Alex, still smiling. Piper loved watching the two sisters interact like this, it made her wish she had a sister. She got along with both her brothers, but it just wasn't the same as what she saw between Alex and Lucy. Alex slowly started to get up, now sitting on the edge of the bed, "do you need help?" asked Lucy, her previous smile giving way to worry again. "Nah I'm good kid. Why don't you go find your Frozen DVD and decide what type of cookies you wanna bake." Lucy smiled as she walked out of the room, brushing past Piper, who took the opportunity to sit next to Alex on the bed, "You too are so close, it's insanely adorable," said Piper as she smiled at Alex.

"Yeah, we're pretty close. I just feel like such an asshole when she looks at me like that. I know I need to stop getting myself into shitty situations but it's hard. I just see red sometimes and that's it, I can't stop myself. Then she looks at me like someone tried to kill me, even if it's just a scratch," Alex had a wry smile on her face as she spoke.

"She's just looking out for her big sister," said Piper, as she leaned in and kissed Alex on the lips. Her lips were so soft, and that kiss was so gentle, Piper just wanted to melt into it and forget about the rest of the world. Alex slowly pulled away from the kiss, and rested her forehead against Piper's. The two eventually got up, threw on some sweats and jumpers and went to find Lucy. Piper was wearing Alex's sweats, which were about an inch too long. They found Lucy sitting in the kitchen with Diane.

"Morning you two, how did you sleep?"

"Like a rock," replied Alex as she prepared coffee for the three adults.

"And you Piper?" asked Diane, knowing the two had squeezed into Alex's small bed.

"Yeah good, I just always wake up early. I hope you don't mind that I stayed over," said Piper, realising she was just making herself at home in Diane's apartment.

Diane smiled, "don't be silly, you're both adults, and Alex could use someone to keep her in line."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence ma,"

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The afternoon slowly went by, with the weather turning cold and wet. Robbie had gone to work in the morning, leaving the others at home. Diane was on the phone to her sister, while Piper, Alex and Lucy watched movies with Lucy. Eventually, around 4pm Lucy fell asleep with her head in Alex's lap on the couch, and her legs stretched across Piper's lap. They had baked a bunch of chocolate cookies, and were now absolutely stuffed. Piper was about to drift off to sleep when she heard the front door close, Robbie was home. He dropped his keys on the kitchen table and made his way into the apartment. He walked into the lounge and saw the girls on the couch, and fixed his eyes on Alex. "Where's your mother?"

"In your room," replied Alex without looking at him.

"I see the promises you make to your mother mean a whole lot, I heard about your little incident last night. By the looks of it, you didn't fair too well," Robbie was trying to make Alex feel weak, but she just kept ignoring him. "And great example you're setting for your sister there."

Piper could sense the tension in the room, but Alex still refused to respond. Piper knew she should stay out of it, but she couldn't help herself. "Actually, I'm the reason Alex got hurt last night, she stopped some creep from dragging me away. I'm really grateful for it, no one's ever put themselves on the line like that for me before." Piper searched Robbie's face for a reaction, but saw none. He just kept walking past them and went to find Diane. Before Piper could say anything, Lucy woke up.

"Finally! I thought you were gonna have me trapped here all night!"

"Don't be stupid Alex," said Lucy as she smiled. "Is Robbie home yet?"

"Yeah, he's with mum,"

"Cool, I'm gonna go say hi," and with that, Lucy made her way down the hall to Diane and Robbie's bedroom. Alex just sat there, but the pained look on her face did not escape Piper.

"Look, Alex, I know you don't want to talk about it, but what is going on with Robbie? Is there some issue between you guys?

Alex was tired of hiding it, but she wasn't ready to give Piper the gory details. "Look, lets just say he's not terribly fond of me. I'll tell you about it someday Piper, but not today. Please, can we just enjoy the rest of today without talking about him?"

Piper sighed, she knew there was no point pushing for more just yet, "Sure, ok."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 – falling for you

All Alex wanted to do right now was appreciate the quiet moments. It didn't matter what else was happening in her life, she needed to focus on the here and now, the things that were so simple but also so hard to get. Her and Piper had been officially dating for a month now, but they kept it pretty quiet. Alex felt like the quieter they were about the relationship, the less likely she was to fuck it up. Amazingly for Alex, they still hadn't slept together. Alex didn't want to ruin it, she didn't want to just rush into sex knowing that Piper had never slept with a girl before. She wanted to wait until she was sure Piper was ready. It was a Wednesday night and Alex had gone straight to Piper's place after her shift finished. She lay on Piper's new couch, her head resting in Piper's lap, feeling the blonde run her gentle fingers through her hair, occasionally brushing her cheek. Alex closed her eyes, this felt so good, so safe, so intimate. She kept her eyes closed, enjoying the moment while Piper read a book. Before she could open her eyes, the front door swung open loudly and Lucy came barging in. "There you are! Mum wants you to come home, dinner is ready." Alex was slightly startled by the disturbance, "Geez Luce, learn to fucking knock in the future." Alex slowly lifted her head from Piper's lap, and saw the smirk on her sister's face.

"Are you guys a couple now or something?"

"Would you shut up Lucy! C'mon, let's go before mum gets even more pissed." Alex just wanted Lucy to stop talking, but Lucy was only just starting.

"Piper, you should come too. Mum always makes plenty of food."

"I'd love to come, if you think your mum won't mind?"

"No way would she mind! You're a lot nicer than Alex's last girlfriend, she was crazy" Piper couldn't help but laugh at how easily Lucy could make her big sister squirm. Before Alex could say another word, Piper grabbed her hand and led her out of the apartment. "She's just winding you up Al, let it go" she whispered into Alex's ear before gently kissing her cheek. Alex relented, but gave Lucy the biggest glare as they walked towards their apartment.

Lucy led them back to the Vause apartment where Diane was setting the dinner table, "there you are," said Diane as she noticed Alex and Piper holding hands, "things are getting more serious between you two by the looks of it," Diane winked at her daughter and offered a smirk.

"Yeah, they're a couple now, so I told Piper she should come to dinner." Lucy stated as she got napkins for the table.

Diane could see Piper looking embarrassed and couldn't help but laugh, she stopped Piper before she could say anything, "It's all good Piper, you should definitely stay for dinner. Lucy, remember when we talked about being less bossy?"

"I'm not being bossy, I just wanted Piper to come for dinner." Just as Lucy was about to continue protesting, Robbie walked in the door, having just finished work for the day.

"Hey Robbie!"

"Hey Lucy," Robbie smiled down at her before walking over to Diane and kissing her on the cheek.

"I invited Piper over for dinner, she's Alex's new girlfriend," Lucy was obviously keen to tell everyone about the new relationship. Alex just rolled her eyes at her sister, "Seriously Lucy." Before Alex could say anything else, she noticed a weird look on Robbie's face before he dragged Diane into their bedroom.

"What was that all about?" asked Piper.

"I think I have an idea," Alex knew exactly what it was about, she could now hear raised voices coming from the bedroom.

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"Are you really just gonna sit there and let this happen! Are you gonna let Alex flaunt her bulshit behaviour in front of your ten year old!"

Diane could not believe what she was hearing. Robbie had never raised Alex's sexuality before, so she was shocked to hear him ranting about it now that Alex had a girlfriend. "What the fuck is wrong with you Robbie, she isn't flaunting shit! She brought her girlfriend over for dinner, who happens to be really fucking nice. That girl is good for Alex, how can you not see that? That girl is making MY daughter happy, she's keeping her grounded and out of trouble. Alex might not be perfect but her heart has always been in the right place. You know she's had it tough, why can't you just be happy for her?"

"Why can't you see that she's a fuck up Diane? It doesn't seem to matter what the fuck Alex does, you always defend her. How about you take my side for once!"

"Don't you dare call her a fuck up, you don't know what she's had to deal with growing up! She is not a fuck up, you just need to give her a chance, she's fucking 19 years old. She's never had a father figure in her life, instead of having a go at her why don't you try getting to know her?" Diane had had enough of Robbie's attack on Alex. Yeah, Alex had made her fair share of mistakes, but when Diane looked at Alex all she could see was herself. She knew Robbie and Alex didn't always get along, but she never knew it was this bad. "If you can't accept my kid, I want you out of here."

"Don't be fucking ridiculous Diane. What, you gonna go back to working 70 hour weeks just because you refuse to see the problems with Alex?"

"I don't give a shit how much I have to work to take care of them, but they deserve to have people around them that care. And if you don't care about Alex, if you're so fuckin' put out by the fact that she has a girlfriend, you can get the hell out. I can never put you before my kids Robbie, never."

"It's not just the girlfriend Diane, it's everything. She's getting into fights, getting drunk, getting high, is that how you want Lucy to end up?"

"You'd better stop talking right now, Alex would do anything for Lucy. Alex has had her fair share of fights, but she has never exposed Lucy to drugs or alcohol, never. And you know what, she's an adult, I'm not gonna tell her what to do. She is trying Robbie, she's trying so fucking hard, why can't you see that?" Before Diane could continue, Alex burst into their bedroom. Diane had seen that look on her face before, and she knew what it meant. Diane immediately went to Alex, placing a hand on her chest, "Alex, why don't you just go back out there with Piper and Lucy, we're nearly done here," she could feel the tension in her daughter, could feel her heart pounding, could see the anger in those green eyes. Diane knew how deeply Alex felt everything, and sometimes Diane just wanted to protect Alex from herself. Alex wasn't listening, and Diane moved her hand to Alex's face, forcing her daughter to look her in the eye, "Baby, you listen to me ok. Everything is ok, I want you to calm down, please, for me. Once you're calm, we can all talk about this, but not now, not when you're this worked up." Alex looked back at Diane with glassy eyes, "please don't be upset baby, go back out there with Piper and Lucy." Alex just nodded, and turned to leave the room. However, she stopped when Robbie spoke up.

"What the hell is wrong with you huh, pulling that shit in front of your sister?"

Alex turned around to face Robbie and walked towards him, "do you really have that much of a problem with me, just because I'm gay? Or is it for some other reason? Let me guess, you got the hots for Piper and you can't stand the fact that she wants me, not you." Before Alex could do anything Robbie's eyes filled with rage as he grabbed her by the shoulders and slammed her into the bedroom wall, maintaining a tight grip on her.

"Get your fucking hands off her!" Robbie stood back, angry. He said nothing, picked up his jacket from the bed and stormed out of the apartment. Alex was still standing against the wall where he'd pinned her, "I'm sorry Ally, did he hurt you?" said Diane, tears welling in her eyes. Alex just shook her head and pulled her mum in for a hug. "I'm sorry mum."

"You have nothing to apologise for baby, but you need to stop pushing people's buttons, even if they're in the wrong. You remember this, you're gorgeous, you're kind, and you got a lot of love to give. Piper is good for you, she's an amazing girl. Don't you ever let anyone tell you there's anything wrong with you. Robbie will come around, he just needs to blow off some steam."

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Alex decided to spend the night at Piper's, she just needed a bit of space. She knew she'd have to try and explain the situation to Lucy, the poor kid was completely confused by what happened that night.

"Ok Al, it's time to tell me what's going on, what's happened between you and Robbie?" Alex just sighed, moving to the edge of Piper's couch. She slowly leaned her elbows on her knees and put her head in her hands, it would be so easy to fall apart right now, but she wouldn't let herself.

"Pipes, I don't even know where to begin."

"That's ok, but this situation between you two is starting to scare me. You need to be honest with me, you can trust me Al, all I want to do is help you. Just let me help you, please." Piper took Alex's face in her hands and kissed her deeply, holding her gaze as she pulled away from the kiss, "You don't need to hide anything from me."

"I know, it's just, I've only ever said this stuff to Nicky, no one else knows. I'll tell you, but you have to promise that you won't tell anyone. I'm not ready for my mum to know, and I don't want Lucy to ever know."

"You're scaring me Alex."

"Promise me."

"Ok, I promise."

Alex took a deep breath before she started talking, "Look, this shit between me and Robbie has been going on for about five months now. He was fine in the beginning. Then he just started acting weird, he didn't deal well with the whole gay thing. Then one night he caught me sneaking home drunk and he just lost his shit. Ever since that night, every now and then, when he gets me alone he gets aggressive. At first it was just some pushing and shoving, then it got worse."

"What did he do?"

Alex sighed, looking straight ahead, avoiding Piper's gaze, "Stupid bastard always made sure he never left any marks on my face, except for once." Piper put her hand on top of Alex's, rubbing it softly, "He….he just started making weird comments. Saying I couldn't know I was gay if I'd never been with a man. Then, I guess he decided to take that lesson into his own hands."

Piper was horrified, she could not believe what she was hearing. In barely a whisper, she asked the question, "did he rape you?"

"No….just groping so far. Tells me to let him do it, get it out of his system before Lucy gets older." Alex's eyes started to well with tears, "I just got so scared when he said that, I couldn't take the chance that he'd ever do anything to Lucy. He can do what he likes to me, but if he ever touched her, I actually think I'd kill him." Piper let the tears fall down her face as she pulled Alex into a tight hug.

"Shit, Alex, I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this. I can't fucking believe he's done this to you, he can't keep doing this to you Al, this isn't right, we need to tell Diane."

"And he's just gonna tell her I'm a liar. Look Pipes, I'm the family fuck up, what if she doesn't believe me?"

"Al I've seen you with your mum, and I just can't see her not believing you. She adores you, she trusts you, she's got no reason to not believe you."

"Yeah but she's got a reason to want to keep Robbie around, it's only because of him that she can be home so much with Lucy these days."

"Alex, he is abusing you, you can't just say you'll put up with it so Diane can be home more," Piper felt herself becoming frustrated, but tried to stay calm.

"You don't get it Piper! You come from a different world, you've never had to struggle for money, struggle to keep the lights on and buy a fucking loaf of bread! That's what it was like for us." Piper stopped, she knew they didn't have much money, but she didn't know it was that bad. She knew her and Alex came from different backgrounds but it never mattered, it still didn't. But Piper did start to realise that she would never understand some of the struggles Alex had to deal with, struggles Diane dealt with.

"I'm sorry. But please this can't go on, we'll figure something out, I'll help out with the money just please, we need to tell Diane."

"I don't want your money Piper! I'm not some charity case you need to feel sorry for."

"No, you're not, you're my fucking girlfriend! You're my girlfriend that I'm completely falling for! My girlfriend that just told me she is being abused in her own home! So yeah, I'm gonna do whatever I can to get you out of this situation Alex, why can't you just stop being an ass for five minutes to see that?"

"Wait, you're falling for me?"

"Yeah, I guess I am."

"I'm falling for you too." Alex leaned over and pulled Piper into a hug, she felt a wave of relief wash over her, it felt good to tell Piper, but it was terrifying at the same time. Piper gently rubbed Alex's back, and kissed her cheek. Alex couldn't take it anymore, and let the tears fall silently at first, but the tears then turned into heavy sobs. Piper just tightened her grip on Alex, all she wanted to do was protect her, take away her pain. "Shhhh, it's ok, I'll always be here Al, you'll always have me." The two just sat there on the couch, Piper holding Alex while she cried, cried out all the tears she had been holding onto for months. Eventually, Alex exhausted herself and fell asleep in Piper's lap. Piper kept her arms wound around Alex tightly, afraid to let go. Then, there was a soft knock at the front door. Piper didn't want to wake Alex, so asked who it was from the couch, trying to not be too loud, "It's Diane."

"Oh, door's open." Diane then walked into Piper's apartment and saw the two girls on the couch, saw Piper holding onto Alex while she slept.

"How's she doing?" asked Diane, fear in her voice.

"Honestly? Not good, she's struggling right now, all she's worried about is what you think of her. I really care about your daughter Diane, all I want to do is keep her safe, and I'm starting to feel like she's not safe around Robbie."

"He's not a bad guy Piper, he just loses himself in the moment sometimes."

Piper didn't know what to say, she wasn't going to say anymore without discussing it with Alex, but she was starting to see how little Diane understood about the situation. Piper just kept her eyes on Alex, who was still sleeping, her head in Piper's lap, her hands grasping Piper's t-shirt. There was something almost childlike about Alex in that moment, the way she grasped onto Piper so tightly while she slept. Piper just absentmindedly kept running her hand through Alex's long dark hair, avoiding Diane's gaze.

"She's always been a handful," Diane started speaking again, smiling as she remembered Alex's childhood. "She didn't take no for an answer from anyone, and she always stood up for herself, too much sometimes. It doesn't matter how old she gets, she'll always be my little girl." Alex started to stir, rolling onto her back. She opened her eyes and looked up at Piper, before rolling over and seeing her mum sitting directly across from her. "I'm staying here tonight,"

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Alex stayed with Piper for three days before she went back home. It was nice, she could almost forget about what was waiting for her at home. Right now, she did not want to think about that, she just wanted to live in the moment. It was 9 am, and both girls had the morning off. Alex woke up before Piper, and just lay there looking at her. Piper was lying on her back, the sheet pulled up to her waist, exposing her breasts as she slept. Alex moved swiftly, until she was straddling Piper, who continued to sleep. Alex leaned down and ran her tongue over each of Piper's breasts, slowly trailing her tongue up Piper's chest and neck. Piper started to groan, but didn't wake up until Alex started to kiss her, taking her bottom lip between her teeth before running her tongue against Piper's, who moaned as she woke up. "Mmmhhh, I could get used to waking up like this." Alex deepened the kiss, as she rubbed Piper's nipples between her fingers. She started kissing along Piper's jawline towards her ear, sucking on her ear lobe, eliciting a long moan from her girlfriend. "Are you ready?" Alex whispered into her girlfriend's ear as she slowly moved her hand between Piper's thighs, "Yes" whispered Piper as she lifted her hips against Alex, desperate for more contact. Alex continued to kiss Piper as she moved her hand inside the blonde's underwear, instantly greeted by warmth and wetness. Alex started circling her fingers around Piper's clit as she kissed her breast, flicking her tongue over the nipple before grasping it between her teeth.

"Shit, Al, that feels so good," whispered Piper as she grabbed Alex's hair, still grinding her hips against her girlfriend. Alex slowly slid her hand down further, sliding two fingers inside Piper. Piper inhaled sharply and starting moving her hips in time with Alex as she moved her fingers in and out of Piper. Alex then deepened her fingers inside Piper before curling them against her g-spot, "Ahhgghh, fuck, Alex, mmmhh." Piper was about to lose control. She'd had sex with her fair share of men, but she'd never felt anything this intense. Piper moaned even louder as Alex inserted a third finger as she sucked on Piper's earlobe, "I want you to come for me Pipes,"

"Al, I'm so close, fuck."

Alex then moved so that she was straddling Piper's thigh, and started moving her own core against Piper's thigh as she continued to curl her fingers inside her girlfriend. Piper could feel Alex's wetness against her thigh, which drove her crazy. "Fuck, Al, you're…so wet."

"Mmmhhh, just touching you makes me wet Piper," said Alex in a deep and breathy voice. These deep words against Piper's ear drove her insane, and she felt her walls tighten as Alex pushed her closer to the edge, "you're so close, I can feel it, you're so fucking wet." Alex pushed her fingers in deep and curled her fingers one last time inside Piper, pushing her over the edge, "Mmhhh, Alex!" shouted Piper as she came harder than she ever had before. Alex slowed the movement of her fingers inside Piper, bringing her girlfriend down from the intense orgasm. Alex then leaned down and tenderly kissed Piper as she removed her fingers, wiping them on her boxer shorts. Piper was still breathing heavily, clinging onto Alex as she tried to regain composure, "shit, Al, that was amazing." Alex moved herself off Piper's thigh and lay down beside her, pulling her girlfriend into her arms, wishing they could stay in that moment forever.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 - falling apart

Piper woke up a couple hours later, her head on Alex's chest. She turned her head to look at the brunette, she looked completely calm as she slept. Piper felt so much closer to Alex since that morning when they'd had sex for the first time, she had never felt so close to another human being. She looked at the time, it was nearly midday and she needed to get to the library, "Alex, time to wake up."

"Not yet," replied Alex, half asleep.

"I need to get to work babe, you can just hang out here if you want." Piper knew Alex was avoiding home, and she couldn't blame her. She knew Alex had to go back eventually, but Piper was happy to have Alex stay with her. At least she knew Alex was safe here. Alex sat up in bed, "I need to go back home, talk to Lucy. And mum."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No that's ok, you need to get to work, I'll be fine. I'll leave you alone tonight, give you a chance to get some more writing done."

"Ok, but don't stay away too long," Piper leaned into Alex and kissed her on the lips before she started getting ready for work. The two left Piper's apartment together, but stopped in their tracks when they saw Lucy in the hallway. "Hey kid, why aren't you at school?"

"Because it's Saturday," Lucy stated without any emotion.

"Oh, yeah." This was the first time in a long time that Alex didn't know what to say to Lucy.

"I'll leave you to it," said Piper as she kissed Alex goodbye, "See you later Lucy." Lucy didn't respond, she just stood there staring at Alex as Piper walked down the stairs. Lucy walked back into the apartment, and Alex followed her. Lucy walked straight into Alex's room, quietly sitting down on her bed. "I've been sleeping in here while you've been gone, I hope that's ok."

"Of course it's ok."

"What happened, why didn't you come home for three days?"

"I just needed some space, some time to think about things."

"About Robbie?"

"Yeah, about Robbie."

"Is everything ok now?"

"Yeah kid, it's fine. We'll work things out. But I won't stay away any more ok, promise."

"Ok. Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"Yeah, definitely."

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Piper's afternoon shift at the library dragged on. She knew she should really focus on writing tonight, but she just couldn't get Alex out of her head. She realised that she really didn't like the idea of Alex staying in the same apartment as Robbie. She hated him, hated the way he played with Alex's emotions and took advantage of her closeness to Lucy. She knew Robbie had been pretty good at hiding this behaviour from Diane, but she still didn't understand what Diane saw in him. She knew she couldn't blame Diane for the situation, but Piper just wished she would see Robbie for who he really was, and what he was doing to Alex. Piper knew that Diane would do anything for her kids, even if she hadn't always been there in the past. This would make it even worse, when the truth eventually came out.

She decided to go see Alex after work, she wouldn't be able to concentrate on writing anyway. She just needed to make sure Alex was ok, that things would be alright in the apartment.

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Piper knocked on the front door, and was happy to see it was Diane who answered. "Hey Piper, how's the library going?"

"Ok, kinda boring actually. Is Alex around?" Diane just smiled and pointed towards the couch. Piper took a few steps closer before she saw the incredibly sweet scene. Alex and Lucy had fallen asleep on the couch, Alex had her arm draped over her little sister, almost in an attempt to stop her from rolling off the small piece of furniture. "They've been like that for an hour, Alex stayed home today and spent some time with Lucy. Lucy missed her a lot in the last few days, can't blame her really. With the hours I used to work, Alex always used to look after Lucy. Alex has probably spent more time with her than I have in the last 5 years." Diane paused for a moment, just looking at her two daughters, "Look, Piper, I'm sorry about what happened."

"It's not your fault Diane, you've always been great. But like I said to you the night it happened, I feel like Alex isn't safe around Robbie, and that scares me."

"Sweetie, I promise it's ok. Look, I know Robbie isn't perfect but he's not a bad person. We've spoken a lot about Alex in the last few days, everything will be ok."

Piper knew it was futile to continue the conversation, so she just smiled at Diane as she walked over to the couch. She smiled as she noticed Lucy tightly holding onto Alex's t-shirt, in the exact same way that Alex had held onto Piper's. "How about a coffee?"

"Sounds good," Piper did genuinely like Diane, it was easy to see that all she wanted to do was make her kids happy.

"So how are things with you and Alex?"

"Really good actually, I'm really happy."

"I'm glad sweetie." Diane was really happy that Alex had found someone like Piper. Diane and Alex had always been close, but lately she felt like Alex was pulling away from her. The fighting had slowed down a lot in the last 12 months, but Alex was going out more, and coming home late more. Diane saw so much of herself in Alex at that age, which just worried her more. On top of that, Diane didn't know how to fix the situation between Alex and Robbie, which just seemed to be getting worse. At first, Diane thought it would be good for Alex to have another parental figure in her life. Robbie had been good to Diane, she wouldn't have let him move in if she didn't trust him, but that last fight between the two of them had been on her mind constantly. Diane was soon dragged away from her thoughts when Lucy walked into the kitchen.

"Hey sweetie, you're finally awake. You hungry?"

"Not really, me and Alex ate not long ago."

"Is she still asleep?"

"Yeah, she's really tired today." Piper walked into the lounge room and sat on the floor next to the couch, where Alex was still sleeping. Piper tucked a few strands of hair behind Alex's ear, brushing her cheek.

"It's kinda creepy when you sit there watching me sleep." Alex smirked as she opened her eyes, seeing Piper right next to her.

"Whatever asshole," Piper leaned over to give Alex a quick kiss, "Lucy said you were still asleep."

"I was, until she kicked me about five times before she got up, little hard to sleep through that." Alex sat up to give Diane space to sit down.

"So what are you girls doing tonight?"

"Hmmm, no plans yet, any ideas Pipes?"

"No, but I'm pretty tired after work, so could we just have a quiet one?"

"Yeah!" Lucy practically shouted as she joined them all in the lounge. "We could play board games, or cards?"

"Lucy, they might want some time alone instead of you bossing them around all night," Diane nudged her youngest daughter.

"No, actually that sounds like exactly what I need," and Piper meant it. Her family never just sat around and hung out with each other, they always seemed to go their separate ways, or to different ends of the house. But not here, these three people in front of her were a real family. You could tell they all loved each other, their life wasn't always easy but they made it work. Piper found herself feeling envious of this picture in front of her. She'd spoken more to Diane in the last few weeks than she had to her mother in the last three months. She was sick of getting the third degree from her mother every time they spoke, asking if Piper has a boyfriend, does she have a real job yet, has she found a better place to live. Piper was sick of it, Diane never gave her the third degree. The first thing Diane always asked when she saw Piper was how she was going, how were things with Alex, how was her day. Piper's mother didn't know about Alex yet, Mrs Chapman certainly wouldn't deal well with that revelation.

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"Lucy, you're totally cheating!" Alex mockingly shouted at her sister.

"No I'm not! You just can't count properly."

"I might not be going to college but I can count. You rolled a three, then moved your piece five spaces to avoid going to jail!" Alex smiled at her sister as she threw a handful of popcorn at her. Lucy just poked her tongue out and the game went on. Alex, Piper and Lucy stayed in the apartment playing Monopoly while Robbie took out Diane to dinner. Alex had made them all grilled cheese sandwiches with milkshakes, and had the Pixies playing in the background as they played games for at least a few hours. A new song starts playing and Lucy immediately jumps to her feet, "hey it's my favourite!" Lucy pulls on Alex's arms until she gets up and dances with her. Lucy just holds onto Alex's hand as she runs around in circles, singing along, _"Cease to resist, giving my goodbye, drive my car into the ocean."_ Lucy ends up dragging Alex down to the floor and sits on top of her, both of them can't stop laughing. "Get off you little shit," in between laughing Alex manages to roll Lucy off her stomach before getting to her feet. Piper loves watching them interact, it just makes her more envious of the bond this family shares. It also makes her want to be a part of it.

"Ok kid, time out," Alex sits down next to Piper, leaning into her side.

"I have to ask, what kind of ten year old knows the Pixies?"

"Hey, I had to get her started on the right track early, none of that boy band crap in this house hold." Alex then gets up to check the time. "Ok Luce, it's nearly 9pm, time for you to go to bed."

"No, I'm not ready," here was the attitude Piper was told to look out for. But Piper did find it pretty funny, watching Alex deal with the same defiance she would have dished out herself as a kid.

"I don't really care if you're not ready, go get ready for bed." Lucy just continued to completely ignore Alex, dancing around the lounge room like she was the only person there.

"Ok, new deal. You go get ready for bed, and I'll take you to the park tomorrow." Lucy looked long and hard at her sister before deciding this was a good deal. Before she went into her room she turned to face Alex, "but remember, you said I could sleep with you tonight."

"Don't worry, I haven't forgotten. I'll be in there later, don't take up the whole bed!" Lucy smiled and went to get ready for bed.

"You know she has you wrapped around her little finger right?"

"Whatever Chapman," Alex rolled her eyes as she pushed Piper down onto the couch as she started kissing her.

"Al, Lucy will be back any minute,"

"Trust me, that kid takes at least 20 minutes to decide what colour pyjamas she should wear."

"Can we at least move into a different room so she won't walk right in on us kissing?" Alex groaned as she pulled Piper off the couch and into kitchen. Alex leaned Piper against the kitchen counter as she continued kissing her, loving the feeling of Piper's hands in her hair. The two were lost in their own little world and didn't notice the front door open. Robbie and Diane walked into the kitchen to see the two kissing, "Pretty sure you can do that in your bedroom Alex," said Diane with a smile. Piper quickly pulled away from Alex, completely embarrassed. "Shit, sorry Diane."

Diane just laughed, "You don't need to apologise Piper." Piper still looked embarrassed, Alex just shrugged her shoulders and turned to make some coffee. Robbie just stood next to Diane with an ice cold look on his face. He was not happy about what he just saw, but he kept his cool in front of Diane.

"Lucy getting ready for bed?"

"Yeah, she should be nearly done," replied Alex while she poured the coffee.

"Great, I'll go say goodnight then," Diane went towards Lucy's bedroom, leaving Alex, Piper and Robbie in the kitchen. Piper's phone started to ring, it was her brother Danny. He worked in the city hospital as an ER doctor. He called her last night to let he know he was driving through to visit their parents and wanted to stop off to see Piper's new place. Alex told her to take the call in her room, coffee and biscuits would be waiting for her when she was done. Robbie just kept standing there, staring at Alex, he slowly walked up behind her as she reached into the cupboard to grab the biscuits she wanted.

"I better not catch you pulling that shit again in this apartment Alex. Do you understand?"

Alex was at the end of a great night, and she was not in the mood to be pushed around, "You know what Robbie, fuck you." She practically spat the words at him, before turning back around to face the cupboard. Robbie grabbed the back of her neck, tight, "I don't think you heard me Alex. Do not pull that shit again."

She could feel his breath on the back of her neck, she knew that tone, she was pushing his buttons on purpose. Alex knew she should just shut up, but she couldn't stop herself from saying more, turning around to face him again before speaking "No, I don't think you heard me. Fuck. You." Alex regretted those words as soon as she said them and saw the change in his face. He grabbed her by the front of her neck this time and squeezed, hard. He pushed her back into the cupboard, one hand still around her neck, the other holding her wrists together. "You always like to do things the hard way." He kept squeezing, but still kept an eye out to make sure he let go before anyone came back into the kitchen. He slowly tightened his grip around her neck and her wrists, Alex tried to fight him off but he was so much stronger than her. Alex couldn't breathe, she started to see a lot of bright dots in front of her, struggling to keep her eyes open. Knowing that he was taking it too far, Robbie let go of Alex's neck and pushed her roughly to the floor. He just stood there, watching her as she desperately tried to suck in air as she lay on the kitchen floor. He leaned down towards her so he could whisper in her ear, "just for that, I might have to start visiting Lucy now as well." Alex felt those words drive through her chest, at that point there was no more hiding anything. She wanted to kill Robbie in that moment and figured she may as well use it to her advantage, push his buttons hard enough to make sure this didn't stay a secret any longer. As Robbie started walking out of the kitchen, Alex reached out and grabbed his leg, pulling as hard as she could. Robbie tripped forward and stared back at her with so much hatred, his expression wasn't rational anymore, but Alex didn't know how else to make sure Diane kicked him out. In Alex's mind, this way she could get him out of the house and maybe into jail so they wouldn't need to deal with him anymore. That was worth any short term pain she suffered.

Robbie stood up quickly and swung his boot towards Alex, catching her in the side of the head. That was it, one quick movement and Alex lost consciousness.

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"Danny it's so great to hear from you!" Piper really missed her older brother, and couldn't wait to see him. He was the only one in the family that knew about Alex, and she was so relieved that he supported her, she could always rely on Danny.

"I know it's getting late Pipes, but how about I swing by now?"

"Yes! I've been thinking about seeing you ever since you said you'd be driving through. I'm at Alex's place, but just give me a call when you're close."

"So I get to meet the famous Alex! The woman that's stolen my little sister's heart."

"Shut up Danny, I'll see you soon." Piper couldn't stop smiling, she couldn't wait to see her brother and introduce him to Alex. Piper put her phone on charge in Alex's room before walking back to the kitchen. Before she got too far, she stopped in her tracks, she couldn't move and she felt her heart sink. Alex was on the kitchen floor, not moving, Robbie standing over her. He grabbed her by the front of her shirt, shaking her like he was trying to wake her up.

"ALEX!" Piper screamed and ran into the kitchen, dropping to her knees in front of Alex.

"What's all the commotion?" Diane walked out of Lucy's room to see what the screaming was about, all she saw was Piper kneeling on the kitchen floor, it sounded like she was crying. Diane couldn't piece this picture together, but she felt the anxiety sneaking up on her. Before she could say anything more, Robbie was walking towards her.

"It's not my fault Diane."

"What the fuck is going on?" Diane pushed past Robbie, and then she saw the whole picture. Piper kneeling over Alex, who wasn't moving. "What the fuck did you do?" Diane screamed at Robbie, but it's like he wasn't there anymore. He just grabbed his car keys and walked out of the apartment. Diane didn't know what to do, didn't know what just happened. Part of her wanted to run after Robbie to find out what happened, but the other half couldn't walk out of that apartment when her daughter was hurt.

"Diane you need to call an ambulance," said Piper through her tears, holding a dish towel to the side of Alex's head. There was so much blood, Diane couldn't believe this was real. "DIANE!" Piper shouted at her this time, jerking her back into reality. "Here, keep holding this to stop the blood." Diane was struggling to speak, but she kneeled down next to Alex and pressed the towel against her head. Tears started to roll down her face, "Ally, what happened?"

Piper was panicking, she didn't know how to deal with this, so she ran back into Alex's room to grab her phone and call Danny. She was only on the phone with him for a few minutes, but she couldn't stop crying. She explained the situation as best as she could, giving him the address and telling him to hurry. "I'm nearly there Piper, just make sure you keep pressure on the head wound and check her breathing. Remember when I taught you that stuff? I know it's scary but just breathe and wait for me."

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Ten minutes later there was a knock at the door, Piper jumped to her feet and opened it, relieved that Danny was finally here. "Where is she?" Piper led him to the kitchen where Diane was still holding the towel to Alex's head. "Diane my brother's here, he can help." Danny knelt down next to Diane and tried to give her a reassuring smile. Danny took the towel from Diane's hands and moved it to get a better look at the wound. "Ok, Diane you did well here to slow down the bleeding. These types of cuts always bleed a lot, it looks worse than it is, all it needs is a few stitches." He then placed his hands around Alex's neck, which was already starting to bruise. "Pulse is good but you can already see this bruising coming out on her neck. We need to get her to the hospital before it swells anymore." While Danny still had his hands on Alex's neck, she started to groan in pain, trying to roll over, struggling to breathe properly. Danny helped her roll onto her side so she could breathe easier, her face strained with every breath. Danny tried to keep her calm by talking her through it, "Hey Alex, it's ok. I'm Piper's brother, Danny. You're doing really well, I know it hurts at the moment, but you need to try and slow your breathing down so you don't lose consciousness again." Very slowly, Alex managed to slow down her breathing, but her neck and head hurt so much, she just couldn't stay awake anymore. Danny grabbed his car keys and threw them to Piper, "It's time to get her to the hospital, are you ok to drive Piper?"

"Yeah," replied Piper in between tears.

 **A/N**

 **Hey,**

 **So keen to hear thoughts on this chapter. How was the pacing? What did you think about the introduction of Danny into the story? I felt like Piper was going to be thrown into an intense situation, and would need someone else there for support. I also felt like perhaps it was unrealistic to have Robbie continue to get away with his behaviour, which is why I had him caught out in this chapter.**

 **It has been so hot here all weekend, and it's just gonna get hotter! Which basically means I'm camping out in front of my air conditioner, using it as a good excuse to write** **J**

 **Cheers.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**

 **As always, let me know your thoughts.**

 **Cheers.**

Chapter 7 – I love you

Piper barely remembers driving to the hospital, the night was all a blur. Except for the part where she had to get Lucy, who had already fallen asleep while waiting for Alex to come to bed, stereo on in the back ground. Knowing Lucy was there, waiting for Alex to come to bed so she could curl up with her, then having to wake her so they could go to the hospital, it broke Piper's heart.

Piper now found herself in the hospital waiting room, stroking Lucy's hair as she lay in Piper's lap. Piper just could not process what was happening, and Lucy was completely inconsolable. Alex was everything to her, Lucy could not stand the thought of someone hurting her sister so much. Diane was pacing the room in front of them, she hadn't said much since Alex was admitted. Danny walked back into the waiting room and handed Diane a coffee, "Thanks Danny." He then handed one to Piper. Piper was really worried about Diane, she had never seen her so quiet. Piper wanted to get her to speak, but at the same time didn't want to push her. As Piper started to drink her coffee, Lucy sat up and looked at Danny, "Piper told me you're a doctor, will my sister be ok?"

Danny knelt down in front of Lucy so he was at her eye level, "She will be ok, but she'll need to stay in the hospital for a while."

"But I can't sleep without her," Lucy looked like she was about to start crying again.

"Let's just wait and see what the doctors say, then we'll know how long they'll let you stay with her tonight."

Then finally, after what felt like an eternity, a doctor walked towards them. "You're here for Alex Vause?"

Diane rushed towards the doctor, "Yes, I'm her mother. How is she?"

"Well, your daughter will need to stay in the hospital for a while, but she'll be ok. She's suffering from a severe concussion and extensive bruising to her neck. She got four stitches to the cut on her head, but that should heal nicely. The damage to her neck is making it hard for her to breathe properly, so we'll need to keep her on oxygen for a while."

"When can we see her?" Lucy was desperate to see Alex.

"She's just woken up, so you can go see her now, but not for too long". Lucy was not satisfied with this answer.

"But I can't sleep without her, please you have to let me stay," Diane could tell from that tone in her voice that she had no chance of getting Lucy to leave the hospital tonight.

"Please, this is Alex's sister, they're very close. Is it at all possible to let us stay in her room tonight?"

"I'll see what I can do, but no promises. She's down this hall in room 22. Also, the pain medicine will make her a little groggy, but that's nothing to worry about. And encourage her to not speak, we need to give those bruised areas a chance to heal." With that, the doctor gave them a small smile before he walked down the hall. Danny stood up, "Why don't you three go to her room, I'll wait here."

"Don't be stupid, come with us, I'm really grateful for what you did for us tonight," Diane then took Lucy by the hand and led her down the hall. Piper and Danny followed close behind, Danny put his arm around Piper, trying to reassure her.

Piper braced herself as they walked into the room and she saw Alex lying there. She had a very swollen black eye and bruises running down the side of her face. Her neck looked horrible, dark blotches covering it. She had an oxygen mask covering her face and an IV in her hand, she was asleep.

Lucy immediately ran over to the bed and rest her head on Alex's arm, holding onto her for dear life. Alex stirred at the touch, she tried to speak but it came out as barely a whisper, she had tears in her eyes and kept her gaze on Diane. Diane put her hand on Alex's shoulder, "It's ok baby, don't try and talk just yet. The doctor said you need to rest up." Diane looked down at her daughter, it felt like she could feel her heart shattering into a million pieces. "I'm so sorry Ally, I should have done something," Diane had tears streaming down her face. Piper came up behind her, pulling the older woman into a hug, "This isn't your fault Diane, don't say things like that." Piper ended the hug and pulled a chair next to the hospital bed for Diane to sit on. Piper walked to the other side of the bed and held Alex's hand. Alex was struggling to keep her eyes open, "It's just the pain medication Pipes, it'll make her pretty tired, she needs to sleep." Danny tried to reassure his sister again. Piper bent down to kiss Alex on the forehead and whisper into her ear, "I love you Alex." She didn't know if Alex could hear her, but she needed to say it. She was trying to keep it together for Diane and Lucy, but in reality all she wanted to do was crawl into a corner and cry. She was so thankful Danny was with her, she didn't know how she would have coped tonight without him.

Diane turned to Lucy, she looked exhausted, "Lucy, why don't you go home with Piper and get some sleep hey?"

"No, no you can't make me leave. I was meant to sleep in Alex's room tonight, you can't make me go home without her!" It killed Diane to see Lucy like this, she bent down to sweep her into a hug. Lucy buried her face in Diane's hair and cried.

"I'll go check with the doctor, they might let you stay with Alex tonight," Danny then walked into the hallway to find someone to speak with, he needed to feel useful. Lucy went back to the edge of the bed and held onto Alex's hand, "I want to stay with you Ally, I'm scared…."

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Danny walked back into the room with a small smile on his face, "Good news Lucy, you're allowed to stay with Alex tonight. Reckon you can sleep on the couch in the corner?" Lucy just nodded at him, but didn't move from Alex's bedside. A nurse then came into the room, she started checking on Alex, which seemed to worry Lucy, "Is she ok?"

"She's doing very well sweetie, she just needs a lot of rest." Lucy just nodded at the nurse before returning her attention to Alex. "Sorry folks, but I'm going to need to ask anyone that's not family to head home for the night. But visiting hours start again at 10 am tomorrow, and she'll also be a bit more awake then."

Diane pulled Piper into a tight hug, "Sorry you can't stay Piper, it's a stupid fucking rule,"

"It's ok Diane, I'll come back in the morning, bring you two some breakfast." She hesitated before she continued, "What about the police?"

Diane sighed, "They'll be back in the morning to speak to Alex, the doctor wouldn't let them see her tonight." Piper just nodded, looking back at Alex, she felt completely lost, unsure about what would happen with the police and how much Alex would tell them. She was soon pulled out of her thoughts when Diane gave her a hug.

"Thank you sweetie, thank you for being there for us tonight." Piper just nodded, said goodbye to Lucy and then left the room with Danny.

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Piper led Danny into her apartment, she felt empty, "Sorry Danny, I just realised I don't even have a bed for you to sleep in."

"Hey, don't be silly, the couch will be perfect."

"How long do you think she'll be in hospital for?"

"I'm not sure, maybe a week or so…..Piper, what happened tonight?"

Piper was struggling to hold back her tears, "I don't even really know." All she did know was that Robbie was responsible, and that she hated him. Piper spent half the night up with Danny, explaining the situation with Robbie as much as she could. She was so tired, but just like Lucy, she felt like she just couldn't sleep without Alex close by.

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Alex could feel the sun light on her face and tried to open her eyes, _"Fuck!"_ she thought to herself, her head was pounding and her neck was stiff. She managed to move her head enough to see her mum asleep in a chair next to her bed and Lucy sleeping on a couch in the corner. She was trying to remember what happened, but the pain in her head and neck made it impossible for her to think straight. She then noticed another body in the room, there was a nurse at the end of her bed writing in her chart, "Hi Alex, I'm Nurse Peters. It's very early in the morning, don't try to speak yet. Looks like the pain woke you up, I can give you a bit more pain relief if it's bad." Alex just nodded at the nurse before she drifted off to sleep again.

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Alex had spent most of the last two days sleeping, waking up occasionally but never for long. Piper spent as much time at the hospital as she could. She had to call the library first thing Sunday morning to let them know what happened. Her boss was supportive and told her to take off as much time as she needed. Lucy refused to go to school on Monday, but on Tuesday Diane managed to convince her to go. Piper felt horrible for that poor kid, Danny tried to reassure her that Alex was ok and just needed to rest, but it had been nearly impossible to get Lucy to leave the hospital.

It was Wednesday morning and Piper sat in the chair next to Alex's bed, gently holding her hand, moving her thumb over the soft skin. Piper was relieved Alex would be ok, but she missed talking to her so much, and she hated seeing her in pain. Just as Piper was about to go get a coffee, she felt Alex squeeze her hand softly, "Alex, baby can you hear me?" Alex opened her eyes slowly and looked at Piper, smiling softly as she nodded in reply. They had taken her off oxygen yesterday as her breathing and oxygen levels had improved. She was still struggling to speak, but the doctor said that would get better as the swelling went down.

"I'm sorry Pipes," Alex managed to get out in a whisper, a few silent tears rolling down her cheeks. Piper leaned over the side of the bed and kissed Alex on the lips.

"You have nothing to apologise for, don't say that. I'm just so glad you're ok."

"If I'd just kept my mouth shut this wouldn't have happened. I didn't mean for it to go this far." Alex couldn't stop feeling horrible about putting her family through this. Piper hated seeing Alex look so broken.

"No Alex, nothing you said or did justifies what he did to you." Alex just tightened her grip on Piper's hand.

"I love you Pipes, but I feel like I don't deserve you right now." Hearing Alex say these words for the first time took Piper by surprise, but she didn't hesitate in her response, "I love you too Al." She leaned over to kiss her girlfriend again, and then gently wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Definitely better, still pretty sore though."

"Your face is looking a lot better today, your eye was so swollen on the weekend."

"Is Danny still around?"

"Yeah, he's staying at my place. He refused to leave after what happened. Honestly, Al, I don't know what I would've done without him these last few days."

"I know, I'm really grateful for everything he's done. What about Lucy and mum?"

Piper sighed, "Lucy took it hard, she's struggling to understand what happened. But she was adamant that she was staying with you. Diane managed to convince her to go to school yesterday." Piper paused for a moment, "Your mum…I'm worried about her Al. She blames herself for everything, and being questioned by the police just made her withdraw even more."

"I need to talk to her."

"You only have to ask if you want me to help, ok?"

"I know, thanks Pipes. So I guess I'll need to speak to the police eventually."

"Yeah, they've been coming around every day but you weren't up to talking, the pain meds really knocked you out. I'll be here the whole time, I won't let you do this alone."

 **0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

Piper spent all of Wednesday with Alex, it felt so good to speak to her again. Piper read to Alex for a while until she fell asleep, and Piper took the opportunity to take a nap on the couch. She woke up late in the afternoon with Lucy nudging her, "Hi Piper."

"Hi Lucy, how was school?"

"Boring. How's Alex today?"

"She's doing a lot better," Lucy smiled at this response and sat down next to Piper.

"How are you?"

"I'm doing a lot better too, it was nice to speak to Alex today." This response seemed to make Lucy happy and she snuggled into Piper's side, trying to get comfortable. Diane then walked into the room.

"Hi sweetie, thought you could use one of these," said Diane as she handed Piper a coffee.

"Thanks Diane."

Alex was still sleeping, but woke up suddenly as she heard her family's voices, gasping as she tried to forget the bad dream she'd just had. Diane quickly stepped over to her daughter's bedside, "You ok Ally?" Diane wiped the sweaty dark hair from her daughter's brow.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine."

"It's so good to see you feeling better, a few more days and you can probably come home."

"Thank god, I hate being stuck in here." Alex then took hold of her mum's hand, just searching for that feeling of reassurance Diane always gave her. Alex felt so bad for putting Diane through this, but she'd need to wait until they were alone to speak to her properly. Lucy jumped off the couch as soon as she saw Alex was awake, "Ally!" she shouted as she practically jumped into the hospital bed.

"Hey Luce." Alex was so relieved to see her sister smiling.

"I missed you so much Ally. Maybe I can stay here with you tomorrow instead of going to school?" Lucy looked at Diane for permission.

"Why don't we just wait and see." Diane was so relieved to see Lucy happy again, she had been devastated since it all happened.

"Why don't you lie with me for a bit, keep me company and you can catch me up on school." Lucy took off her shoes and carefully slid into the bed next to Alex. "It's ok kid, I'm feeling a lot better today, put your head here," said Alex as she tapped her shoulder. Lucy carefully placed her head on Alex's shoulder as she lay on her side and wrapped an arm around Alex. Alex wrapped her own arm around Lucy as they lay next to each other and Lucy started talking her ear off. Diane sat next to Piper on the small couch, "I don't know how I ended up with kids like that, considering I was never around for them."

"Don't say that Diane, this is not your fault. Don't let him win, the police will catch him."

"Of course it's my fault Piper. I brought him into the house, this all happened on my watch. I can never forgive myself for not protecting Alex." Piper didn't know what else to say, but she knew Diane needed help.

 **0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

A few days later Alex was allowed to come home, which was a huge relief but felt weird at the same time. It felt weird standing in the same spot where it all happened not that long ago. But Lucy was a good distraction for everyone, she was determined to take care of Alex, nothing else. Piper had gone back to work and Alex was home with Diane and Lucy. Diane was making them all some lunch while Alex and Lucy sat on the couch watching movies. Lucy felt Alex shiver slightly, she immediately went into her room and came back with a blanket, draping it over Alex, "Thanks kid." Lucy may only be ten years old, but in that moment she seemed so much older. Alex was starting to feel tired, they'd come home from the hospital that morning, it was the longest she had been awake in over a week. Her neck was still sore, but that didn't stop her from placing a pillow in Lucy's lap for her to lay her head on. She was starting to get a headache but was so sick of feeling constantly foggy from the medication, so she decided to try and sleep it off. She fell asleep with her head in Lucy's lap, feeling at ease for the first time since getting home that morning.

Not long after Alex fell asleep, Piper arrived, "Hey Diane."

"Hey sweetie, what are you doing here so early?"

"I decided to do a half day, I wanted to see how you guys were going."

"Well, Lucy has assumed the role of chief care giver. Also seems half the time when you come over they're both asleep on the couch." Diane handed Piper a sandwich, and the two headed into the lounge room. Alex was still asleep on the couch, but surprisingly Lucy was still awake.

Piper sat on the floor next to Lucy, "You look tired Luce, why don't you take a nap too?"

Lucy seemed to seriously contemplate the question before responding, "No, I just…..I just wanna make sure Alex is ok. I wanna look after her so she doesn't go to hospital again."

Diane abruptly got up and went into her room, Piper gave Lucy a smile before following Diane. Piper walked into the room to find Diane leaning her head against the wall, trying to regain some composure. Piper went up to her, placing a hand on the older woman's shoulder, "Everything ok?"

Diane didn't move, "Sometimes I think I'm doing ok and then Lucy says something like that and I just can't take it. That kid is too fucking scared to close her eyes in case something happens to Alex, she shouldn't need to feel like that at her age."

"It's a totally normal reaction Diane, you just need to give Lucy time to settle back into everyday life."

"I know, there's just a lot going on at the moment. Alex and Lucy, hospital bills, fucking rent and utilities. I gotta figure out a way to pay these fucking bills on my own. And to top it all off the fucking police are coming to speak to Alex again tomorrow."

"But didn't they already speak to her at the hospital?"

"Yeah, well apparently they need to talk to her again. I just want her to be ok Piper, I need her to be ok."

"She will be Diane, I know it. Look, you need a proper rest, let me and Danny cook dinner tonight so you can relax. I'll stay here with Alex tonight, you don't need to worry about her, I'll take care of her."

"Thanks Piper, and I know you'll take care of her."

The two women hugged, but Piper didn't know what to think, Diane had a lot to deal with, and she was struggling to cope…..


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 - too hard

Lucy slept in her own bed the first night Alex was home but was glued to Alex's side all evening. Alex kept reassuring her everything was ok, but Lucy was still worried. Piper and Danny were in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner, while Alex lay down in her bedroom. Diane walked into Alex's room, finding her daughter inspecting her face and neck in the mirror, "The bruises will fade away Alex."

"I know."

"We need to talk about what happened, I need to know everything."

Alex sat on her bed, staring at the floor. She knew this was coming, and she knew how much the truth would hurt Diane. Diane sat next to Alex on the bed, "Please Alex, we've always been honest with each other. I feel like you've been shutting me out these last few months, now I think I know why. Please don't shut me out anymore." Alex just keeps staring ahead blankly as she starts talking.

"The only reason I never said anything is because I wanted to protect you and Lucy. I thought I could handle it." Alex took a deep breath before she continued. "Things only got physical after he moved in, I'm sure I didn't help the situation. It was mostly just pushing and shoving, and then it just got out of hand the other night."

"Ok, and what else?"

Alex just kept staring ahead, she didn't know how to tell Diane the whole truth, "the rest doesn't matter." Diane knew her daughter all too well, she knew she'd have to drag the details out of her. But the fact that Alex was so reluctant to tell her only meant one thing, it was worse than Diane had thought. Diane turned to her daughter, cupping her face in her hands, forcing Alex to look her in the eye, "Please Ally, please." Alex's eyes glassed over, she'd never heard that desperation in her mum's voice before. She knew she had to tell her the truth.

"I don't know….the pushing and shoving turned into hitting, I always hid the bruises. I knew how much you loved having the extra time at home with Lucy. I just…." Alex took a moment to compose herself, "I tried to fight back, but that just made it worse. He….he'd put his hands under my shirt, but that's as far as it went.

Diane was fighting back the tears as she spoke again, "Ally, why didn't you tell me?"

These next words were the hardest for Alex, "To protect Lucy, I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to her."

The panic had firmly set in, "He threatened Lucy?"

"Yeah…..I thought, better he did it to me than to her." Diane held her head in her and hands and cried. Alex pulled her into a tight hug, terrified of how Diane would cope. "Please mum, it's not your fault. I should have said something. I just didn't want you to have to work so much anymore or worry about us more than you already do. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I fucked it all up."

 **0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

Piper and Danny were nearly finished with the dishes when Piper noticed Diane leave Alex's room and walk into her own, shutting the door. Alex came back into the kitchen and sat at the table. Danny didn't know Alex well, but it didn't matter, he knew how much she meant to Piper.

"How are your pain levels Alex?"

"I dunno, painful I guess." Alex was not in the mood to talk.

"You can take some more tablets, it'll help you sleep." Alex took the tablets Danny gave her, she welcomed sleep right now. She kept rubbing at the cut on her head, she could feel it throbbing.

"Here, let me have a look at that." Danny gently moved Alex's hair so he could see the stitches, "Just a bit red, they can come out soon though."

"Thanks Danny."

"Anytime," Danny smiled and went back to the dishes.

"How's Diane?" asked Piper as she put a hand on Alex's shoulder.

"Not good. Fuck, I don't know how to fix this."

"Let me talk to her babe."

"Not tonight, just let her process it all."

"Of course babe," Piper leaned in to kiss Alex on the forehead. "You look exhausted, let me take you to bed." Alex just nodded and followed Piper to her room.

 **0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

Alex fell asleep with her arms wrapped tightly around Piper, but even with the extra pain medication she still couldn't sleep through the night. She felt like she couldn't breathe, she was gasping for air, she broke out of Piper's arms and sat straight up in bed, trying to calm down and drenched in sweat. "Shit, Alex. Just breathe with me, come on, just focus on me." Alex closed her eyes, but she was struggling to calm down. "It was only a dream Alex, I'm here ok, he can't hurt you anymore." Slowly, Alex slowed down her breathing, she felt completely drained. "That's it, that's better. Let's change your shirt, this one is soaked through." Piper helped Alex out of her t-shirt and got her a fresh one.

"Thanks Pipes. That was so fucked."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"No, no it's ok…. I love you Pipes." The two girls lay back down, Piper holding onto Alex as she went back to sleep.

 **0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

The police came to the apartment early the next morning to speak with Alex, Piper and Diane were already at work, and Lucy was at school. Danny was probably still asleep in Piper's apartment.

"Thank you for making the time to speak again Alex, we just want to make sure we have all the details."

"No problem." Alex was sick of talking to the police, why couldn't they just catch him?

"We've gone through your records in more detail and understand that you've had previous drug abuse issues."

Alex stiffened at the mention of this, "I guess you could say that."

"Your hospital records show you've previously been admitted for a heroin overdose."

What the fuck did this have to do with Robbie, "Yeah, and?"

"Do you still take heroin?"

"No."

"Were you taking heroin when you were experiencing issues with Robert Green?"

"What are you trying to fucking blame me for what happened?" Alex didn't bother to hold back her anger anymore.

"No of course not, we just need to check all the facts."

"Yeah well now you've checked, you can go."

"Not yet Alex. What about your biological father?"

Alex gritted her teeth, "What about him?"

"From discussions with your mother we understand that you don't have a good relationship with your father, and that Robert Green effectively acted as a step father."

"That asshole wasn't a father figure to anyone. Are you ever gonna actually catch him?"

"I promise you Alex we're doing all we can. Look, that's probably all we need right now, we'll be in touch as the investigation progresses."

"Yeah, whatever." Alex led the police out of the apartment and slammed the door behind them. She had planned for Nicky to come over later in the day, but that was too far away, she needed her now. Alex picked up the phone and dialled her number.

 **0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

"Those fucking asshole cops! They just wanted to make it sounds like it was all my fault, like I had it coming! I'm really fucking angry Nicky!" Nicky had never seen Alex flip out like this, she was worried and didn't know what to do. Alex ran into the kitchen and grabbed a knife from the drawer, sometimes she wished she had the will power to cut herself, just for the distraction, just to feel something else.

"Hey Vause no way!" she took the knife from Alex's grasp. "Now is not the time to lose your shit and stab someone else or yourself. The whole situation is shit Alex, people like us spend our lives getting pushed around."

"And I'm fucking sick of it!"

Nicky was desperate to calm Alex down. Nicky knew that once Alex went over the edge, it was near impossible to pull her back. "I know, I know. Look, let's just take a seat and calm down ok," Nicky pulled a small bag of heroin out of her jacket pocket. "Not trying to be a bad influence, but I know this shit will help you relax. We'll just do a little, we won't get fucked up, just enough to take the edge off. I'll stay with you the whole time."

Alex knew she shouldn't, but right now she was so angry she was afraid of what she might do, she decided Nicky was right, just enough to take the edge off. The two teenagers sat on the lounge room floor, Nicky handed the small bag to Alex. Alex looked at the white powder for a while before tipping a small amount onto her thumb, she then raised her thumb to her nose and inhaled sharply, "Fuck!" She then slouched back against the couch, "See, told you it'll help you relax." Nicky took the bag from Alex and repeated her actions. The two just sat there for a while, letting the high set in.

"What if I kill him?"

"What, what the fuck are you talking about Vause? No, you're not killing anyone." Nicky knew from previous experience that Alex said a lot of crazy stuff when she was high, but this comment still scared her, even though she didn't believe Alex was capable of killing someone.

"But what if I did? Then I'd know he could never hurt us again, the fucking cops sure as hell aren't gonna catch him."

"Seriously Alex, you're fucking nuts if you think that's a good idea." Nicky handed Alex the small bag again, and this time Alex didn't hesitate in snorting more.

Towards the end of the afternoon the two friends were still on the lounge room floor, Nicky needed to head home to meet Lorna for dinner.

"Yo, Vause! I gotta go, you ok?" Nicky slowly pulled herself off the floor.

Alex knew she'd taken too much, not enough to overdose, but enough that she wouldn't be able to hide the fact she was high from Diane or Piper.

"I'm fine Nick, call me tomorrow?"

"You know it, love you Vause" Nicky then left the apartment, Alex still sitting on the floor.

Fuck, she thought to herself, I'm so fucked.

 **0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

Piper finished her shift at 4pm, then picked up Diane from work. Lucy was going to a friend's house after school to work on a group project, Piper had arranged to pick her up later in the night. Piper and Diane walked into the apartment, Diane went to make some tea and Piper walked into the lounge to find Alex sitting on the floor. "Hey Al, did Nicky come round?" Alex had been nodding off since Nicky left, but tried to keep her eyes open in front of Piper, "Yeah, she left not long ago."

"You want some tea?" Piper kissed the top of Alex's head.

"Sounds good," Alex smiled, praying Piper wouldn't say anything. A few minutes later, Diane brought Alex a cup of tea, placing it on the coffee table. Alex was still sitting on the floor with her eyes closed. All she wanted to do was fall apart, let life win. She was sick of life feeling so hard all the time, why did everything have to always be so hard for her? All she wanted was some peace, but she could never quite get there. But Piper, Piper gave her peace, and love. Piper didn't judge her, she was only ever kind. Alex got so frustrated with herself, there were always those moments where she lost all self control, just couldn't see past the fog in her own mind, and then regretted her actions after the fog lifted. After all, what is the prize for surviving? The chance of being happy? Sometimes that prize felt too good to be true. She'd gotten so comfortable in her own sadness, it was scary to let go.

"Sweetie, you ok?" Diane kneeled down in front of Alex and tried to wake her up. Alex slowly opened her eyes, and panic set in when she saw Diane in front of her, "so did Nicky hang out with you today?" Alex started nodding off again, before managing to stop herself and answer Diane.

"Ummm, yeah, yeah….we hung out."

Diane looked at her daughter, she could remember one other time she had seen Alex like this. It was two years ago when Alex had managed to find her father, she had arranged to meet him, and the image she had built in her own mind was destroyed by the reality of who her father was. After that meeting Diane found Alex sitting in her car in front of the apartment building, nodding off, not registering anything that was happening. That moment had broken Diane's heart, she felt like a failure as a mother. She was now faced with the same situation. She had failed to protect Alex, and now that failure led to a whole new range of consequences. She knew there was no point yelling at Alex right now, but she needed to get through to her daughter.

"What did you take?"

"….What?"

"The drugs Alex, what drugs did you take?" Piper overheard this conversation from the kitchen and quickly stepped into the lounge, "What's going on?" Piper was scared, she loved Alex so much, but some days she was still so closed off.

"Pipes…I…I just needed to sleep, just to sleep."

Diane knew she had to tread carefully, "tell me Ally, what did you take?"

Alex was determined not to cry, she had cried so much lately and she was sick of it, she felt so weak. What happened to her strong self? She wanted that person back.

"Heroin…. but no needles."

"What the fuck Alex!" Piper couldn't hold back anymore, "You just got out of the fucking hospital, what were you thinking?" Alex didn't respond, the truth was that she wasn't thinking, thinking was the whole problem. She just wanted her mind to stop thinking, she had fucked everything up so badly. She was tired of thinking…

"You can't just go around doing whatever the fuck you want! I fucking love you! And I won't just sit here and watch you destroy yourself. You don't get to give up just because it feels too hard Alex!" Piper knelt down in front of Alex. It would be so easy to leave the apartment right now, but instead she wanted Alex to look her in the eye, "It's time to make a choice Alex, it's not just about you. What about me, your mum, and Lucy?"

"I just wanted to sleep….. without nightmares Pipes."

"And heroin isn't the answer to that. You don't get to do this to me, or your family."

"The fucking cops, they think I'm the bad guy….everything just feels too hard right now Pipes."

Diane knew this was a part of Alex's history that Piper didn't know about, "Piper, come with me for a second." Piper hesitated but then followed Diane into her bedroom.

"I'm not going to just excuse this sort of thing Diane, this is not ok!"

"I know sweetie, I know. But you need to understand, this isn't the first time." Piper knew Alex smoked pot, but she didn't know she'd taken heroin before.

"She overdosed a couple years ago, after she met her real dad. He broke her heart, she took too much and ended up in the hospital."

"Shit, I had no idea. But still, this is not ok."

"I know it's not ok Piper, and I know you're just acting out of love, but there's no point in yelling at her about this. You won't get through to her that way, deep down you know that."

Diane sat with Piper for another 10 minutes, explaining how badly Alex had reacted to meeting her father, and how she had overdosed. Alex never really seemed to recover from that moment, which made Diane feel even worse about what happened with Robbie. All she wanted was for Alex to have a positive male role model in her life. The two women walked back into the lounge to see Alex had nodded off again.

"She's just gotta sleep it off Piper. You go pick up Lucy, I'll stay with Alex."

 **0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

Piper knew the drugs would have come from Nicky. She knew Nicky and Alex grew up together and were best friends, but she didn't want to be constantly worrying about Nicky getting Alex high. Piper had only been to Nicky's apartment once, but she managed to remember the address. She walked into the building, feeling nervous but determined at the same time. She knocked on Nicky's front door, no turning back now.

"Hey blondie, you sick of Vause already?"

"Why did you give Alex heroin?" Piper needed to get straight to the point.

Nicky was taken aback, this was something Piper would never understand. "Look, Piper, she was losing her mind this afternoon. She needed to calm down, so I helped her." Nicky knew Alex had snorted more than she had, but she didn't believe it was enough to be dangerous.

"You're meant to be her best friend. You need to promise me that you'll keep the drugs away from her." Piper didn't know how Nicky would react to this.

"Look, you've been on the scene for what, less than six months? I've known Alex for ten years, I know her, probably better than she knows herself. And trust me, this afternoon, she needed it."

"She's never going to get better if she keeps falling back on drugs when things get hard!" Piper was starting to lose her temper.

"Hey, you have no idea blondie! You grew up in a different world, probably never had to worry about anything. Well you know what, me and Alex didn't grow up with that luxury! We grew up in a world where we were always on the bottom of the pile, where we had to struggle for everything. And you know what, we got through it together, and we still do. She's not a fucking drug addict, she just needed a moment of feeling something other than fucking darkness. Don't get me wrong, I think you're good for Alex, but don't treat her like a child."

Piper could understand that Nicky was just trying to help her friend, but she would not let Alex fall into a cycle of drug use. "Just keep the hard drugs away ok, I want her to get better Nicky. She has so much good inside her, I want to see her be happy."

"I know you care about her Chapman, and I'll always look out for her. But I'm not gonna tell her what to do. She's an adult."

"She's fucking 19 years old Nicky!"

"And what, you're fucking three years older, what's the fucking difference! You might think you're the grown up and Alex is the child that needs to be looked after, but trust me, that's not how it is. Alex has been looking after herself for a long time."

"I don't think she's a child. When I'm with her, I don't want anything else, she's enough for me. But I want her to be happy Nicky, I know I can help her get better."

Nicky just looked at Piper, "I get what you're trying to say Chapman, just don't treat her like she's a fucking idiot."

 **0-0-0-0-0-0**

Piper and Lucy returned to the apartment, Lucy was tired and seemed ready for an early night. Diane and Alex were sitting on the couch, Alex slumped against her mother's side. Lucy went to have a shower and get ready for dinner, while Piper went into the lounge, "I spoke to Nicky," Diane just sighed.

"Alex and Nicky have always relied on each other Piper, they're like sisters."

Alex woke up as her mum was speaking, "You don't need to get angry at Nicky Piper. Just, come with me." Alex dragged herself off the couch and led Piper to her bedroom. Alex closed the door behind them and pushed Piper up against the wall, looking at her with a fierce desire in her eyes.

"I'm not having sex with you while you're high Alex."

"Why not? You're so gorgeous, just let me love you, let me make you come." Alex kissed Piper roughly, but Piper pushed her away.

"Stop it! We are not fucking just so you can avoid talking about what happened today."

"Fuck, what does it matter Piper? Would you rather I took drugs this afternoon or threw myself out the fucking window?"

"I'd rather you talked to me Alex! I'd rather you picked up the phone and called me, talked to me, instead of sitting here getting high. This isn't like smoking pot or having a drink Alex, this is something that could kill you. It almost did once before."

Alex just laughed quietly, "She told you about that huh,"

"Yeah, she told me. She also said that was the only other time it happened. She doesn't know how to get through to you right now Alex. Why are you pushing us away?"

Alex just slumped to the floor and sighed, she didn't want to fight with Piper, "Everything in my life is fucked. I'm afraid, that…..that if I rely on you that much, this will get fucked up too."

Piper sat on the floor next to Alex, "Look at me, that won't happen. The only thing that will fuck this up is you not being honest with me." With that Piper leaned into Alex and kissed her, running her hands through the long dark hair. Alex kissed her back, her hands on Piper's cheeks, before pulling away, "Ok, I'll try."

 **A/N**

 **Hey folks,**

 **Thanks again for the reviews etc, helps me to know if I'm on the right track. I had a bit of trouble writing this chapter, mainly because I had a lot of ideas and couldn't decide which ones to use. I don't intend on making Alex a drug addict, but I wanted to address this side of her personality, especially exploring how it might materialise when she's 19.**

 **I still have a lot of ideas of where to take this, so keen to hear your thoughts on what you think is working and what's not working. Anything in the story so far you feel particularly strongly about.**

 **Cheers.**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 – the Chapmans

Piper was writhing under Alex as the brunette kissed her harder and harder, biting her bottom lip as she curled her fingers inside her. But Piper wasn't ready to come yet, she wanted Alex to come with her. She lifted her hand to stroke her girlfriend's core, trying to speak in between her laboured breaths, "Alex, please. Come with me." Alex didn't hesitate in lowering her hips so Piper could properly reach her. "Mmmm Al, I've missed this, I've missed you."

Alex kept her eyes trained deeply on Piper's, never stopping her movements, "I've missed this too Pipes." Alex wasn't ready for this to end yet. She removed her fingers from inside Piper and started rubbing circles around her clit, eventually finding the spot that would push Piper over the edge, "Agghh, Alex, fuck." Alex started making her movements faster and harder, but Piper was still determined for Alex to come with her. The blonde composed herself enough to pull Alex closer to her, and start fucking her, "Shit, Piper." Alex started breathing heavily as Piper took her closer to the edge, "You're so wet Alex." Those words in Alex's ear made her entire body tingle, and as the two girls continued exploring each other, they pushed each other over the edge. They had intentionally gone to Piper's apartment, so they didn't need to worry about making noise. They both slowly brought each other down, and Alex let her body rest on top of Piper's as she tried to catch her breath.

"Fuck, that was amazing Piper," and Alex couldn't stop herself from crashing her lips into Pipers, she just could not keep her hands off this woman. She would gladly spend the rest of the night making her come again and again. "Mmmmhh, Alex, I need to get ready."

"You are getting ready," Alex slid her hand over Piper's breasts and started rubbing them and moving her hips against Piper. "I'm not done with you Piper."

"Al…we. I need, to get ready." Piper slowed down the kissing and smiled at her girlfriend. "Trust me Alex, I would much rather be here than playing host to my parents. Come on, I'll make it worth your while."

Alex just smiled, "that is not fair." It had been a month since Alex was released from the hospital and she was mostly healed. She was starting to feel like herself again, she was making a real effort to open up to Piper more. It wasn't easy, but Alex was willing to try.

Alex walked back into her own apartment, she was looking after Lucy tonight while Diane worked. The police still hadn't caught Robbie, Alex couldn't imagine where the hell he was hiding, she tried not to think about it. Things had gotten better between her and Diane, Alex told her every day that she loved her. They were having trouble with the bills, but at least this time Diane was letting Alex help with the money, there was no choice these days. Alex had gone back to work two weeks ago, she was thankful for the extra distraction from worrying about Robbie. Her and Piper had decided they wouldn't say anything yet to Piper's parents about their relationship. Alex felt like Piper was hiding her, but at the same time didn't want to push too hard. Alex had put Piper through a lot in the last few months, she wanted to support Piper in her decisions.

"Ally, where's the mail? I'm waiting for an invite to Becky's birthday."

"Shit, forgot about the mail. You can go get it kid," said Alex as she tossed Lucy the keys to their mail box. Lucy was excited to see if she'd gotten her invite yet and practically ran out the front door and into the hallway. In the process, she managed to run straight into an older couple in the hallway.

"Crap, sorry!" said Lucy. She looked up at the people she had run into, an older man and woman.

"That's ok," the older man sounded kind.

"I've never seen you in the building before."

"Oh, well we're here for the first time to visit our daughter, Piper."

"Oh I know Piper, she's my sisters girlfriend," Lucy found it hilarious that she'd run into Piper's parents.

"Sorry sweetie I think you must be getting confused." The older man gave her a sympathetic smile, like she had made a simple mistake.

"No, I'm not. Piper lives in 3B, and she's definitely my sister's girlfriend." At this point Lucy saw Piper's apartment door open, "I thought I heard voices out here, hi guys," Piper smiled as she saw her parents. She started walking towards them when she noticed Lucy, and her heart skipped a beat. Shit, shit, shit! She wasn't expecting Lucy to run into her parents, and by the looks on their faces, they were shocked about something. Carol Chapman was the first to speak. "Hello Piper," Lucy then ran over to Piper and gave her a hug, "So you do know this young lady?" Carol's voice was very uncertain.

"Yeah, she's a neighbour."

"I told them you're Alex's girlfriend," Piper felt like her heart stopped beating. At this exact moment Alex stepped into the hallway.

"Seriously Luce, how long does it take to get the mail?" Alex then noticed the small gathering in the hallway. She looked over at Piper whose face had turned white.

"This is Alex," Lucy smiled as she provided introductions.

Oh fuck, thought Alex, this is gonna be a long night.

 **0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

"What is wrong with you Piper! We raised you to be better than this. We indulged you with this little move of independence, and find you running around with someone like that!" Piper just sat there while her mother berated her, her father also sat there, motionless.

"I love her mum," Piper didn't have the energy to fight, but she also knew there was no way she could go back home after this.

"Don't be ridiculous Piper, you could be anything you want, have anyone you want. I don't need any more information to know that girl will never amount to anything, she'll never be able to take care of you."

"I don't need someone to take care of me mum! We take care of each other, that's all that matters."

Her mother just scoffed, "I really think you need to come back home, what you're doing here isn't healthy."

"You're not listening to me! Alex is my girlfriend, I'm in love with her. I'm not going back to Connecticut with you so you can lock me away and get me to marry someone you deem to be good enough. Alex is a good person, you don't even know her, you saw her for thirty seconds before coming into my apartment."

Bill finally spoke up, "Listen Piper, this isn't how we expected to find you. Have you even found a proper job yet?"

"You know I work at the library Dad, it gives me more time to write."

Bill just sighed and turned to his wife, "I think we should go." With that, Bill and Carol left the apartment.

 **0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

It was late, but Piper needed to talk to someone, she let herself into the Vause apartment. She walked in and found Diane sitting at the kitchen table, "Hi sweetie, come sit with me." Piper sat next to Diane, her eyes red from crying. "What's wrong Piper?" Diane shuffled closer to Piper and put her arm around the younger woman. This is it, Piper thought, this is what it feels like to have a real mother, a mother that really loves you. Piper put her head on Diane's shoulder and started crying. "Oh sweetie, come on, tell me what's going on. Did you have a fight with Alex?"

Piper couldn't stop the tears, "No, things are good with Alex."

"Then what is it? You can tell me anything Piper." This just made Piper cry more.

"Where's Alex?"

"She's in bed with Lucy, they were both asleep when I got home. So come on, talk to me."

"My parents came to visit tonight, they found out about me and Alex. We fought, and they left."

"Oh Piper, I'm sorry, come here, shhh. You know, no matter what, you'll always have a place here with us. And not just with Alex, with me too. You can always come to me Piper."

"Thank you Diane." Piper held onto Diane like she was her real mother.

"You want me to get Alex?"

"No, I don't want to wake her up. Alex and Lucy need their alone time together."

"Well, you know you're welcome to stay."

"I know." Piper paused for a moment, but she needed to say this, "Alex means a lot to me, but my mum doesn't even care. She doesn't care that I'm happy, she's only disappointed. But it's not like that with you. No matter what Alex might have done in the past, you never turn her away."

"No, I don't, and I never will. Trust me, Alex has been a handful over the years, but she's mine. I got pregnant at 18 Piper, my parents kicked me out when I told them. Alex never knew them. I never had a lot to give Alex, or Lucy, but I promised that I would never treat them the way my parents treated me. And to be honest, when I look at Alex, I see myself at her age. And I see her dad, that dark side of hers, that anger, that's all her dad. Dangerous combination." Diane smiled, but there was a sadness in her eyes. "I let her down, but I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to her."

"You didn't let her down Diane, Alex doesn't think that."

Diane didn't say anything to this, but did ask a question, "Is she still having dreams?"

"Yeah, but she's getting better."

Diane smiled, got up, kissed Piper on the forehead and headed to bed.

Piper didn't want to spend the night alone. She took a blanket from the couch and headed into Alex's room. Sure enough, Lucy and Alex were asleep, Piper never got tired of seeing the relationship between the two sisters. Alex was on her back, one hand resting above her head, the other pulling Lucy into her. Lucy slept with her head on Alex's chest, with one arm wrapped around her. Piper loved this side of Alex, the soft side that she tried to hide, the side Lucy always brought out in her. Alex put herself through hell to protect Lucy, she would always try to make her happy. Alex may not come from the type of family Piper's parents wanted to see their daughter with. Alex might never be able to buy Piper the biggest house, or the best car. But Alex would always protect Piper, and always love her. Piper placed the blanket on the floor next to Alex's bed, took a spare pillow from the floor, and drifted off to sleep.

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Piper woke up the next morning with Lucy lying next to her on the blanket. "I'm sorry Piper, I didn't know your parents would get angry about you and Alex."

"It's not your fault Lucy, they needed to know."

"Why don't they like Alex?" Piper hated this question, Lucy had grown up in a home where she couldn't understand why someone would get so mad about something like that.

"It's hard to explain Lucy."

"Ok. Well, maybe we can talk about it later." Lucy gave Piper a quick hug before leaving the room. Piper got off the floor and slipped into the bed next to Alex, who was still sleeping. It felt so good to look at her and not see those horrible bruises anymore. All that was left was a small scar hidden by her hair. But the nightmares were still there. Piper was proud of how hard Alex was trying, she hadn't turned back to heroin, and had opened up more to Piper. It felt good, Alex had no idea how much good was in her, how special she was. Piper felt incredibly lucky because she got to see it every day. She snuggled under the blankets and drifted back to sleep.

Later that morning Alex had another nightmare, but this one was worse than all the others. She was being held tightly to the ground, she couldn't move. Robbie was on top of her, holding her down. He moved his hands down to her jeans, trying to pull them down. Alex tried to scream but nothing came out. Fuck, this couldn't be happening. Alex was then jerked out of her dream, waking up to Piper gently shaking her shoulder to wake her, "Baby it's ok, you were having a dream." Piper stroked Alex's cheek to calm her down. This wasn't like a bruise that would heal, Robbie had left deep scars in Alex's mind, scar's that Piper was afraid would never heal. Piper brushed the damp hair from Alex's eyes and kissed her gently. "I'm here Alex, are you ok?" Alex tried to steel herself, but she felt the tears in her eyes, "No, I don't think I'm ok."

"Talk to me Alex." Alex hated talking about her dreams, but Piper could tell this one was different from the others. Alex felt ridiculous, it was just a dream, but she couldn't shake that fear she felt, it was so real. She buried her face in Piper's chest. "He….he was trying to rape me."

"It's ok babe, it was just a dream. I will never let him touch you again Alex, never."

"He's still out there Piper."

"And it doesn't matter, I will never let him hurt you again Alex." The two girls lay tangled in each other until Alex felt better.

"So how did it end with the folks last night?"

"Not good, I don't think they'll be making a return visit anytime soon. I spoke to Diane about it last night. You're so lucky Al, you're lucky to have a mum that loves you no matter what. My mum's main concern is keeping up the façade for every asshole at the country club." Alex hugged Piper, "You've always got us babe. And don't forget about Danny, he's nothing like your parents." Danny had gone back home two weeks ago, and Piper already missed him. She felt like he was the only one in the family that really loved her. He had promised to come back for a visit soon, but it wouldn't be soon enough for Piper.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 – date night and dreams**

It was a Saturday afternoon and Alex decided to surprise Piper at the end of her shift at the library. Alex saw Piper putting books back onto shelves, walked up behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist, "Hey Pipes," Alex was all smiles today. It had been a rough couple of months and she decided to treat Piper to a proper date night.

"Hey Al," Piper turned around to kiss Alex hello, "what are you doing here?"

"Well, I decided that we could use some fun. So I'm taking you out tonight, just you and me."

Piper couldn't help the huge smile from spreading across her face, "Alex that's so sweet. Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise, but I'm pretty sure you'll like it. So come on, let's go."

"Ok, are we going home first?"

"Nope, I've got everything you need right here," said Alex as she pointed to her large backpack. "But first, I thought you might want to change your clothes," Alex pulled jeans and a plain white v neck from the backpack.

"I have to say, this is probably the most organised I've ever seen you!"

"Don't get too used to it, go change already." Piper rushed off to change out of her uniform and then walked back to her car with Alex. Alex insisted on taking the car keys and driving Piper to their destination. Alex drove them to the parklands that weren't too far from their apartment block, and got out of the car. "Alex, what the hell are we doing here?"

"You'll see." Then as they walked towards the middle of the park, Piper realised what they were doing. The weather had just started to warm up again, which meant the outdoor cinema sessions were starting up for the summer months.

"Hey, how did you know I love moonlight cinema!"

"I took a stab in the dark." Alex couldn't keep the smirk off her face at this point, she loved seeing Piper happy and excited. Alex walked them to the entrance, got their tickets, and let Piper pick where she wanted to sit. Alex then unzipped her backpack and pulled out a picnic rug, which she set out for them. She then pulled out a bottle of water, a bottle of orange juice, and a variety of nibbles for them to share. She set them all out on the rug before inviting Piper to sit down.

"Al, this so sweet, I love it." Alex sat down behind Piper, getting Piper to sit between her long legs and lean against her. Piper leaned back to kiss Alex on the lips, "this is literally perfect Alex." The two girls sat like this while they waited for the sun to go down and the movie to start. They just sat there enjoying their food and drinks as they talked about the most random things. When the movie finally started Alex pulled Piper closer into her, wrapping her arms around the older woman.

As the final credits started to roll, Piper groaned, "Mmmhh, I really don't want to get up."

"So don't, we are in a public park, we can stay here as long as we like." The two girls sat there as the other movie goers all left. Alex noticed Piper starting to shiver, "Here, I never ended up using my jacket." Alex handed Piper her hoodie, which she immediately slipped on. She then resumed her previous position, lying into Alex. They sat there for the next hour, occasionally speaking but sitting in silence for the most part. They would occasionally kiss, but above all, Piper loved sitting in Alex's arms, feeling her hands run through Piper's hair. "Ok kid, I think it's home time, you're just about falling asleep." Alex pulled Piper up, and packed their things into the backpack. Alex took Piper's hand and led her back to the car.

"Thank you for tonight Alex, it was perfect." Alex just smiled at Piper as she drove them home. They arrived home around midnight, Piper went to have a shower at her apartment before going back to Alex's to sleep. Alex sat in the kitchen as she waited for Piper, drinking the last of their juice and reading an old newspaper Diane had left on the table. Alex heard a door opening and looked up to see Diane walking towards her, "Hey Alex, how was date night?" Diane sat down next to her daughter.

"It was great, like, really great." Diane just smiled at this. "I'm completely in love with her mum, I've never felt like this before."

"Alex, anyone can tell you two are crazy for each other. And I love having her around, she's a good person, and I can see how good she's been for you."

"Yeah, but I'm so afraid of fucking it up."

"You won't fuck this up Ally. And when you do make a mistake, all you need to do is talk to her about it. Both of you will make plenty of mistakes, trust me."

"I'm sure we will. But sometimes I worry that one day she'll wake up and wonder what the fuck she's doing with someone like me."

"Don't put yourself down like that, you are an amazing person Alex, that's all Piper cares about. And you treat her well. I've seen the change in you since you two have been together."

"Her parents aren't exactly thrilled about us being together."

"Fuck her parents, Piper is nothing like them. I'd love to know how two assholes like that managed to raise two kids like Piper and her brother. Piper loves you Alex, and who knows, maybe her parents will come around one day."

"I doubt it mum."

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Alex had a long shift the next day, the longest she'd had since getting out of hospital. She was getting tired, but she knew how much they needed the money now that they were solely relying on Diane's income again. Alex finished her shift at 10 pm after the dinner rush was over, at least it was a good night for tips. She left the café and started walking towards her bus stop. She barely walked one block before a person walked up to her from behind and grabber her arm. Alex was feeling jumpy with Robbie still on the loose, and quickly turned around in anger, "Let go of my fucking arm!" as she looked into the strangers face. It was a girl, maybe a few years older than Alex, but shorter and with shoulder length light brown hair.

"S s sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to make sure I caught you."

Alex looked the girl up and down, uncertainty in her eyes, "And why the hell did you want to catch me?"

"You're Alex, right?"

"Yeah, and you are?"

"My name is Emily. I'm, ummm….I"m Robbie's daughter." As soon as Alex heard those words her brain went into overdrive and she could feel her heart raging in her chest.

"How the fuck do you know who I am?"

"Look, it's kind of a long story, but I really need to talk to you. Can we go get a drink and talk? I promise I'll explain everything."

"Why, so you can put me in the hospital just like your dad?" Alex was not comfortable with this situation, she did not want to be near anyone that had any connection to that asshole.

"No, I'm sorry, it's not like that, I just really need to talk to you. He's not with me, I don't know where he is. I promise I'm not like him, just please, give me ten minutes."

Alex looked down the street, there were still plenty of people around. She figured she'd be safe so long as they stayed in a public place, "fine, let's go across the street for a drink, you've got ten minutes, and it's your shout." Emily looked relieved, and followed Alex across the street. They walked into the bar, Emily bought them a couple of beers, and they sat down at a booth near the door. Alex sipped her beer as she looked Emily in the eye, "Ok, so what do you want?"

Emily started very slowly, looking extremely nervous, "Like I said, Robbie is my dad, but I haven't seen him in a long time. He left me and my mum when I was still a kid." Alex just kept staring at her, saying nothing. "I haven't heard from him in years, but my mum still hears from him every now and then."

"Why does he contact your mum and not you?"

"We don't exactly get along." Said Emily as she kept her eyes trained on the table.

"I know the feeling…"

"So, my mum called me about a week ago. She said she'd heard from my dad and he was asking her for money, which she doesn't have much of. Anyway, he wouldn't tell her much, just that he'd left his girlfriend and wanted a fresh start." Alex noticed that Emily was constantly ripping up the serviette on the table, she was clearly very nervous. "Given our history with him, it kinda worried my mum. She kept asking him what happened but he wouldn't talk. All he'd say was that he'd met the love of his life at some restaurant and now it was all over." Emily took a long sip of her beer before continuing. "So, like I said, my mum was worried, so she went to the restaurant he mentioned and asked around about him. She met a woman that said she knew him, but didn't see him anymore, she said her name was Diane. I'm not sure how much they spoke, my mum's not so good with the details these days."

This story was not sitting well with Alex, she was feeling extremely uncomfortable, "and so how the fuck do you know who I am?"

Emily stuttered slightly before she managed to speak again, "I knew my mum wasn't giving me all the details, so I went to the restaurant last week and asked around about Diane. One of the waitresses said that she had a daughter who worked nearby at Orange, and that if I couldn't catch Diane I could probably catch you. So yeah, tonight I went to Orange and asked someone who Alex was, they pointed to you."

Alex wasn't sure what to think, this all sounded crazy, "And what exactly did you mean before about your history with him?"

Emily immediately looked uncomfortable, "We…..we never really got along. The older I got, the more he seemed to hate me."

"So what do you want with me?"

"I….I know I didn't get the whole story from my mum, but I can guess that something bad happened. And I just wanted to say that whatever happened, just be glad he's left. Don't try and chase him down, or try to drag him through the legal system. J j just be happy he's gone. If he's afraid of getting into trouble with the police, he won't be back."

Alex was struggling to process what Emily was saying, and started subconsciously rubbing her neck where the bruises used to be.

"L L looks like you didn't get along with him either."

Alex just shook her head, "he was a fucking asshole, I spent a week in the hospital because of him."

Emily looked genuinely sad, "I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. Maybe we could meet up again, talk more about this stuff?" Alex wasn't sure if this was a good idea, but something was telling her she needed to get more information from this girl.

"Y y yeah, that would be nice." The girls exchanged mobile numbers before they finished their drinks. Emily left the bar, but Alex stayed behind. Her unexpected conversation with Emily left her confused and uncomfortable, she needed to talk to Piper, she knew it was late but called her anyway, no way was she catching the bus home after that. Piper finally answered, she sounded half asleep, "What's going on Al?"

"Sorry, I know it's late, but could you pick me up from work? I really need to talk to you."

Piper sounded worried, "are you ok?"

"Yeah, it's just, something really fucking weird happened tonight. I…I didn't want to be alone."

"Ok, you stay put, I'll be there soon." Alex waited for Piper outside her work, it still felt so weird, how the hell did Robbie have his own kid? Why did he never see her? Why did Diane keep this a secret?

Piper arrived 20 minutes later, "Thanks Pipes," Alex leaned over to kiss her girlfriend, who looked worried, "I was worried Alex, are you sure everything is ok?"

"I don't even know how to answer that question Piper, tonight was pretty fucked up." On the way home Alex explained the whole situation to Piper, how Emily found her and how Diane had spoken to Emily's mum. Piper didn't know what to say, "Holy shit, wow."

"I know! But why didn't my mum say anything to me? She never keeps secrets like that."

"Al, she would've done it to protect you. She's been really worried about you lately, all she wants to do is take care of you."

This just made Alex feel guilty, "I know, but I feel like I have to tell her about tonight. This whole thing just doesn't feel right. What the fuck has he done in the past if these people have tracked us down to basically warn us? Tell us to let it go, just be happy he's gone. And he hasn't had anything to do with Emily in years, that's fucking weird."

"Just promise me you'll be careful ok, there's obviously a lot we don't know. We already know he's dangerous."

"Don't worry Pipes, I'll be careful. Stay with me tonight?"

Piper smiled, she loved it when Alex asked her to sleep over, as though there was a chance she'd say no. Piper never felt more at peace than when she was in bed with Alex, skin against skin, arms around each other, complete vulnerability and comfort. It was past midnight when they walked into the apartment. Diane must have already been in bed, but they found Lucy asleep on the couch. Alex leaned down and whispered to her sister, "hey Luce, time for bed." Lucy just groaned in response. Alex put her arms around Lucy to pull her up from the couch, Lucy instinctively put her arms around Alex's neck as she carried her to bed. Piper followed Alex as she took Lucy into her own room. Alex placed her sister in her bed and pulled the covers over her, "Night Luce," said Alex as she kissed her goodnight. Piper stood at the door smiling, "What are you smiling at Chapman?"

"Nothing, just thinking about how there are probably only two other people in the world that get to see that side of you." The two girls went to Alex's bedroom and got ready for bed, "which t-shirt would you like tonight?" She loved it when Piper wore her t-shirts to bed, they would always end up smelling like her.

"Hmmm, I will take…the Pixies actually, it's become a sentimental favourite." The two girls then curled up in bed together. Alex wrapped her arms around Piper from behind and fell asleep.

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The next morning Alex and Diane were eating breakfast together while Piper and Lucy slept. Lucy snuck into Alex's room and noticed it was Piper in the bed, still sleeping. Lucy didn't want to be alone so she climbed in next to Piper, she trusted her. Piper stirred and noticed there was another body in the bed, but it was way too small to be Alex. Piper smiled when she saw Lucy next to her, it made her feel good to know Lucy felt this close to her.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Alex was trying to work up the courage to tell Diane about her encounter with Emily. "I know there's something you're not telling me," subtlety was never Alex's strong point.

"What are you talking about Alex? Just say what you really mean." Diane liked to have the facts out on the table, she didn't want to spend the next hour trying to decipher the situation.

"I'm talking about Robbie's ex and his daughter." Alex maintained eye contact with Diane, who just looked sad, almost defeated.

"I wasn't trying to keep secrets Alex, you've just been through a lot lately. And you've been doing so much better these last couple weeks, I didn't want you to worry."

Alex didn't have the heart to be mad at Diane over this, "I know mum, but we need to talk about it now. His daughter, Emily, I ran into her last night."

Diane now just looked worried again, "what did she say?"

"Basically to be glad Robbie is gone and don't bother trying to land him in jail. Mum, what the hell is going on?"

Diane sighed before she started speaking, "His ex, Maria, she….she just didn't want to see him hurt anyone else. It's just like Emily told you, he has an abusive history, and it's highly likely he'll stay away from us, he doesn't want to go to jail." Alex and Diane just looked at each other for what felt like forever.

"It just made me feel like a fucking fool Alex. He's done this before, and I didn't see it in him. I didn't see it when he was doing it to you, in my own fucking house."

"That was my fault too mum, I hid everything from you. Have you seen her again?"

Diane wiped a tear from her eye, "No, just that once." Alex felt the anxiety rising in her chest, but she was determined to not let Diane see it. She was determined to hold it together for Diane, she was determined to find out what Robbie had done to Emily.

 **0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

That same night, Piper was out with some of her old college friends. Piper had wanted Alex to join them, but she just didn't have the energy. It was after midnight, Lucy and Diane were asleep in their own rooms. Alex had been lying in her bed, tossing and turning, the anxiety that had gripped her earlier just wouldn't go away. All this new information just made her imagine all the horrible things Robbie probably did in the past, and what he could still do to them. Alex had been asleep for an hour or so when she started to dream about all the horrible things Robbie had done to Emily. Except in her dream, it wasn't Emily he was hurting, it was Lucy.

 _Alex was tied to a chair, gagged, unable to move. Robbie was in front of Alex, holding onto Lucy, she was crying. It all felt so surreal, Alex wasn't sure if she was dreaming or not. Robbie then suddenly backhands Lucy hard across the face, causing her to fall to the floor crying. Alex tried to scream but nothing comes out because of the gag. Robbie then pulls out a gun, points it to Lucy on the floor, and pulls the trigger. Alex feels like she's dying, she can't breathe. He then holds the gun to Alex's temple, and shoots._

Alex woke up suddenly, sweating again, but this was different from the other dreams. She is struggling to breathe, her chest hurts, and she feels dizzy. "Fuck!" she thinks to herself. She had managed to not have a panic attack in almost two years, she had almost managed to forget how bad they could be. She could feel the anxiety gripping her body, she started gasping for breath, but she just couldn't breathe deeply enough, she was getting dizzier. She needed to get to Diane before she passed out. She stood up and felt like she was having an out of body experience, like she was somewhere else, watching it all unfold. Alex stumbled towards Diane's room and burst through the door, she hit the ground on her hands and knees, still gasping for breath.

"What the fuck!" Diane woke up to the loud bang, and looked down to see Alex on her hands and knees. She practically jumped out of her bed and kneeled down next to her daughter. Diane hadn't seen this sight in a long time, but there was no mistaking what was happening. Alex leaned up against the bedroom wall, trying to calm down. Diane then noticed the blood dripping from her daughter's nose. She needed to calm her down immediately. She put each hand on Alex's cheeks and spoke to her as calmly as possible, "Ally, you need to look at me baby, open your eyes ok." Alex tried to focus on her mum, but everything was starting to look blurry. "I know you're scared baby, but I need you to just breathe with me ok. Just focus on me, follow my breathing." Alex tried to look at Diane, who was now breathing in and out slowly. Alex tried to slow her breathing down, but it was so hard, and the blood just kept pouring from her nose.

Diane kept stroking Alex's cheeks, trying to reach her. After about ten minutes, Alex managed to follow Diane's breathing, "that's it baby, that's good, keep breathing, keep focussing on me. You're doing good Alex." Diane could see the strain in her daughter's face, how much energy it took for her to slow her breathing. As Alex slowly started to breathe more normally, Diane grabbed the box of tissues from the bedside table to clean up the blood. "That's it, don't worry about the blood, it's just because of the anxiety." Diane brushed Alex's hair from her face and started rubbing her arms, trying to keep her calm. "Does it still hurt?"

Alex responded through laboured breaths, "No, no it's ok now. I still feel a bit dizzy."

"That's ok baby, you stay right here. You let me know when you're ready and I'll take you back to your room." Diane assumed Alex would want to go back to her own bed, she always did, but tonight, the mention of her own room caused her to panic again. Alex reached out to Diane from her position against the wall and grabbed onto her very tightly, "No, please mum, let me stay with you, I can't sleep on my own tonight." This broke Diane's heart, Alex had not held onto her this tightly since she was a child. Now, in the moment, having her 19 year old daughter grip onto her like a child, practically beg to stay with her, killed Diane inside. Alex was torturing herself, but Diane didn't know why. Without breaking the tight hug, Diane spoke into Alex's ear, "of course you can stay in here Ally. Let's just get you cleaned up first." Diane tried to get Alex to stand up, but she refused, and just gripped onto Diane tighter, "Shhh, ok baby, ok. Let's just sit here for a bit." Diane held onto her daughter and rubbed her back. They sat like this for another 20 minutes before Alex was ready to get up. Diane led her into the bathroom and washed away the blood, before getting her into a clean t-shirt and shorts, ready for bed.

"Thanks mum."

"What happened Ally? It's been a long time since you've had an attack like that."

"I had a really fucking horrible dream mum, fuck….." Diane got Alex into the bed before climbing in next to her. She wrapped her arms around Alex, it was all she could do to try and make her feel safe.

"Well you tell me about it tomorrow ok. Right now, I want you to try and get some rest." Diane kissed Alex on the cheek. She didn't let her eyes close until she was sure Alex had managed to go back to sleep. "I promise Ally, we're gonna fix this."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 - help her

Alex was exhausted the next morning, she woke up and noticed Diane wasn't in the bed. Alex sat up and rubbed her eyes, she was about to get up when Diane came into the room, "Hi sweetie, just dropped Lucy at school. I got one of the girls to cover for me today, we need to talk."

"It's ok mum, I just had a bad dream last night, you don't need to stay home from work."

"Listen to me Alex, that wasn't just a dream. Most people don't get panic attacks like that from regular dreams. I'm taking you to see a doctor." Diane knew it would be hard to get Alex to agree to this, but she could see Alex needed professional help. She couldn't go on having nightmares that scared her so much.

"No way! I'm fine."

"Please Alex, what if I wasn't home last night? How long would that attack have lasted?"

"I can look after myself mum!" Alex couldn't bring herself to look Diane in the eye at this point.

Diane sat next to Alex on the bed, "I know you can Alex! But you know what? You don't have to. You don't need to tell me about the dreams, but I'm not letting you shut me off from all this. I fucking mean it Alex."

Alex sighed, deep down she knew her mum was right, but she wasn't ready to take that next step. "Ok, I'm sorry. But I'm not ready to speak to a doctor yet."

"Fine, but I'm not forgetting about this. And I'm not letting you fuck off with Nicky today. You can spend some time with your mother." Alex just smiled, apart from Piper, Diane was the only one that could truly get through to her.

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The rest of the week went by fairly quietly. Piper and Alex spent a lot of their spare time together, mostly at Alex's apartment. Piper was starting to feel like she lived there more than she did at her own apartment, like this was starting to become her family. She would come home from work, help with dinner if she got home early enough, or even pick up Lucy from school. She sat with them in the lounge watching a movie, or help Lucy with her homework. It wasn't even intentional, it was just a pattern they fell into, and Piper liked it. It was so easy, and it felt natural. Piper hadn't heard from her parents since their argument, which she was glad about but it also hurt at the same time. Even though she was an adult, on a subconscious level, Piper started looking at Diane more and more like a mother figure. Someone to ask for advice, talk to about her relationship with Alex, or her job, or hell, even what clothes to buy. It was the first time in a long time that Piper allowed herself to feel like she needed a mother, and she sought that from Diane.

It was a Friday night, Diane had taken Lucy to a friend's house and Alex was trying to convince Piper to go to a bar with her and Nicky.

"C'mon Pipes, it's been ages since we've been out properly. You've been writing heaps lately, I think you need to treat yourself." Alex pulled Piper closer to her, trying to will her to come.

"I dunno Al, I'm really not in the mood to go out. It's been a busy week, I'm trying to set up meetings with a bunch of editors."

"Exactly, let me take you out, pretty soon you'll be some big time writer and won't have time to go out with me." Alex smirked as she kissed Piper's neck and breathed into her ear. Piper felt her resolve waning, Alex knew exactly how to get Piper to say yes. Piper turned her face towards Alex and kissed her on the lips, "Fine, you win this time, but it better be a good night."

Two hours later, Alex and Piper met Nicky at a bar in the city, "Vause! You managed to convince the old ball and chain," Nicky liked Piper, but couldn't help but be slightly jealous at all the extra time Alex spent with her.

"Nice to see you too Nicky," Piper smiled in reply. She knew Nicky loved Alex like a sister, but still worried about her influence over Alex, especially when it came to drugs. The three girls headed inside without any issues as Nicky bought her drugs from the bar manager. Considering she was a reliable customer, he let her and Alex in without any ID. They went straight to the bar for drinks, "so where's Lorna tonight?" Alex was curious, Lorna was always with Nicky when they went out.

"Let's just say we had an argument and she's not in the mood to talk right now."

"Anything serious?"

"I dunno, fuck it. I just wanna enjoy myself tonight Vause." With that Nicky dragged Alex and Piper onto the dance floor, where they stayed for most of the night. After a few hours Alex took Piper to a nearby booth for a rest, while Nicky came back with a round of beers, "cheers ladies."

Alex was feeling pretty drunk by this point, but Piper was looking even more drunk, "how you feelin' babe?"

Piper smiled and kissed Alex before responding, "I'm feeling good."

"Seriously, save the lovey dovey shit for when I'm not around." Nicky then pulled out a napkin from her pocket and opened it on the table to reveal a bunch of small pills. She waved the pills in Alex's direction, "I even got your favourite Vause, just because I love ya!" Alex's eyes went wide at the pills in front of her, god, she really wanted one. But she wasn't sure how Piper would react. It wasn't heroin, but she still wanted to make sure Piper didn't have any issues, "ok with you Pipes?"

"Fucking hell Vause, since when do you need permission to take a pill!" Nicky was hurting more than she was letting on about her fight with Lorna, and she just wanted her best friend to get fucked up with her. Plus she was generally annoyed that Alex was asking Piper for permission at all.

Piper was too drunk to be polite anymore, "It's called being in a relationship asshole." She then turned to Alex, "it's fine Al." Nicky just smiled as her and Alex washed their pills down with the beer. After a while Nicky was trying to chat up some random girls at the bar, while Alex dragged Piper back to the dance floor. Piper noticed Nicky with the other girls, "she's not gonna cheat on Lorna is she?"

"Nah, she just needs to get this out of her system, she won't sleep with anyone else, trust me." Alex was sick of talking, she was having a great night and just wanted to be close to Piper. She pulled Piper closer to her, almost possessively. Piper closed the space between them and kissed Alex again. They lost track of time and had no idea how long they stayed like that for. Eventually, Piper led Alex towards the bathrooms. They stumbled through the door and stopped in their tracks. There was a young girl sitting on the floor next to the sinks, just staring into space. Even through her drug and alcohol fuelled state, Alex recognised her, "Emily?"

Emily looked up at Alex and Piper and smiled, "Hi Alex."

Piper remembered when Alex told her about Emily, but looking at her now, this girl did not look right. Piper looked more closely, and even though she was drunk, she couldn't miss the track marks on her arms. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm great. Who are you?"

"I'm Piper, Alex's girlfriend." This just made Emily laugh, which Piper wasn't sure how to react to. "Is there something fucking funny about that?" Piper was pissed off.

"Oh no, no sorry. I just didn't know Alex was gay."

Alex interjected at this point, "Well, now you know." Alex was about to go into one of the stalls when Emily kept talking, "I bet Robbie loved that!"

Piper's eyes widened, her anger rising to the surface again, "what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Alex held onto Piper's arm before she could say anything else, and whispered into Piper's ear, "Don't worry about it babe, she's high, she doesn't know what she's saying."

"I'm sorry, sorry. I just…..I just know how he reacted when he found out I was gay. And good old mum, fucking loved it too."

Alex was too fucked right now to deal with this, so she pulled Piper out of the bathroom and back to the bar, "Al, what the fuck just happened?"

"I have no idea. Don't let it ruin our night Pipes. Let's find Nicky." The girls found Nicky on the other side of the bar, buying more drinks. They stayed at the bar for a couple more hours before they called it a night. "How you holding up there Chapman?" Nicky smiled at the sight in front of her, Piper was completely drunk and wrapped herself around Alex to stay upright, her head buried in Alex's shoulder. "Fuck you Nicky." Alex laughed, even when extremely drunk, Piper wouldn't take shit from Nicky.

"Don't worry Pipes, I'll get you home in one piece." The three friends were laughing as they exited the bar and waited for their cab. Out the front was Emily again, leaning against the wall, Alex was getting annoyed, "I can't fucking get away from this girl Nick." Nicky looked the girl up and down, "she looks fucked Vause."

"Hello again Alex," Emily was still smiling, but she seemed sad this time. She got up from the floor and stood in front of Alex and Piper with a serious look on her face, "how many times did he rape you?"

Alex just stood there, giving a cold stare back, "he never raped me," she replied through gritted teeth. She knew it was probably just the drugs making Emily talk like this, she didn't seem like an asshole the other day. But Alex was not in the mood for this shit now.

"Lucky you. Well, he must have done something for the police to get involved, for you to end up in hospital. He must have tried?"

Piper lifted her head from Alex's shoulder and shoved Emily back into the wall, "Would you shut the fuck up! This is none of your business."

Emily put her arms up in protest, "Whoa, I get it, you're the girlfriend, you wanna protect her. But I'm not the bad guy, I'm just trying to help. You're lucky you know, Alex. You're lucky that your mum isn't an asshole too, mine is."

Alex kept her arm around Piper, trying to keep her from exploding. "Look, I'm sorry Emily, but this isn't the right time to talk about this. I'll give you a call sometime, we're going home."

With that, the three girls got into their cab and headed back to the Vause apartment.

 **0-0-0-0-0-0**

It was after 2am when they got back to the apartment, Nicky would spend the night on the couch, while Piper slept in Alex's room. Alex helped Piper to the couch and sat her down next to Nicky. She went into the kitchen and came back with a bag of chips, "That was so fucking weird."

"Tell me about it! I reckon I've seen her hanging around Eddie's in the last couple months, she's a steady customer. But not in control by the looks of it. She was high as a kite tonight!" Nicky took the chips from Alex and grabbed a handful.

"He must have really fucked her up, done some really horrible shit."

"Stay away from her Alex, she seems unstable."

"Come off it Chapman, you're just worried she might steal Vause away. Trust me, she's harmless."

Piper just glared at Nicky, she was too tired to argue back. She leaned back into Alex, she would never get tired of the smell of her hair. "Come on Pipes, let's go to bed. You know your way around Nicky."

"See you love birds in the morning."

Alex led Piper into her bedroom, and slowly helped her undress before undressing herself. When they were both in bed, Piper couldn't help but talk about Emily, "I don't trust her Al, just watch yourself around her ok."

"Don't worry Pipes, I'll be careful."

 **0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

Piper groaned as she woke up the next day, she hardly slept and still felt a bit drunk. She opened her eyes to see Alex fast asleep, laying on her back with her mouth wide open. Piper just laughed to herself as she got up and put on some clean clothes. She walked into the lounge room to check on Nicky, where she found Lucy sitting on the couch with her, talking quietly. Lucy looked up and saw Piper walk over to them, "Hi Piper."

"Hi Lucy, what are you doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep anymore. And I haven't seen Nicky in ages."

"Yeah, Vause junior here thought it would be a great idea to wake me up at the crack of dawn."

"You said it was ok!"

"I'm just messin' with you, calm down kid. Can definitely see those family traits didn't skip you."

"Whatever, I'm gonna go wake up Alex."

"Pretty sure she doesn't want a wake up call this morning kiddo."

"Shut up Nicky," and with that, Lucy headed to Alex's room.

Nicky laughed, "God I love that kid. She'd give all of us a run for our money." Nicky slipped back under the blanket she slept with. Piper sat in the armchair next to her, "I don't think I've ever seen sisters as close as those two."

"Yeah, well, a lot of the time all they had was each other. That's what it's like for people like us Chapman. Alex has been looking after Lucy since she was born, and Lucy has always been completely attached to her. That kid thinks the sun shines out of your girlfriend's ass."

Piper smiled, "what was Alex like when she was younger?"

"Oh Chapman, the stories I could tell you! Unfortunately, Vause would kill me."

"Come on Nicky, I'm sure there's something you can tell me."

Nicky's expression became serious for a moment, "In a nutshell, she's always stuck to herself, all she ever had was Diane, Lucy and me. She was treated like shit for most of her life, so was I. We learnt how to look out for ourselves. Fuck, we got into so much shit, surprised we didn't send Diane to the nut house. That is one patient woman, she means a lot to Alex. But I can see that Alex is clearly in love with you Chapman."

"And I love her too."

 **0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

Lucy stepped into Alex's room and closed the door. Just like all the times she had done before, Lucy got into the bed next to Alex, "Ally, wake up."

Alex groaned as she opened her eyes and saw Lucy next to her. She hadn't seen Lucy much this week, and it just reminded Alex of her last panic attack. She reached out her long arms and brought Lucy in close to her in a tight hug. She kept reminding herself it was just a dream, but she couldn't stop the tears forming in her eyes, she wanted to keep Lucy close to her. In the last couple of weeks Lucy had started to give Alex more space. But right now, neither of them wanted to let go of the other.

"Are you ok Ally?"

"Yeah kid, just missed you this week. Need an extra-long hug this morning." In so many ways, Alex felt responsible for Lucy. Responsible for protecting her, giving her advice, and helping her live her life.

"Me too. Mum said I needed to give you more space, I didn't mean to annoy you."

Alex smiled at Lucy, "You weren't annoying me Luce, I just wanted you to relax."

"I was relaxed, I just wanted to look after you."

"You did kid, you did." Alex still kept her arms around Lucy, she wasn't ready to face the rest of the world yet. "I'm still kinda tired, how about we go back to sleep for a bit?"

"Ok." Lucy slid further under the blankets, leaning into Alex's chest as she went back to sleep.

 **0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

Nicky went home not long after Lucy woke her up, leaving Diane and Piper in the kitchen while Alex and Lucy slept. Piper was nursing her hangover, trying to get rid of her headache with coffee. Diane sat next to her, "Piper, I need your help with something."

"Of course, is everything ok?"

Diane shook her head, "I'm not really sure…..Did Alex tell you that she had a panic attack last week?"

"No….she didn't tell me."

"I wouldn't read too much into her not telling you, you know what she's like. Look, I don't want to worry you, but it was a bad one. She came into my bedroom, it took me over half an hour to calm her down. That hasn't happened in a long time, she looked really fucking scared. She wouldn't tell me what she dreamed about that caused the attack, but I can imagine it wasn't good."

Piper couldn't help but be worried, "I really wish she'd told me about it."

"I know sweetie, but don't dwell on that, she's still convinced she needs to deal with everything on her own. The only reason she came to my room is because it was a bad one, she couldn't calm herself down." Diane paused while she took a deep breath, "I want her to see a doctor about it, but she won't listen to me, I was hoping you could talk to her about it? I don't want to put any pressure on you, but this isn't getting better for her, and I don't want to see her have any more panic attacks like that."

Piper didn't know what to say, "Of course I'll talk to her about it. I, I'm just trying to process it all. I mean, she's woken up from bad dreams before, but I've never seen her have a panic attack because of a dream."

"It was the first one she's had in a good couple years. Don't get me wrong, I love Nicky, but I don't want Alex turning to her for drugs to deal with this. Although looks like you managed to scare her straight on that front. She's head over heels for you Piper, she's trying hard to respect your wishes when it comes to those things." This made Piper smile, she had noticed that Alex seemed to be more conscious of Piper's feelings towards things like drugs. "I'm not expecting miracles, but I thought she might listen to you on this."

Piper scoffed, "I don't know about that Diane, but I'll absolutely talk to her about it."

 **0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

It was an hour later and Alex and Lucy still hadn't emerged from the bedroom. Piper turned to Diane, "it's nearly midday, should I go wake them up?"

"Yeah, otherwise Lucy will be up all night. I'm gonna go get ready for my shift, need to be there by 2pm." Diane headed off to get ready for work while Piper went to Alex's room. As expected, both sisters were still asleep, Lucy wrapped up in Alex's arms. "Hey sleepy heads, it's time to get up!"

Lucy opened one eye, "Why?"

"Because it's nearly midday and you need to get your lazy butts out of bed." Piper pulled back the blanket to try and force them up.

Alex didn't even bother opening her eyes, but Piper could tell she was awake now, "Just ignore her Lucy, I think Piper has forgotten it's SATURDAY."

"Yeah, it's Saturday, we can sleep as much as we want."

Piper rolled her eyes, "Seriously Alex, it's like I'm dealing with two ten year olds."

"Ok ok. Better get up Luce before she gets angry."

"I can't get up if you don't let go of me," but the reality was that Lucy didn't want to get up. She wasn't tired anymore, but she just wanted to stay with Alex. Alex didn't respond, she just lay there, still holding onto Lucy. She could feel the anxiety rising in her chest again, but she managed to push it away, every time she saw Lucy she was reminded of that dream. She let go of Lucy and sat up in bed, "go get dressed kid, I'll make some lunch."

Lucy took her time getting out of the bed. Once she had gone to get changed, Piper sat next to Alex. "How's it going?" Alex didn't say anything, and instead pulled Piper into a kiss. "Seriously Alex, is everything ok?"

"Yes Pipes, everything is ok."

Piper took a deep breathe, she really hoped Alex didn't get angry about what Diane told her, "your mum told me you had a panic attack last week."

Alex's face went blank, "it's not a big deal Piper, that's why I didn't say anything."

"I'm not mad at you Alex, I just think you should consider seeing a doctor about this."

"Fucking hell, so she put you onto me to talk me into seeing a fucking shrink?"

"That's not what it's about and you know it! Don't be an asshole just because your mum is worried about you. At the very least just do it for her, then if it doesn't help at least you can say you tried."

Alex knew she was right. She had been leaning so heavily on Diane and Piper recently, she had no right to give them attitude. But the idea of actually saying certain things out loud to a doctor, it was unimaginable. She was petrified of actually telling someone her story, of how she would react at actually talking about certain things that she never mentioned to anyone.

"Sorry Pipes, you're right, I'm an asshole. But I just need more time to think about it." Alex leaned her forehead against Piper's, she just needed her reassurance that everything would be ok. Before either girl could say anything, Alex's phone went off, it was a text from Emily:

 **Emily: I'm really sorry about last night, do you have time to talk today?**

Piper saw the text and felt instantly tense, she did not trust Emily, especially after last night. And she did not want Alex being alone with her. "Not today Alex, Diane is working and I need to get some writing done. You need to watch Lucy." Alex knew that Piper didn't want her seeing Emily, and to be honest Alex didn't have the energy to deal with her today. She sent a reply:

 **Alex: Sorry don't have time today. How about during the week?**

Alex got a response almost immediately:

 **Emily: Tomorrow?**

This just annoyed Piper, "she really cannot take a hint."

 **Alex: I'll let you know**

 **0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

It was late Saturday evening and Diane was still at work. Piper was putting Lucy to bed while Alex had a shower. She was about to leave the room when Lucy asked a question, "do you love Alex?"

This took Piper by surprise _,_ this kid liked to ask the serious questions, "Yeah, a lot."

"Good, because I don't want you to go away one day."

"What makes you think I'd go anywhere?"

Lucy lowered her eyes, "Because your parents don't like Alex."

"That doesn't mean I'm going anywhere Lucy. I love being here with you guys."

"I like having you around, I don't want you to leave. And Alex definitely doesn't want you to leave. I think we'd both be really sad if you left. I know she gets in trouble sometimes but she doesn't mean to."

"I'm not leaving Lucy, I promise. And don't worry about my parents, they just need to get used to the idea." Piper gave Lucy a hug before leaving the room. The truth was that she wasn't sure if her parents would ever accept Alex.

Alex was done in the shower and changed into shorts and a t-shirt. It still felt surreal, the way Piper just fit into her life, fit into her family. She put Lucy to bed, she hung out with her mum, it just worked. Even though Robbie still hadn't been caught, Alex was happy. Piper filled a need inside her that she didn't know was there. Both girls were in the kitchen having a late snack when there was a knock at the door. Piper got up and opened the door, only to find Emily on the other side, "what are you doing here?"

Emily seemed panicked, "I'm sorry but Alex I need to talk to you!"

Alex stood up quickly, "Keep your fucking voice down, what do you need to talk about? And how the fuck do you know where I live?"

"You never gave me the chance to apologise for the other night, and there's so much you still don't know." Emily pushed past Piper into the apartment, "Why won't you let me talk to you?"

The truth was, Alex was just tired, she didn't have the energy to deal with Emily. As harsh as it sounded in her own head, she didn't really want to know what Robbie did to Emily, and Emily was starting to scare her. It was hard enough for Alex to deal with her own demons, she didn't have it in her right now to deal with Emily's.

Piper could see that Alex was uncomfortable, and stepped in, "Look Emily, Alex doesn't want to talk right now, you need to leave."

Emily was starting to get frustrated, "I'm not ready to leave! If you actually cared about Alex, you'd let me talk to her. How do you know he won't put you in hospital next?" As soon as Alex heard Emily threaten Piper her anger bubbled to the surface. She quickly walked over to Emily, grabbed her shirt and pushed her against the wall, "Don't you dare fucking threaten her, understand? You can contact me to talk when you're not fucking high. Do not come back here again."

Emily looked surprised, "Sorry Alex, I just don't know how to get through to you, or your girlfriend. You don't know him like I do."

Alex kept a firm grip on Emily, "you told me he wouldn't come back, that I should be glad he's gone, so what does it fucking matter?"

"That doesn't mean you shouldn't know his history!"

Alex's patience had run out, she slammed Emily into the wall, anxiety and anger mixing inside her, "You need to leave, I will contact you when I'm ready, until then you leave us the fuck alone." Alex pushed Emily out the front door and locked it behind her. She could feel the emotions growing inside her, she was trying desperately to regain control but it wasn't happening. Alex knew that Piper kept telling her to be honest, to not hide things from her. But Alex did not want to have a panic attack in front of her, that would be showing Piper her ultimate vulnerability. She was afraid to let Piper see that, afraid that Piper would think she was too messed up, too pathetic, too far beyond help. That was the first time in a while that Alex let her anger get the better of her, that built-in instinct to protect those around her would never fade. She knew the likelihood of Robbie ever coming back was remote, but Emily's words just forced images into her mind that she couldn't erase. Images of bad things happening to Piper and Lucy. She could feel her body tingling now, could feel the tension building. She quickly stepped past Piper and into her room, she was so frustrated with herself at letting this happen again. She sat on the floor in her room and tried to calm down, but her breathing just got quicker and more shallow. She closed her eyes, but all she could see was Piper and Lucy. She opened her eyes again and just felt dizzy. She knew she wouldn't faint, but it could get damn close. Her chest hurt and she could feel blood starting to drip from her nose.

Piper rushed into the room and knelt in front of Alex, she had never seen someone have a panic attack before and she wasn't sure what to do, "Alex, are you ok?" Her breathing was out of control and she couldn't bring herself to speak, Diane was the only one that could ever bring Alex back from an attack like this.

All the noise and shouting obviously woke Lucy up, and she ran into Alex's room. Even though she was only 8 at the time, she remembers seeing Alex have attacks like this previously. She remembered the way Diane had calmed her down. Lucy grabbed Alex's hand as she sat next to Piper, "you need to put your hands on her face and get her to breathe slower." Piper immediately cupped Alex's face in her hands and gently stroked her cheeks, "Alex, can you hear me?" Alex just nodded but had her eyes closed tight, "Open your eyes baby, look at me." The way Alex was breathing was scaring Piper, she was afraid she would pass out. After a few moments, Alex opened her eyes and looked at Piper, but she was struggling to focus. "Baby I need you to try and calm down, slow down your breathing."

Alex could feel herself starting to feel more faint, but forced herself to focus on Piper and Lucy. She squeezed Lucy's hand to try and reassure her, she did not want her sister seeing her like this. Lucy kept holding onto Alex's hand and started rubbing her arm, "I know you can do it Ally." Alex smiled through the grimace on her face. It took a while but eventually she started to calm down, "that's good Alex, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

"I feel really dizzy Pipes."

"What can I do?"

"Just stay here." Piper kept stroking Alex's face and started running her hands through Alex's hair, which was now sweaty. Lucy rushed off to the kitchen and came back with a glass of water, which she gave to Piper, "you need to help her with it."

Piper took the water from Lucy and held it towards Alex, whose hands were still shaking too much to hold it on her own, "thanks guys." Lucy wrapped her arms around Alex's mid-section and hugged her, resting her head against Alex's chest. Alex put her hand in Lucy's hair, "I'm sorry you saw that kid."

"I'm not a baby Alex, I can help too. I've seen this happen to you before remember"

"You're right." The dizziness had finally gone away, leaving Alex exhausted. The blood from her nose had dripped down her face and neck and soaked into her t-shirt. Lucy handed Piper a face towel to clean up the blood. Piper tenderly touched the towel to Alex's nose, "does it hurt?"

"No, the doctor said it's just because of high blood pressure during the attack. " Piper ran the towel over Alex's nose and mouth, and then down her neck. She then leaned into Alex and kissed her on the lips, "you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, I'm ok now. Just tired. Sorry Piper."

"You need to stop apologising for stuff like this Alex, it happens to a lot of people. But I am going to ask you to see a doctor, please."

Alex just nodded her head, "yeah, I will. I love you."

 **A/N**

 **Hi folks,**

 **This will be my last update for a few weeks over the holiday season. As always, keen to hear your thoughts.**

 **Cheers.**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 – lonely birthdays and therapy

Over the next week, Danny pulled some strings to get Alex into seeing a psychiatrist. She was meant to be going in a few weeks for her first appointment, and it was making her extremely nervous. She was sitting on Nicky's balcony, rolling herself another joint. Right now, she just needed to take her mind off things, she just wanted to be with her best friend and forget about her problems. They had been sitting on the balcony smoking pot for an hour, Alex's mind was finally starting to haze over, her mind was letting go of its anxiety and living in the moment.

Alex finished rolling the joint, inhaled and passed it to Nicky, "this whole shrink thing is scaring the shit outta me Nick."

"Look, my mum loved sending me to shrinks when I was a kid, it's not that bad. Anything's gotta be better than panic attacks right?" Nicky didn't want to say it, but she was worried about the return of Alex's panic attacks. The last time this happened, Alex's drug use skyrocketed, even for Nicky. The only thing stopping her from doing that again was Piper. Nicky knew Piper was having her own issues at the moment with her parents, and she couldn't save Alex every time. Alex needed to be willing to put some effort into saving herself.

Alex didn't respond, she was desperate to shut her mind down, and this was the only way she knew how. She didn't have to drive home, so she made no attempt at curbing her smoking. She picked up Nicky's pocket knife from the balcony table and started playing with the blade, flicking it open and closed. She had never seriously self-harmed, but so many times she wished she could do it to herself.

Nicky leaned over and took the knife from Alex. Just as Nicky took the knife, Alex's phone started to ring, it was Emily. Alex just looked at her phone blankly, not answering, "you ever gonna answer her calls?"

Again, Alex didn't respond, she just kept staring off into nothing, "you ok Vause?"

Alex looked at Nicky this time, "yeah, just trying to relax."

Nicky decided to change the subject, "And how are things with blondie?"

"Good, too good. But she worries too much, maybe I worry too much," Alex laughs to herself, "I'm in too deep now, if she leaves, I'm fucked." And deep down, that was Alex's true fear. She had shown Piper all her vulnerability, she came to rely on Piper, she loved her. Alex looked forward to seeing her every day, hugging her, just lying next to her at the end of the day. If it ended now, it would be a long way back for Alex. But she didn't even really care about that, for the first time in her life. Piper felt so good, it was worth any risk, this is the first time Alex had something to lose aside from her mum, Lucy and Nicky. But the anxiety made it so tempting to fall back into old drug habits, no amount of pot compared to heroin. Alex managed to pull herself up and go to the fridge to grab some beers, if she was going to keep away from heroin right now, she needed more than just pot.

Another couple of hours went by with more drinking and smoking. Both girls were now asleep in Nicky's bed, feeling the effects of their day. Nicky woke up first, around 7pm, to the sound of Alex's phone ringing, it was Piper, "Hey blondie, I thought you'd never call!" Nicky looked over to Alex, who was still out to it.

"Hi Nicky, just checking what you guys are doing tonight?"

"Well right now I'm in bed with your woman, after that, who know what we'll do." After Nicky had her fun tormenting Piper, they chatted for a bit and decided Piper would come join them, she arrived 20 minutes later. Nicky let her in and led her to the bedroom where Alex was still sleeping. Nicky went back onto the balcony and Piper laid next to Alex, pulling her close until their faces were nearly touching. Alex wriggled her body against Piper's and kept sleeping, Piper leaned in and kissed Alex gently on the lips, wanting her to wake up. Slowly, Alex opened her eyes and smiled, "hey Pipes."

"Hey Al, big day huh?" Piper said with a small smile. She could smell the pot and beer on Alex, she knew Alex had probably been smoking pot with Nicky all afternoon. She knew Alex only smoked that much if something was bothering her, so she spoke again, "everything ok?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

"You seem to forget that I know all your tricks Vause, do I need to ask again?"

Alex rolled her eyes at Piper, "I'm just nervous about this shrink stuff, and fucking Emily won't stop calling me, it's creeping me out."

"It's totally normal to be nervous about seeing a therapist for the first time, but just make sure you give it a chance. As for Emily, maybe we should just have lunch with her, see what the hell she wants."

"We?" Alex asked with a raised brow.

"Yes Alex, we. I don't trust her, I'm not leaving you alone with her. The idea just….it just makes me picture you in that hospital bed."

"I know, sorry Pipes. Next time she calls, I'll answer, get it over with."

The two girls just kept lying on the bed, not needing to speak, enjoying being tangled in each other with nowhere to be.

 **0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

Piper's 23rd birthday was approaching and she still hadn't talked to her parents since their fight, but knew she needed to take the higher ground and phone them. She worked up the courage and called her mum on her lunch break, "Hi mum, it's Piper."

"Hello Piper, how have you been?" Carol's voice was perfectly polite but very cold.

"I've been good, my writing is going really well and work is keeping me busy. How are you?"

"Yes very good dear."

"I was calling to see if you'd like to have a family get together since my birthday is coming up."

"You know ordinarily we would, but your father's just been so busy lately."

"Too busy to see me for my birthday?"

"Come on now Piper. Are you still with that person?"

"Alex mum, her name is Alex, and yes, we're still together."

"I see." There was an awkward silence until Piper spoke again.

"I love her mum, she's not going anywhere from my life."

There was silence for a few moments before Carol spoke again, "Look, why don't you come for lunch this weekend, I'm sure your father can make some time." And with that, the conversation ended. It probably wouldn't be the warmest family lunch, but it was a step in the right direction.

The rest of Piper's shift dragged on, finally finishing at 5pm. She headed home but really didn't feel like being alone. Alex was at work but she knew Diane and Lucy would be home. She knocked on the door to the Vause apartment, Diane answered the door, "Hi Piper, come in. Alex will be at work for a few more hours, but you're just in time to help us with baking muffins for Lucy to take to school tomorrow. Of course, so far it's been me doing the baking and Lucy mucking around in her room." Diane smiled at Piper, but could sense something was wrong.

"Everything ok?"

Piper didn't want to blubber about the situation, but she needed to talk about it, "Not really."

"Talk to me sweetie." Diane stepped next to Piper and put an arm around her shoulders.

"It's my birthday in a couple weeks."

"Ahh yes don't worry I won't forget. Alex won't stop talking about it."

Piper smiled at this, "I called my mum today, we usually have a family lunch or dinner to celebrate birthdays. I practically had to twist her arm to get her to agree to see me this year." Piper choked back her tears.

"I'm sorry Piper. I assume this has something to do with Alex?"

"It has everything to do with Alex. My parents won't accept the relationship, but I really thought they would still actually want to see me on my birthday. My mum was so cold on the phone, like she didn't even care. They won't even give it a chance, it's so unfair. Alex is everything to me, she's the only person that's ever understood the real me, encouraged me to write and be myself. But that means nothing to my parents."

"I'm sorry sweetie, these things can take some time. But look, this is still a good sign that they've agreed to lunch."

Piper knew Diane was right, but she couldn't help wishing Carol was more like Diane, "it didn't take you any time to accept Alex."

"Yeah, well, putting up with Alex and Nicky growing up together can put things in perspective."

Piper just smiled, but she couldn't stop the sadness inside her.

"I know I'm not your mother Piper, but like I've said to you before, you'll always have a place here with us. And I'm sure if your parents just saw you and Alex together, they'd see how in love you guys are."

"Yeah, well I hope you're right, because I'm bringing her with me to lunch."

 **0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

The weekend rolled around quickly, and Alex was extremely nervous about Piper's birthday lunch, "Pipes, are you sure I should be coming? I feel like this could end badly, like, really badly."

Piper finished putting on her makeup and turned to face Alex, "I don't care, I'm not going without you. They need to learn to accept me for who I am, if they can't do that…." Piper didn't want to finish the sentence. Alex walked over to her, pulling her into a hug, "well, let's do this."

Piper drove them to her parents house in Connecticut, they were silent for most of the drive. Piper was so nervous, but determined to stand up for herself, and for Alex. They finally pulled into the Chapman's driveway, sitting there for a while, "ready Pipes?"

Piper looked into Alex's green eyes, and found the reassurance she was looking for, that was all the courage she needed to step out of the car. She took hold of Alex's hand and led her to the front door. Alex was taken aback by the size of the house, "shit, no wonder they think I'm a waste of space."

"Don't say that Alex." Piper hated it when Alex put herself down.

"Sorry Pipes, bad joke." They were standing at the front door, Piper wasn't moving, so Alex pushed the doorbell. Danny opened the door with a huge smile on his face, "Hello ladies, and happy birthday baby sister!" Danny kissed Piper on the cheek and gave them both hugs, before leading them into the house. Piper's younger brother Cal was overseas for the next 6 months, so it was just Danny and Piper's parents. Danny led them into a very large dining area where Carol and Bill were standing. As soon as they realised Piper wasn't alone, the room was filled with an awkward silence, which Danny finally broke, "So, I was thinking we could head down to Fishbone since that's Piper's favourite, then head somewhere else for dessert?"

The room stayed silent until Carol spoke, "Piper, we didn't think you'd be bringing your friend along."

Piper linked her hand with Alex's before responding, "you know she's not my friend mum, she's my girlfriend."

"Really Piper, this is completely inappropriate." While Carol kept talking, Bill stood next to her, completely silent. Piper needed to know what he thought, "Aren't you going to say anything?" Bill just looked at her, disappointment thick in his eyes, "I'm sorry Piper, but I just can't stand here and pretend everything is ok."

Piper felt the tears burn in her eyes, "why isn't this ok?"

"You know why Piper. You've been given every opportunity in life, you could do anything you want. We feel like you're throwing your life away."

"How can you say that? I'm in love with an incredibly kind and generous person who would do anything for me. She's already put herself on the line just to protect me, how is that throwing my life away?"

Bill signed, "Love isn't enough Piper, what about security?"

This whole time Alex stood silently next to Piper, holding her hand. She knew she could make Piper happy, she would do anything for her, treat her better than any rich asshole the Chapman's tried to set her up with.

Piper stood there shaking her head, "you don't get it, I don't want to be someone's trophy wife." She let go of Alex's hand as she stepped closer to Carol, "that's what you did, right mum? You married for security, and where did it get you? It got you leading a miserable life, where your husband kept cheating on you but you just kept turning the other cheek because hey, at least you had security." Carol looked infuriated, her eyes boring into Piper's. Without warning, Carol backhanded her daughter hard across the face, the stone of one of her rings tearing into Piper's face, leaving a cut from the corner of her mouth to the outside of her cheek. Piper immediately raised her hand to her face, feeling the warm blood run between her fingers. Alex bolted to Piper, immediately cupping her face, "Fuck, Pipes, let me see," Alex then turned towards Carol, "What the fuck is wrong with you! Is that how you treat your daughter?" But Piper couldn't believe what had just happened, her parents didn't even move, they both just stood there in shock. Piper just buried her face in Alex's shoulder and cried. Alex wrapped her arms around Piper and held her tight, she was disgusted by what she had just seen, and her only concern was taking care of her girlfriend, "shhh, it's ok Pipes, I've got you. I think we should go." Alex just kept holding onto Piper as she cried, gently rubbing her back.

Danny was now standing next to them, he looked shocked, "Piper, let me look."

"No!" Piper brushed him away, refusing to leave the comfort of Alex's embrace. "Sorry Danny, but I have to go." With that Piper took Alex's hand and practically dragged her out of the house, Danny walked after them while Carol and Bill didn't move. Once they were in the front yard Alex forced Piper to stop, looking into her blue eyes, "just let Danny take a look ok, make sure you don't need stitches." Alex kissed her forehead and looked to Danny, who still looked shocked. Piper finally let him look at her cheek, "Shit, I can't believe mum just did that. Piper, I didn't think that would happen."

"It's fine Danny, it's not your fault. At least I know where I stand now." Danny finished looking at Piper's cut, which was still bleeding, "you don't need stitches, but it's still pretty bad. Let me clean it up."

"No, I just need to leave. I love you Danny." Piper hugged her brother before getting into the car. Alex led her to the passenger side and drove them home. "Talk to me Pipes."

Piper still had tears in her eyes, she had no words for her girlfriend just yet. The drive back home was mostly silent. There was blood running down Piper's cheek but she wouldn't let Alex clean it up, it's like Piper wanted to make sure she felt the pain. Make sure she didn't forget this feeling, forget what her parents had done. The two girls made it back home, and Alex led Piper back to the Vause apartment. Diane was sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper when they walked in. She looked up to see Piper's face, and Alex protectively holding onto her, "what the fuck happened?" Diane stood up and immediately walked over to Piper, looking at her face. Most of the blood had dried, but the cut still looked painful. Piper didn't respond, she just looked at Diane in silence. Alex led Piper to a kitchen chair and sat her down, then got her a glass of water. Diane went to the bathroom and collected a towel and warm water, the same routine she had gone through so many times in the past to clean up Alex's face after a fight, except this time was different. Piper was not a violent person, and Diane was pretty sure Piper hadn't been the one to start this fight. Alex stood behind Piper and gently kissed the top of her head, lightly rubbing her shoulders. Diane sat in front of Piper to clean up the blood, "Sorry sweetie, this will hurt a bit." Diane took the damp towel and slowly started to clean the cut on Piper's face, causing her to wince, "sorry baby, nearly done." Diane finished cleaning the cut, then looked to her daughter, "what happened?"

Alex explained the situation to Diane, Piper didn't say anything. Diane didn't know what to say, she had never seen Piper like this. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that Piper." Piper still didn't say anything, when Diane looked into her eyes all she saw was a deep sadness. She kept herself seated in front of Piper, she needed to get through to her, "Listen to me sweetie, I know what it's like to be rejected by your parents. I already told you my parents kicked me out when they found out I was pregnant with Alex. But I do know it gets better over time, and things can still get better with your parents."

Piper spoke quietly, "I'm not sure I want them to get better."

Diane took Piper hands in her own, "you need to do what's best for you. But Piper, never doubt yourself. You are so smart, and beautiful, and you're a wonderful person. Lucy loves you, and you look after her without a second thought. I love you too Piper, I love seeing you with Alex, you make each other whole. Plus, anyone that can put up with Alex deserves a medal." Piper slowly cracked a smile.

"Hey, I'm not that bad." Alex was relieved to see the smile creep across Piper's face.

Diane kept talking, "you know you are welcome here with us anytime, I want you here. Don't you fucking dare buy into any of the bulshit your parents said today. And we will make sure you have an amazing birthday." After a few moments Piper got up to go to Alex's room. Diane grabbed Alex's hand before she could follow, "that girl needs you Alex, look after her."

"I will mum." Alex walked into her room to find Piper sitting on the bed. Alex sat next to her and gently ran her fingers through Piper's blonde hair, careful not to touch the cut, "I think I understand now what you meant when you said you hated seeing me get hurt. I really fucking hated seeing you get hurt today, with what your parents said to you and when your mum hit you. When I saw the blood, all I wanted to do was take the pain away. I promise I'll always look after you Piper, no matter what. It's my turn now to look after you." Alex leaned in to kiss Piper, still so careful to not hurt her cheek.

Piper sighed into the kiss and leaned her head against Alex's chest, "Thanks Al, will you hold me tonight?"

Alex just smirked at this, "you don't have to ask, pretty sure I cuddle you every night. And if I'm not cuddling you it's because Lucy's in my bed kicking the shit out of me while she sleeps." Piper laughed, Alex could always make her laugh. "I just really need you to hold onto me tonight Alex, you're the only one that makes me feel safe anymore."

"We look out for each other right? That's what you told your parents, I'll always protect you Piper." Alex kissed her before pulling off Piper's t-shirt and slowly unclasping her bra. She then pulled Piper up and slowly took off her jeans, leaving her in her black underwear. Alex got one of her own t-shirts and put in on Piper to sleep in. Alex then took off her own clothes and got into the bed against the wall. She lifted the sheet to invite Piper in, as Piper slipped into the bed Alex put her arm around her waist and pulled Piper close to her. She moved Piper's hair and kissed her neck, "I promise I won't let go all night."

 **0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

Even with Alex holding onto her all night, Piper couldn't sleep properly, she just kept thinking about what her parents had said to her, how neither of them moved after her mum hit her. It was early in the morning, but Alex had to leave for work as she was opening the café that day. Alex woke up at 5am and pulled Piper close to her again, "did you get any sleep?"

"Not much," Piper just nuzzled her head into Alex's chest, she wasn't ready to face the world.

"Then try and go back to sleep now, stay here as long as you like. I'll see you tonight." Alex kissed Piper before she got out of bed, quickly got dressed and rushed out the door. Piper tried to go back to sleep, but she couldn't relax on her own. It was close to 6am when Lucy walked into the room, Piper assumed she was looking for Alex, "Hi Luce, Alex has already gone to work."

Lucy didn't seem to acknowledge what Piper said, and instead walked into the room and got into the bed with Piper, "Can I stay with you? I don't feel like being alone"

"Sure," Piper was happy for the company, she didn't feel like being alone either. Lucy got into the bed and looked at Piper's face, noticing the cut on her cheek. The young girl frowned, "What happened?"

Piper didn't see any point in lying to Lucy, she could smell a lie from a mile away, "I….I had an argument with my parents."

"And they cut you?" Lucy looked horrified.

"Not on purpose, it was an accident. But it's ok, Alex was with me, she looked after me."

Lucy went on to ask Piper a million questions – what was the fight about? Did it hurt? Did Alex start the fight? Piper answered as best as she could, she wanted to be honest with Lucy. Eventually the questions stopped, "I know they're your parents, but I don't want you to go back there. Just stay here with us, I don't want anyone to hurt you." This made Piper smile, in the last 6 months she had grown so close to Lucy, she was starting to feel like her own sister. Both of them were tired, Piper wrapped her arms around Lucy and they both drifted back to sleep.

 **0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

It was still a week until Piper's actual birthday and Alex wanted to make sure the blonde had a great day. She had no money, so she'd need to think of another way to make it special. Right now, Alex was feeling extremely nervous as she waited to see the psychiatrist for the first time. After a short wait, she was finally led into another room for her session, "Hi Alex, my name is Kerry, take a seat." Alex looked the therapist up and down, she looked about 40 and had short brown hair. She was wearing a black skirt and black v-neck. Alex sat down on the couch and said nothing, she knew Danny had done her a favour by getting her this appointment, but she was not in the mood to talk about her feelings to a complete stranger.

"So Alex, tell me why you're here."

Alex just rolled her eyes, "Don't you already know that?"

"Well I have some basic information, but I always prefer to talk to my patients about this, rather than just rely on a file."

"I'm here because my mum and girlfriend wanted me to come."

"Ok, and did you want to come?"

"Not really."

"That's completely normal Alex, I understand that you've been through a lot, I want to help you. The first step can be especially difficult for young people that have experienced physical and sexual abuse."

These words made Alex freeze, she gritted her teeth and balled her hands into fists, "I was not sexually abused." She just could not listen to those words, she could not bring herself to accept those things that Robbie did to her.

"It's ok Alex, these things take time, that's why you're here. This type of abuse can take a long time to process."

Alex couldn't listen to this anymore, she could feel that familiar pain in her chest and the panic setting in. She could feel herself starting to sweat, she had to get out of there. She didn't even register what she was doing as she got up and ran out of that room, out of the building and into the street. She knew she wasn't far from Nicky's apartment, she could be there in 15 minutes if she kept running. Her chest started hurting more, she felt like she was going to throw up but she kept running. She didn't really know why she was running, she was afraid of something, trying to get away from it. Her lungs were burning by the time she got to Nicky's, she started banging her fists on the door, "Nicky! It's Alex, let me in!" Eventually Nicky opened the door, "Fuck Vause, what's going on?"

Alex burst through the front door and got on her knees, her breathing was out of control, "I need something Nick, please….please."

Nicky knew what Alex wanted, but she wasn't sure she should give it to her, "are you sure? Come on man, you've been doing really good lately, what if we just have some beers and talk." Nicky knelt next to Alex and rubbed her back.

Alex could feel the tears stinging her eyes, she couldn't take this pain anymore, the tears started falling from her eyes and hitting the floor, "I can't do this Nicky, please." Alex couldn't stop the tears, and she buried her face in Nicky's wild hair as she desperately hung onto her. Nicky pulled Alex into her lap, they were still sitting on the floor, "Ok Alex, hey, it's ok, I got you." After a few more minutes on the floor, Nicky spoke again, "I'll get you a bump, that will help you relax."

"No, I need more than a bump Nick."

Nicky could see the pain in Alex's eyes, but she had to draw the line, "No Alex, I'm not letting you inject anything, any amount. Diane and Piper would fucking kill me. Let's just do some bumps ok, I don't even have needles anyway." Nicky got up to get her stash, she placed the small tin on her kitchen table along with a couple beers. She pulled Alex off the floor and sat her in a kitchen chair, handing her a beer, which Alex sipped slowly, "Here's the deal, we do some bumps, then you tell me what the hell is going on?"

Alex would have said yes to anything at this point, "deal." Nicky opened the small tin and placed a small amount of heroin on her thumb, which she quickly inhaled. She passed it to Alex, who did the same, with a desperate look on her face. She went to do more when Nicky grabbed her hand, "not yet." Nicky led Alex into her room, where they both lay on the bed. Alex placed her head on Nicky's stomach as she looked up at the ceiling, like she had done so many times before. Nicky could tell the drugs were kicking in, Alex already looked calmer. Both girls snorted more heroin, then Nicky started talking, "So what happened Vause?"

Alex just kept staring at the ceiling, "that fucking therapist, she kept going on about how I'd been sexually abused, I just couldn't fucking listen to it. All I could see was the same fucking pictures in my head of when he'd get on top of me and…. I couldn't fucking move."

"And then you put yourself in a shit situation to make sure he'd be out of the house, you're fucking brave Alex."

"Then why do I feel so weak? I felt fine until that fucking therapy session, I can't be fucking falling apart right now. Piper is having a rough time at the moment, I need to keep it together to support her. She's always scraping me off the floor, holding me together, she'll get sick of it eventually."

Nicky took hold of Alex's hand, "that's where you're wrong Vause, stop putting yourself down." Alex didn't respond, she took another bump and went to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror, her eyes were red and swollen and her hair was a mess. She leant against the closed door and slid to the floor. That last bump was really kicking in, and Alex had completely lost touch with reality. She needed to feel something else, something other than the emotional pain that was killing her. She needed to stop the worry about Robbie still being out there, and Emily who wouldn't stop calling her. In the corner of her eye, she noticed Nicky's pocket knife next to the sink. Alex leaned over and grabbed the knife, flicking it open. It's like she wasn't even aware of her next movements, as she unzipped her jeans and slid them down to her knees. She took the knife and started running it along her inner thigh. Then, without even thinking, she pushed harder until the knife cut into her skin and she dragged it across her thigh. "Fuck" she thought to herself, it hurt, but it was also a relief. She wiped the knife clean and pulled her jeans back up before she went back to Nicky's room.

 **A/N**

 **Hi folks,**

 **Hope everyone enjoyed the holidays** **J**

 **It won't always be bad for Alex, things will get better for her, but I feel the reality is that life is very up and down. So Alex will have good days, and bad ones, she's a teenager having a tough time so nothing is straight forward. Thanks again to those have followed, favd and reviewed.**

 **Cheers.**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 – don't give up

Alex finished her beer when she went back into Nicky's room, then lay back down on the bed. Nicky was half asleep, Alex rolled over and spooned Nicky until she fell asleep. Both girls woke up around 5pm to the sound of Alex's phone ringing, it was Piper. Alex sighed, she put the phone down without answering, Nicky was still asleep. Alex woke up 2 hours later, she grabbed her phone, she had 5 missed calls from Piper and 2 from Diane, "Fuck." She rolled over and saw that Nicky was still asleep, Alex was about to try and go back to sleep when she thought she heard the front door close. She brushed it off, assuming she was hearing things. She closed her eyes again, she just wanted to go back to sleep, she was still feeling the effects of the drugs and beer, she was in no mood to be awake. Just as Alex was drifting off to sleep the bedroom door swung open loudly, and Alex and Nicky both sat up in bed. Piper was standing in the doorway, she looked angry.

"Why the fuck have you been ignoring my phone calls Alex?" The truth was that Piper was trying to call Alex to see how the therapy session went. When Alex didn't answer her phone, Piper started to worry. It took Alex a moment to register what was happening, everything looked blurry when she opened her eyes, Nicky wasn't any better.

"Piper?" Alex managed to croak out, her voice barely recognisable. Nicky was sitting up in the bed, but didn't say anything.

"Yes Alex, it's me. What the fuck have you been doing all day? I kept calling you but you never answered. Then I called your mum, she told me she hadn't seen you all day, and you didn't answer her calls either." Piper's eyes drifted to Nicky's bedside table, where she saw the familiar small tin with white powder spread around it. Piper's heart sank, she really thought Alex was doing well, she didn't think she'd turn back to heroin this quickly. Piper couldn't help but be angry at Nicky for giving Alex such easy access to drugs. Piper's eyes then moved to the two girls on the bed. Alex was now lying back down with her arms over her face. Piper's eyes were then drawn to the large red stain on Alex's jeans that was seeping from the inside of her thigh.

"Alex, what the hell happened today?" Piper sat on the side of the bed next to Alex, who just kept her arms over face. She was ashamed, Piper wasn't meant to see her like this. When she realised Alex wasn't going to answer her, she turned to Nicky, "you need to tell me what happened today."

Nicky rubbed her eyes and stood up, gesturing for Piper to follow her to the balcony. As soon as they were outside, Nicky lit a cigarette, inhaling deeply. "I'll tell you what happened, but you have to promise to keep your cool with Alex. She's not doing so good right now, she's probably lying there right now freaking out about your reaction."

Piper stared Nicky down, "you're not really in a position to be making requests right now Nicky. I'm not going to just go in there and tell her this is all ok, because it's not. And you are not helping her by letting her come here to do drugs!"

Nicky just shook her head at this, "you don't get it Piper! If she didn't come here and get it from me, she'd hit the streets and get it from someone else. Someone else who's probably not a nice person, if you catch my drift."

"And did you ever consider trying to tell her that she shouldn't be relying on drugs when life gets tough?"

"You don't fucking get it asshole! It's not that easy. Look, she burst into my apartment this afternoon after her therapy session, which by the way, went fucking horribly. She came in the front door, got on her fucking knees and BEGGED me to help her. I asked if she was sure, told her she'd been doing good lately. She fucking pleaded with me, she was totally freaked out! So yeah, in that moment, I gave it to her, but I kept control of the amount ok, I didn't let her go overboard."

Piper was still angry with Nicky, and no matter what she said, Piper would never agree with Nicky's methods of helping Alex. "She will never get better if you keep saying yes to her, never." Piper walked past Nicky, back into the house. She walked back into the bedroom and sat next to Alex, she really wanted to yell right now, but she kept reminding herself that she wouldn't get through to Alex that way. She pulled Alex's arms off her face, looking back to the red stain on her jeans, "Alex, what happened to your leg?"

Alex just looked back at Piper, confused, "What? Nothing happened to my leg." Then Alex looked down and saw the blood that had seeped through her jeans, after a few moments she remembered what she did, "Fuck!" Alex felt completely defeated in that moment, she had no fight left. She rolled over so she didn't have to look at Piper.

"No Alex, don't you remember what I said to you last time? You don't get to give up when you've decided life is too hard. You don't get to do this to me Alex!"

"Just go Piper, just go. I'm no good Piper, just leave me alone."

This just made Piper even more angry. She had trusted Alex with her heart, and she sure as hell wasn't going to turn her back on it all now. Her anger started to mix with tears as she kept speaking.

"Fuck you Alex! I will not let you do this! Look at the bigger picture here, what about Lucy? You're like a second mother to her, if you give up, it'll destroy her. She can't live without you Alex…..neither can I. So you are gonna get up, and you're gonna fucking talk to me, please." Alex could see Piper was crying, she looked at her face and saw the cut still prominent on her cheek. It took her back to that day at the Chapman's house. She promised to look after Piper, promised that they'd always take care of each other. Alex got up and wrapped her arms tightly around Piper, trying to comfort her, "I'm so sorry Pipes. I fucked up really bad today, I'm so fucking sorry. But I don't wanna give up Pipes, I can't give up." The two girls sat there wrapped in each other, until Piper finally pulled back, "let me see your leg."

Alex just nodded, she stood up and undid her jeans, and slowly pulled them down. She stood up so Piper could see where the blood was coming from. Piper placed a hand on Alex's thigh and saw the cut, it had obviously bled a lot but seemed to have stopped. "How did this happen?"

Alex looked down at Piper's face as she pulled her jeans back up, Piper already knew the answer, "I….. I did it to myself. I was pretty fucked up at the time, I didn't even really know what I was doing. I've never done it before Piper, I promise it won't happen again. And please, don't tell Diane about this, it will just upset her. She's got enough to deal with right now."

Piper cried more when Alex confirmed how her leg was hurt. Alex went to hug her again but Piper pushed her away, "No, just fuck off Alex…..why?"

"I…I just didn't know what else to do. I know it sounds stupid but I can't explain it any better. But it won't happen again."

"You keep saying that, that these things won't happen again. But they do Alex." Piper was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring off into space.

Alex knelt down in front of her, placing her head in Piper's lap, "Please Piper, please don't give up on me, I fucking need you. You're the only one that's ever thought I was worth anything." Alex could feel Piper slowly running her hands through her long dark hair.

"This is it Alex, you need to try harder, understand? If you do this behind my back again, I don't know what I'll do. Fucking call me next time, don't come here."

"I will ok, I will." Alex still had her head in Piper's lap, and now wrapped her arms around Piper's waist. This was one of the scariest moments of her life. She knew she had come close to losing Piper, she couldn't let that happen. "Please Piper, look at me," Alex pleaded with her girlfriend, who was staring into space.

Piper pulled Alex up to face her, "I'm just feeling a bit lost Al, I don't know how to help you."

This made Alex's heart sink, "I'm a fuck up, but you have no idea how much you have helped me. If I didn't have you, I don't know how I would've coped these last few months." She said her next words through tears, "please don't give up on me Piper. I know I can get better and make you happy."

Piper knew that Alex did make her happy. If Piper ever needed her, Alex was always there. She felt like she had gained a new family, a new and better life through Alex, Diane and Lucy. She didn't want to lose any of that, but she also didn't want to sit by and watch Alex destroy herself. "I won't give up if you don't." Before Piper had even finished saying this, Alex hugged her tightly, "I won't."

 **0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

The two girls spent the next few hours talking about what had happened that day, focussing on how Alex had reacted to the therapy session. Piper would call Danny the next day and try to rearrange the session. "I feel like an ungrateful asshole. I know Danny did me a favour by getting me into that session, and I just walked out. I just lost my mind."

"He'll understand Alex, he's not a bad guy. We'll take it slowly, the therapy will help." It was about 11pm when Alex and Piper got back to the Vause apartment. They had a shower together first, which in itself felt so calming for Piper, it was a chance for them to reconnect at the most basic human level. Piper washed away the blood from Alex's thigh, trying to be gentle. They then got ready for bed. Tonight, Piper got in the bed first, lying against the wall. Tonight, Piper lifted up the sheet for Alex to slip in beside her. Tonight, Piper wrapped her arms around Alex from behind, and didn't let go all night.

 **A/N**

 **Hi folks,**

 **Apologies for the shorter chapter, but I wanted to finish off the confrontation between Alex and Piper, and have it sit in its own chapter. Let me know what you thoughts about Piper's reaction.**

 **The next chapter will focus on Piper's actual birthday, and Emily.**

 **Cheers.**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 – keep trying

In the next week leading up to Piper's birthday, Alex spent most of her spare time thinking about how she could show Piper how much she meant to her. Money was tight at the moment, and most of Alex's wages went towards helping Diane pay the bills and buy whatever Lucy needed for school. She knew Piper understood that she didn't have much money at the moment, but Alex still wished she could buy Piper something nice. Ever since that night at Nicky's house, Alex did everything she could to try and make it up to Piper, all she wanted to do was show Piper how much she loved her. Piper agreed to not tell Diane about the heroin or the cut on Alex's leg, but Alex did talk to Diane about how she had run out of the therapy session. Danny was trying to reschedule the session, which just made Alex embarrassed about the whole situation. Through it all, Alex kept reminding herself that she couldn't lose Piper, that's what kept her going.

Each night before they went to sleep, Alex and Piper would talk while they lay in bed together. Sometimes the conversation would be completely trivial, other times Alex opened up to Piper about how she felt during the day. It slowly became a new ritual for them as the week went on, and it always ended with Alex falling asleep with her head on Pipers chest. Ever since their confrontation at Nicky's, Piper took the week one day at a time. She appreciated those quiet moments between them in bed, but she still felt an underlying fear. A fear that made her hold onto Alex tight while she slept.

It was Thursday morning, Piper's birthday was the next day. As Alex sat with Diane before they both went to work, all she could think about was how to make the day special for Piper. "I want to make the day perfect for her mum, show her how much I love her. I want her to feel like the most important person in the world."

This made Diane smile, she knew a lot of people just looked at Alex as a trouble maker, but Piper brought out the best in her. And Diane knew that Alex meant every word, "You will sweetie. You take her out during the day, then bring her back here for dessert."

 **0-0-0-0-0-0**

Alex was feeling nervous as she knocked on Piper's door the next day, she had never felt this nervous over a girl before. Piper opened the door and looked beautiful as always. Her hair was pulled into a loose bun, and she was wearing a light sundress. Alex couldn't stop smiling when she saw her, "happy birthday beautiful," Alex immediately leaned into Piper and kissed her slowly. Now Piper was the one who couldn't stop smiling, "so, where are you taking me?"

Alex just smirked at her, "now that, is a secret."

Alex drove Piper to their final destination, keeping her blindfolded the whole way. It was only a 15 minute car ride, but to Alex it felt like forever. They eventually got there, Alex stopped the car and went around the car to open Piper's door. She led Piper a few steps away from the car and undid the blindfold. Piper opened her eyes and looked around, they were in a small park, where everything was green. There was a small pond in front of them, with huge willow trees surrounding it. The trees had enormous roots lying just above the ground, creating the perfect place for them to sit. Alex brought Piper over to one of these trees, where they sat amongst the roots. Piper wrapped her arms around Alex's neck and kissed her softly, "it's beautiful here Alex, I love it."

Alex thought Piper would like it here, but she still wanted to explain why this place was so important to her, "I thought you'd like it here. Look…..you know money is tight at the moment, and I feel really shitty that I couldn't spoil you the way you deserve, but I still wanted to make this a special day."

Piper just smiled as she kissed Alex again, "Al, you do spoil me, money doesn't matter. No one has ever spoilt me the way you do, no one has ever given me this much of their love."

"Then everyone else is crazy." Alex couldn't stop herself from leaning into Piper, and tracing kisses from her collarbone, slowly up her neck and eventually to her lips. She pulled away before things got too heated, "Since I can't buy you any fancy presents, I decided to write you this instead." Alex reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of paper she had folded into small pieces, she handed it to Piper, who eagerly unravelled the paper so she could read her girlfriend's words.

 _Piper_

 _I never actually believed people like you existed, no one else has ever made me feel the way you do. You make me feel like there's no one else in the world, like so long as I have you, nothing else matters. Those silent moments we spend together, whether it's in bed, on the couch watching a movie, or driving home after work, those moments are the most important. Those moments prove to me that we belong together. There doesn't need to be any words, there doesn't need to be any plans, so long as we're together, I feel whole. You put up with my antics, while dealing with a million other things, and you never miss a beat. Seriously, how do you do that?_

 _You are so brave Piper, never forget that. You're chasing your dreams, which is more than most people will ever attempt. You stood up to your parents, and you've even given Nicky a run for her money! You fit so perfectly into my life, it's hard to believe you haven't always been a part of it. I know I'm not always the easiest person to be around, but you've never given up on me, even when most others would have. You see the good things in me, the things that sometimes I lose sight of, but you never do. You see the good in all people, see the things in themselves that they forgot were there. You are patient, and kind, and incredibly beautiful. All I want to do is spend the rest of my days making you happy. I don't have much money, but I do love you more than I thought possible, I can't imagine my life without you. I will always protect you, will always try to make you feel like the most important person in the world._

 _I've brought you to one of my favourite places, one of the few places where I feel at peace, and a place that I have never brought another person. Diane brought me here to tell me she was pregnant with Lucy. Things had been tough for a while, we'd moved around a lot, and we'd just moved into our current apartment. I was almost 10 years old, and a pain in the ass! Diane was worried about how I would react, so she brought me here to tell me I'd have a little sister in 6 months time. I remember that day so vividly, she told me she was having a baby, a little girl. She had already decided on the name Lucy. I didn't say much at first, then she told me how important it was to be a big sister, how the strong bond between us would be completely inevitable, how that bond has a special type of love. Then, after Lucy was born, I just instantly loved her, that's the only way I can explain it. Ever since that first time Diane brought me here, it has been a special place for me. It's a place that has always reminded me how important love is, how some bonds are just meant to be, how some people will always be a part of your life. I've come here a lot over the last 10 years, it always calms me down._

 _When I was thinking about what to do for your birthday, it made so much sense to bring you here. From that first night I saw you, I knew it was inevitable that I would talk to you, it was inevitable that you would become a part of my life. I started falling in love with you from that very first night, and I knew we would always be a part of each other's lives. Now, with you here, I feel even closer to you._

 _Never forget that I would do anything for you, I love you more than I can ever put into words. Happy birthday Pipes._

 _Love, Alex._

Piper held the page to her chest as she looked at Alex, "this means more to me than any present you could buy. No one has ever done something like this for me, or written things like this for me. I don't even know what to say, I love you Al." Piper leaned over for another hug and kiss. She was completely taken aback by Alex's letter and that she had brought her to this place. This gesture meant more than she could ever express through words, it made her fall in love with Alex even more. Piper was overcome with emotion, and felt a few silent tears roll down her cheeks as she kept her lips pressed against Alex's.

Alex wiped away Piper's tears, "I hope those are happy tears." Piper just nodded as she laughed at herself. "Well, don't go anywhere, I have another surprise for you." Alex ran back to the car to get the supplies she brought along. A few of the girls at the café insisted on helping Alex buy some picnic supplies, they would not take no for an answer. Alex was overwhelmed by their generosity, she couldn't express how much she appreciated it, none of them had much money. She walked back to Piper and laid out a picnic rug in-between the tree roots. She then pulled out a bottle of white wine, with a selection of cheeses, crackers and olives.

"Alex, this is perfect! Did I mention that I love you?" Piper couldn't keep the smile off her face as she leaned over to cut herself some cheese as Alex poured the wine.

Alex smirked as she replied, "you may have mentioned it." The two girls spent the next 3 hours in the park, enjoying their wine and nibbles, and talking about everything and anything. Piper was sitting in between Alex's legs, leaning back into her chest as the sun set in front of them, "Al, this has been the best birthday I've ever had. You've made me feel more special today than I ever have before. I know I've said it a lot today, but I really fucking love you." Piper leaned back into Alex so she could reach her lips. The two girls sat under the tree and continued to kiss as the sun went down.

 **0-0-0-0-0-0**

After the sun went down, the two girls headed back to their apartment building. Alex knew that Lucy had gotten Diane to help her bake a chocolate cake for Piper, and Lucy had made some of her own birthday decorations. Alex had also arranged for Danny to be at the apartment, she wanted at least one of Piper's family members to be there, and Alex had a lot to thank Danny for.

As soon as Alex opened the front door for Piper to walk into the apartment, Lucy ran straight into her, giving her a hug, "Happy birthday Piper! Look, we made you a cake." Piper looked towards the kitchen table and saw Diane and Danny standing there. Piper knelt down and hugged Lucy back, trying to hold back her tears. "Hey, why are you crying?" Lucy whispered into her ear.

"It's ok Lucy, I'm just happy, thank you so much for the surprise." Piper hugged Lucy tight before standing up and hugging Diane and Danny. They all sat around the small table, ate their cake and enjoyed the time together, laughing. After a couple of hours Danny left, Lucy was exhausted and fell asleep with her head on the kitchen table. Piper got up and put her arms around the little girl, "I'll put her to bed." Piper picked Lucy up and headed to her bedroom, carefully lying her down on the bed. Piper took off her shoes and socks and tucked her into the covers. Just as Piper was about to get up and leave the room, Lucy put her arms around her neck, "I hope you had a good birthday Piper, I love you."

This made Piper's heart swell, "I had the best day ever, I love you too." Piper headed back to the kitchen and passed Diane on the way, "I'm calling it a night sweetie."

"Goodnight Diane, thank you again for tonight, you don't know how much it means to me." The older woman just smiled at Piper and squeezed her hand before walking to her room. Piper found Alex clearing the last few dishes. Piper walked up behind her, wrapping her arms around her waist, inhaling the smell of her hair, "thank you for organising all this. It was perfect." Alex turned around, placing her hands on Piper's hips before pulling her into a kiss. "You deserved to have a perfect birthday. I know I really put you through a lot lately and I want to make it all up to you." Piper took Alex by the hand and led her to bed.

 **0-0-0-0-0-0**

Alex woke up the next morning to Piper straddling her lap, softly kissing her on the mouth, "last night wasn't enough for you Pipes?" Alex smiled into the kiss as Piper kept going, "it's never enough," replied Piper, and she really meant it, she couldn't even describe what it felt like when she had sex with Alex. Just a few moments later, Alex's phone rang, "just ignore it Pipes, do not stop what you're doing." Piper's eyes momentarily moved to the side table where Alex's phone was, she noticed who the caller was, "it's Emily."

"Fucking hell, just ignore it." Alex did not want this morning's wake up call to be interrupted by Emily of all people.

"You know she won't stop calling, just answer."

Alex signed dramatically as she leaned over and answered the phone. Piper could see the frustration on her face, but this was something they needed to deal with. Alex ended the conversation quickly, turning to Piper when she was done, "well, you got your wish, we're meeting her for a coffee today."

 **0-0-0-0-0-0**

Piper and Alex sat in the coffee shop as they waited for Emily, Piper could see how nervous Alex was, she wouldn't stop fidgeting, "it'll be ok Al, I'm right here with you remember." Alex just nodded, but didn't say anything. She just wanted this meeting to be over, meeting Emily just reminded her about all the things she was trying to forget. After another ten minutes, Emily finally arrived, sliding into the other side of the booth Piper and Alex were sitting at.

"Look, I really appreciate you both agreeing to meet me. I know I've been completely out of line the last two times we met, I'm really sorry. I know I have a problem, I'm really trying to stay clean." If anything, this should have been an issue Alex could relate to, but she didn't have any patience for this girl.

"Look, just say what you want to say, ok. Let's get this over with." Alex squeezed Piper's hand under the table, the meeting had only just started and she was already feeling anxious.

"Ok, I won't keep you long, but you need to know this. Robbie went to see my mum again. Well, he didn't really want to see her, he just wanted to collect more of his old stuff. Anyway, he told her that he wants to try and get Diane back, that he misses her."

Alex's anxiety quickly turned to anger as she leaned over the table and raised her voice, "what the fuck are you talking about?" Piper immediately placed her hand on Alex's shoulder, she knew how quickly things could escalate, and she wanted to keep Alex calm. "It's ok Al, just stay calm." Piper rubbed Alex's arm and eventually, she sat back down.

"I swear I'm not lying. He…..he was talking about going to see Diane again, trying to fix the relationship. I just wanted to warn you, that's all. Maybe you should call the cops, I don't know. I just wanted you to have all the information. My mum is drinking a lot at the moment, so I wasn't sure if she'd reach out to Diane." Now it was Emily who wouldn't stop fidgeting, "I know what he's capable of, so please, just be careful. I don't know where he's been hiding. I haven't said anything to the police yet, I wanted to talk to you first. I didn't want to make things worse for you guys."

Alex's heart was racing, her first instinct was to get up and run, run out of that café, run to Nicky's place. But she knew she couldn't do that again, she couldn't do that to Piper. Instead she put her head on the table and started breathing heavily, Piper was immediately worried and started rubbing Alex's back in long, gentle motions, "are you ok baby?" Alex just nodded her head and tried to slow down her breathing, Emily just sat there and watched. After a few moments, Alex managed to calm herself down. She raised her head from the table and buried it in Piper's shoulder, wrapping her arms around her. Piper pulled Alex in tight, rubbing her back, "it's ok Al, we'll sort this out."

Emily slowly got out of the booth, "I'm really sorry, I'll leave you alone." Emily slowly walked out of the café, leaving Piper and Alex alone. Alex was still clutching onto Piper, she didn't know what to do, she felt frozen, "this is the type of moment when I'd usually go do something stupid."

Piper lifted up Alex's face and looked her in the eye, "you've got me, I know how hard you're trying. Let's go take a walk and calm down. Then we can decide what to do." Piper led Alex out of the café and they started walking back to the apartment block. She was trying to keep all her focus on Alex, but she was petrified of what Robbie would do next. All she knew was that they had to go to the police, and quickly.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 – coming home

Piper walked Alex back to the apartment, it was Sunday afternoon and Diane was working. Lucy was spending the afternoon at a friend's house, so the apartment was empty. Piper led Alex into the apartment and sat her on the couch. Alex was calmer, but she wasn't talking. Piper knelt in front of her, putting her hands on Alex's knees, "Al, look at me, how are you feeling?"

Alex just shook her head, "fuck, I'm just…..I'm angry Pipes. I'm angry that the fucking cops never caught that asshole, and now he's gonna fucking come back! I will fucking kill him if he does anything to Diane. We have to call the police now." Alex got up and started pacing the room, just constantly shaking her head. Piper was worried about what Alex would do, she grabbed her arm to stop her from pacing. "We will call the police right now ok, but you have to promise me you won't do anything stupid ok. Please Alex…..please calm down."

Alex sat back down on the couch and tried to slow down her mind, she needed to get back some control before they called the police. Piper took out her phone and asked Alex for the phone number of the officer they had previously dealt with, "do you want me make the call?" Alex just nodded in reply, she wanted to get it over and done with, she would tell Diane later. Alex sat in silence while Piper spoke to the police, she knelt in front of Alex again once she hung up, "they want us to meet them at the station now to give them all the information. Are you ok to do that? Or do you want to stay here?"

Alex didn't hesitate in her response, "no, I don't want to be alone, I'll come." Piper held Alex's hand as she drove them to the police station, Alex was quiet for the entire drive. Twenty minutes later they were sitting in a meeting room at the police station, waiting for an officer to speak with them. Eventually a man entered the room that neither girl recognised, "you must be Piper and Alex, I'm Detective Andrews, I've been assigned to this case. Now, I understand you have some new information you want to discuss?"

Piper, still holding Alex's hand, did all the talking, "yes, we've been told that Robbie wants to get back together with Diane Vause, Alex's mum. We're worried he might just show up at the apartment, or Diane's work."

The detective listened to Piper as he took notes, "and how did you hear this?"

Piper wasn't sure if this would get Emily or her mum into trouble, but she wasn't going to lie to the police, "Robbie's daughter told us, I think she heard it from her mum. But her mum doesn't know where he's hiding."

The detective just kept making notes, "ok, we'll need to talk to these people, I'll get their details from you before you leave. I know it's been a frustrating few months for you, but I assure you we're doing all we can. We'll contact you again once we've spoken to Mr Green's daughter."

Piper just nodded and provided Emily's contact details before leaving, still holding Alex's hand. Alex finally spoke when they were back in the car, "we were in there for 5 minutes, they hardly asked any questions, it's like they don't even fucking care!"

"They probably just want to talk to Emily to get the details, he can't hide forever Alex." Piper was trying to reassure Alex, but deep down she agreed with her. Before she could say anything more, Alex's phone rang, "Hey Luce," Piper was glad Lucy had called Alex, it would be a good distraction for her. Lucy wanted to be picked up from her friend's house, which was only 10 minutes away. As usual, Lucy was already in the front yard when Piper pulled into the driveway and wasted no time running to the car.

Piper and Alex smiled as Lucy got in the car, sometimes Lucy was the only one that could get Alex to smile, "Hi Lucy, how was your day?"

"Hi Piper, yeah it was ok I guess."

"Your mum's working late tonight, I was thinking we could pick up some pizza for dinner?"

"Yes! But only if we go to Gilbert Street." Piper just laughed, Lucy refused to get pizza from anywhere else. Alex just smiled, but still didn't say anything, which didn't go unnoticed by Lucy.

"How was your day Ally?"

"It was good kid, but I could definitely use a relaxing pizza and movie night." Alex smiled back at her sister, but she still couldn't shake the fear that Robbie would just appear at their apartment any day.

 **0-0-0-0-0-0**

Two hours later and all 3 girls made themselves comfortable in the lounge room as they watched TV. Piper sat in the arm chair, while Alex and Lucy took the couch. Alex sat on one end of the couch, while Lucy lay down with her head in Alex's lap. Alex kept subconsciously running her hands through Lucy's dark hair, glad to have her sister so close. Diane was working a double shift and wouldn't be home until midnight, Alex hated having to wait that long to tell her mum about what happened during the day. Then, Alex was pulled out of her thoughts by Lucy, "Ally, do you think the police will ever catch Robbie?"

Alex froze momentarily, before she answered, "Yeah, I do kid. He can't hide forever. Everything ok?"

"Yeah, I just worry sometimes that they'll never catch him. And everything's changed, mum works all the time again, I miss her."

Alex knew Lucy was missing Diane, but hearing her say it just made her heart sink, "don't think like that Luce, they'll catch him. And in the meantime, you've got me for protection, ok. I know it sucks that mum works so much right now, but I promise it won't always be like that."

Lucy just nodded in reply, "can I sleep with you tonight?"

This made Alex smile, "of course. So what type of pizza should we get for dinner? What do you feel like Pipes?"

Before Piper could answer Lucy shouted over the top of both of them, "supreme!"

 **0-0-0-0-0-0**

It approached 10pm and Lucy was fast asleep on the couch, Piper and Alex were in the kitchen clearing up the pizza boxes and plates, "I'll sleep at my place tonight, give you and Lucy some space."

"You don't need to do that Pipes."

"I know, but I think Lucy needs some alone time with you."

"Ok," Alex knew Piper would be more comfortable in her own bed, but she still wanted her to stay. She pulled Piper in for a long kiss before wrapping her arms around her waist and hugging her tight.

"Love you Pipes."

"I love you too. I'm gonna head to bed, call me if you guys need anything ok." With that, Piper went to her own apartment. It felt weird being there, she hardly spent any time there anymore, she spent all her time in the Vause apartment, it felt like her home now.

Meanwhile, Alex knelt next to Lucy on the couch, who was still asleep, "Lucy, time for bed." Lucy slowly opened her eyes and looked at Alex, "I don't want to sleep alone."

"You won't be alone Luce, you'll be with me." Alex picked Lucy up from the couch and walked to her room. Once they had both changed into their sleep clothes they cuddled together in bed, it was cold that night, Lucy wanted another blanket. Alex put her arms around Lucy to keep her warm, "Love you Luce." She felt the 10 year old relax in her arms as she slowly drifted off to sleep.

 **0-0-0-0-0-0**

It was 11pm when Alex could hear someone knocking on the front door, she just assumed Diane had forgotten her keys. Alex got out of bed slowly, careful to not wake up Lucy. She opened the door, not even paying attention to who it could be. Before she actually properly registered who was standing in front of her, she was pushed back into the apartment by strong hands, "what the FUCK are you doing here?" She couldn't believe it, standing in front of her was Robbie, acting like nothing had ever happened.

"Not that it's any of your business Alex, but I'm here to see your mum. Thought I'd have the best chance of catching her later at night, given all the extra hours she's probably working now." He stood there with a smug look on his face, standing over Alex, trying to intimidate her. Of course Robbie scared Alex, but she knew she had to hold her nerve, and she couldn't let him know Lucy was in the apartment.

"She's not here, so just turn the fuck around and get out of here." Alex spoke through her clenched jaw. Part of her wanted him to stay so she could contact the police, the other part just wanted him gone.

Robbie stepped closer to Alex, shoving her backwards, "didn't you learn your lesson last time you spoke to me like that?"

Alex just scoffed, "what? When you put me in the hospital? You're a fucking coward, I don't know where you've been hiding since that night, but you can't stay on the run forever."

"That's nice Alex, real nice. But see, I'm not here to talk to you, so you'd better just shut the fuck up. Once I've spoken to Diane, this whole mess will be resolved." Before Alex could respond, the front door opened again, except this time it was Diane who walked through it, looking surprised that the door wasn't locked. As soon as Diane looked ahead and realised who was in the apartment she froze, she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Her thoughts immediately went to the safety of her daughters, "Alex, are you ok?" Alex just nodded in reply. Diane knew she had to stay calm, she didn't know what Robbie was capable of. She could feel him starting at her, watching her every move.

"I haven't touched her Diane, I'm here to see you." Robbie looked like he was almost pleading with Diane, he would do anything to get time alone with her.

"Just go, get away from her and go." Diane was fighting back tears, but she would not let them fall. She had balled her hands into fists and could feel her nails digging into her palms.

"Why won't you just listen to me! I need you Diane, I don't want this to end. What happened wasn't my fault." Alex could sense Robbie was getting upset as she felt him grab a hold of her arm roughly and pull her next to him. "I don't want things to end like they did last time, you WILL talk to me Diane." Robbie knew how easy it would be to use Alex's safety to force Diane to speak with him, that's all he cared about.

"Don't you touch her, or I swear I will kill you." Diane's voice quivered slightly, she had no idea how to defuse the situation before it ended in violence. Before Diane could say anything else Robbie pulled Alex closer to him again and backhanded her across the face as hard as he could. He kept a tight grip on her arm to stop her from falling to the ground. She lost her footing but he immediately pulled her back up against him as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small knife. Diane felt her heart race as she looked at Alex and saw the blood dripping from the corner of her mouth. Alex tried to keep a determined look on her face, but she felt her emotions get the better of her when she saw the look on Diane's face, how distraught she looked. Alex felt Robbie press the cold blade against her cheek before he spoke again, "I don't want to be the bad guy Diane, I'm not a bad guy. But you really should talk to me, at least for Alex's sake." Once again, Robbie didn't hesitate to use the love between mother and daughter against Diane.

Diane just kept her eyes on Alex, she wasn't willing to risk her daughter's safety, "let her go, and we can talk."

"First, lock the door behind you and give me your keys and your phone." Diane quickly did what Robbie wanted, then turned back to look at him. He shoved Alex hard in the back, forcing her to stumble to her knees towards Diane. Diane quickly ran to Alex to help her stand, before pulling her into an incredibly tight hug.

Alex whispered into Diane's ear, "I'm ok mum, but we need to call the police, and Lucy is asleep in my room." Diane forced herself to pull back from the hug as she looked at her daughters face. Robbie was getting impatient as he hurried them into the lounge room, dragging a kitchen chair with him. He removed several zip ties from his pocket as he proceeded to use them to tie Alex's hands and legs to the chair. The plastic ties were tight, and Alex could already feel them cutting into her skin. Before he was done, he ordered Diane into the room he used to share with her, and Diane felt a sinking feeling in her stomach, "I'm not leaving you alone with her."

Robbie had no intention of physically hurting Diane, but she was testing his patience as he spat his next words at her, "get in that fucking room or I WILL hurt her!"

Alex wanted to keep Robbie calm, she did not want to think about her mum being locked in a room with this maniac when he was at his angriest. "It's fine mum, I'll be fine." Diane kept trying to hold back her tears as she walked into her room feeling completely helpless. Robbie had already taken her mobile phone from her, so he knew she couldn't call the police. He kept talking to Alex as he finished tightening the plastic ties around her wrists, "thanks for the help there Alex, didn't think I'd ever be saying thanks to one of your kind." Alex just kept looking him in the eye without speaking, she knew she would just make him angry if she said anything. "It didn't have to be this way Alex, all you had to do was stay out of my way, and keep your lifestyle out of this fucking apartment. But you always were selfish, no wonder your dead beat dad never stuck around." These words hurt Alex more than she cared to admit, but she still wouldn't let herself lash out, not when there was so much at stake.

"Still not talking huh? That's ok, that works well for me. But you see, I still gotta make sure you don't make any trouble for me while I'm talking with your mum." He could now see the panic in her eyes, and he loved every minute of it. He moved close to her face, so close that she could smell him and feel his breathe on her neck, "Don't worry, it'll only hurt for a second." Alex didn't have time to think before he punched her hard in the jaw, causing her head to snap to the side before she lost consciousness, her head now hanging forward. He just stood there and looked at what he had done, looking at Alex's motionless body as the blood dripped from her nose and mouth. After he was satisfied that she was out cold, he went into the bedroom to speak with Diane.

 **0-0-0-0-0-0**

"I love you Diane, we were good together. Why are you so determined to demonise me because of what happened with Alex, give her some of the blame!"

Diane just looked at him with pure anger, "You want me to blame my child for the fact that you abused her?"

"She's exaggerating Diane! I never abused her."

"You fucking hit her!" Diane's voice was starting to quiver. "You hit my daughter, you kicked her, you put your hands around her neck. You….touched her."

"I was just trying to set her straight Diane! You let her run around, bringing girls home, what kind of example do you think that sets for Lucy?"

"And what example does it set for Lucy that you put her sister in the hospital?"

"Don't be ridiculous Diane. Look, I came here because I want you back. Why end everything over something like this?"

"You are fucking disgusting. I don't want you back, and I don't want you anywhere near my girls."

"What do I have to do Diane, to prove to you that kid is no good?

 **0-0-0-0-0-0**

Lucy was sleeping soundly in Alex's bed until loud voices and banging startled her, she woke up and realised Alex wasn't next to her anymore. When the sounds didn't stop, Lucy got up and tip toed down the hallway to see what the commotion was all about. It was dark in the lounge room, but she thought she could see a figure in a chair, scaring her, "Alex, is that you?" Lucy was getting worried, and then heard voices coming from Diane's room. Lucy walked closer to the figure in the chair, turning on the lights as she went. Then she stopped, her heart pounded through her whole body, she started to shake. All she saw was her sister, slouched forward in the chair, not moving. Lucy grabbed the spare keys before she ran out the front door to Piper's apartment. "PIPER" she shouted, banging her little fists on the door. "PIPER PLEASE I NEED HELP!"

Piper slowly got up and opened her front door, she hadn't even made it to bed yet and was still sleeping on the couch. She saw Lucy standing there in her pyjamas, crying and petrified. "PIPER! Please Alex is hurt. I don't know what happened please come now!" Piper was stuck to the spot for a moment, all she heard were the words "Alex is hurt", and before she knew it, Lucy grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the Vause apartment. They burst through the front door and Piper gasped. There was Alex, tied to a chair with her head hanging down, not moving, blood on the floor. Piper ran over to Alex and gently touched her face, "Alex, baby, can you hear me?" Tears were now running down her face, "Fuck!" Piper looked more closely to see the tight plastic ties that were holding Alex to the chair. She jumped up and ran into the kitchen to grab a pair of scissors.

Lucy stayed next to Alex, gently rubbing her hand "Ally please wake up," she sobbed, before she heard a small groan come from Alex. "Ally? Are you ok?" Alex didn't respond, but tried to move her head back up. Piper rushed back to the lounge room just as Alex managed to lean her head against the back of the chair, exposing the bruise on the side of her face, "Alex please, what happened?" Piper felt the tears running down her cheeks while Lucy gripped Alex's hand as tightly as she could. Alex tried to move again and groaned in pain. "No Alex, don't move, I'll get you out of this chair first." Piper tried to speak calmly but seeing Alex like this was killing her, it just brought her back to the last time she saw Alex hurt on the kitchen floor. She noticed Alex squeeze Lucy's hand, "hey kid, it's ok. Are you ok?"

"Ally please stay awake, I need you," Piper hated the fact that Lucy was being forced to see Alex like this all over again.

Alex managed to speak again in a strained voice, "it's ok, I promise I'm ok Luce."

Piper took the scissors and carefully cut the plastic ties around Alex's wrists, which had now properly cut into her skin, "Lucy, I need you to help her sit up ok sweetie," Lucy just nodded as she walked behind the chair and placed her arms around Alex's shoulders, helping her to stay upright. Piper then cut the ties around Alex's ankles. She stood up and cradled Alex's face in her hands, "I'm gonna help you over to the couch." Piper leaned down to place her hands under Alex's arms to help lift her up. Alex spoke quietly when she felt Piper's face next to hers, "he's in the bedroom with Diane. Take Lucy back to your apartment and call the cops, we just need to keep quiet." Piper felt a wave of nausea hit her, realising that monster was still in the apartment. She gently lifted Alex and helped her limp towards the couch. Once they were both seated on the couch, Piper took Alex's face in her hands and kissed her gently, not caring about the blood. "Are you sure you're ok?"

Alex nodded, as she gently rubbed Lucy's back while she rested her head in Alex's lap, not wanting to let go. "Get her out of here Pipes."

"You're coming with us!"

"Not yet, he's in there with Diane, I'm not leaving her alone with him!"

"Are you fucking crazy, please just come with us, I can't lose you," Piper could not even fathom how she would cope if something happened to Alex.

"No, I can't do that, just trust me ok, you won't lose me. He's not gonna do anything crazy in front of Diane, but I just can't leave her alone with him." After a lot of persuading, Piper finally agreed to take Lucy to her apartment while they called the police, but Lucy was petrified of Alex not going with them.

She clung onto Alex's legs, afraid that she'd never see Alex again if they parted ways now, "Ally you have to come with us."

"Lucy, I promise you nothing bad will happen to me. You come first, it's my job to protect you remember? That's why I need you to go with Piper so I can make sure mum's ok. You have to trust me kid." Lucy responded by wrapping her arms tightly around Alex before leaving the apartment with Piper. Alex wasn't sure what her plan was from her, but she knew she had to go into that room to make sure Diane was ok.

 **Hey folks,**

 **Hope you've all been well. I don't know why, but it took me ages to get this chapter down. I re-wrote it a few times before I was happy enough to post it. I'm keen to hear your thoughts – did Diane do the right thing by agreeing to talk with Robbie? Should Piper have agreed to leave Alex in the apartment?**

 **Cheers.**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16 – my daughters

Alex watched as Piper led Lucy out of the apartment, trying to gather the courage to go into Diane's room. She felt a huge wave of relief go through her body knowing that Lucy was safe with Piper. She was fairly certain Robbie wouldn't physically hurt Diane, but she wasn't willing to take any chances. Alex was more worried about her mother's mental health, and the long term impact this would have on her. Diane already blamed herself for everything that happened with Robbie so far, and this would just make it worse. Diane also knew that Lucy was sad at not being able to see her as much anymore, which just added to her guilt. But Alex knew how strong Diane was, she would not let this beat them.

Alex slowly walked towards Diane's room, she closed her eyes, trying to gather herself before she walked in. When she finally walked through the door she saw Robbie standing in the corner of the room, while Diane sat on the edge of the bed. It looked like both of them had been crying, neither of them said anything when they saw Alex. She just walked to the bed and sat next to Diane, putting her arm around her, "Mum, are you ok?"

In that moment Diane looked more defeated than Alex had ever seen. She looked exhausted, like she didn't have the energy left to keep trying. Her eyes filled with more distress as she saw the bruise coming up on the side of Alex's face and the blood dripping from her nose. All Diane could do was look at her daughter, and see more pain. See what she believed her actions had done to her daughter. When it became obvious that Diane wasn't going to speak, Alex felt the need to fill the silence, "I'm ok Mum, and Lucy and Piper are ok too." All Diane could do was hold onto Alex's hand as she noticed the fresh cuts around her wrists. All the while Robbie continued to stand in the corner, not moving, saying nothing. This was the first time Alex had seen him looking almost sad. In his own twisted way, he loved Diane, and he was just starting to realise that he would never get her back. He finally looked at Alex, there was still a hint of hatred in his eyes, but it was overshadowed by his own sadness that this time he would not get what he wanted. Although he ultimately still blamed Alex for that. Before Alex could say anything more to Diane, 3 police officers came through the door. This just made Alex hold onto Diane tighter.

Surprisingly, Robbie didn't put up much of a fight, he let the police handcuff him as they led him out of the apartment. Two paramedics also came into the apartment, one police officer stayed behind while the other 2 put Robbie in the police car and drove off. Alex felt like she wasn't really present while all this activity was happening around her. She felt like she was watching it all happen through someone else's eyes, she kept sitting on the bed while one of the paramedics spoke to Diane. The other one knelt in front of Alex, trying to talk to her. Alex couldn't even bring herself to say anything, until she felt a familiar touch on her hands first, and then her lips. She refocussed her eyes just as Piper pulled Alex up into a tight hug. Alex didn't want to let go of that familiar touch, but eventually when she stood back to look Piper in the face, she was swept back into reality. Alex sat back down on the bed with Piper next to her, never once letting go of her hand. Alex finally started to pay attention to the paramedic, "I….I don't want to go to the hospital, I'm fine."

The paramedic, a young man with short brown hair and hazel eyes looked back at her, "Let's just get you cleaned up first then see how you feel." He smiled at her, trying to reassure her, as he tended to her bloody nose and the cut in the corner of her lips. He cleaned and bandaged the cuts on her wrists, luckily she wouldn't need any stitches. When he was done, he still encouraged her to go to the hospital in case she had a concussion, but Alex would not budge, "I told you I feel fine. I promise I'll go to the hospital if I start feeling worse." Over the next hour, Alex and Diane were questioned by the police and the paramedics checked Diane over. Diane still wasn't speaking much, even with Lucy clinging onto her, she just didn't have the energy to speak. The police wanted to talk to Diane more about what happened when she was alone in the bedroom with Robbie. Alex and Piper took Lucy into Alex's room to distract her while the questioning continued. Alex sat on her bed and crossed her legs. She held her arms out to Lucy who didn't hesitate in climbing into Alex's lap. Sometimes it was easy to forget how young Lucy was, and how hard this whole situation had hit her emotionally.

She was speaking now through her tears, she never wanted to let go of Alex again, "Ally….how bad are you hurt?"

"I'm fine kid, I promise, I don't need to go to the hospital. Just a few cuts, that's it."

"I can't lose you Ally, I can't. I got so scared, I didn't know what to do."

"You did the right thing Luce, you went and got Piper. You went with her and called the police, you helped to stop him and end this whole thing. You don't need to worry anymore kiddo, we're all gonna be ok."

Alex kept sitting there with Lucy, trying to comfort her. Ultimately the most comforting thing to Lucy was Alex's presence itself. Right now Alex was functioning on auto pilot, not letting herself process any real emotions, just doing what was needed to get through the night. Eventually, after another couple of hours, the police and the paramedics were gone. Diane was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, Alex was sitting across from her with Lucy on her lap, Piper sitting next to them. It would be a long time before Lucy would let Alex out of her sights. Alex was worried about Diane, it was nearly 4 am and she looked exhausted, she still wasn't saying much. "Mum, what did he say to you in there?"

Diane sighed, and Alex knew she would not say anything tonight, "I'm too tired right now sweetie, I promise we'll talk about it tomorrow. Are you sure you're ok? I can't believe I put you in this situation again." Diane had tears in her eyes as she stared down at her coffee.

"Mum this isn't your fault! You need to stop this, I'm fine, I promise mum, we're all fine."

Diane nodded, "Are you girls gonna be ok if I go to bed?"

"Of course mum. I'll call the diner and tell them you're not going in for your next shift, I'll explain what happened. And I'll call Lucy's teacher, let her know she's having the day off. We all need to sleep. We're all gonna be here, promise me you'll come get me or Piper if you need anything."

Diane got up and kissed both of her daughters and Piper on the forehead, "I promise Ally." Diane made her way to bed. Piper looked to Alex and saw the pain in her eyes, she knew her girlfriend was holding it together for Diane, but was breaking on the inside. She knew all three of them would be staying in Alex's room that night, no one wanted to be alone. Piper looked to Lucy, "tell you what, you go have a shower and get changed. While you're doing that we'll bring your mattress into Alex's room, put it on the floor in there. That way we can all stay together."

Lucy smiled, it's like Piper had read her mind. Lucy jumped down from Alex's lap and went to freshen herself up before trying to go back to sleep again. Piper took Alex's hand and led her into Lucy's room so they could get the mattress. Alex could feel all of her emotions bubbling to the surface, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't hold them in anymore. She leaned against the bedroom wall before sliding down to the floor, covering her face with her hands. Piper had been waiting for this to happen, but she knew she just needed to stand back and let Alex's emotions run their course. All Piper wanted to do was take away Alex's pain, and she hated that she couldn't do that. All Piper could do was be there for her. She sat in front of Alex on the floor and pulled her girlfriend into a hug. Alex initially resisted it, but as soon as she felt the warmth and security of Piper's touch, she let herself fall apart. She rest her head against Piper's chest as she started to sob uncontrollably. Piper felt her own tears sting her eyes, but kept her focus on Alex, softly rubbing her back and kissing the top of her head.

"I'm here Al, I'll always be here, shhh. Baby, don't forget how fucking strong you are. You went through hell tonight, and all you thought about the whole time was protecting the rest of us. I'll hold onto you all night, I promise." Piper just kept holding on Alex, trying to calm her down, but it was useless. She knew all she could do for tonight was be there for Alex, only after a long sleep would Alex be prepared to talk about what happened. Eventually, Alex's sobs became less violent and her breathing slowed down. The soothing feel of Piper's touch and her familiar smell helped Alex to slowly relax, but she still didn't want to leave the comfort of that embrace. Eventually, the two girls got up and dragged Lucy's mattress into the other room, along with a sheet, pillow and blanket. Alex sat on her bed, looking absolutely exhausted. Piper looked at her girlfriend sitting there, still in the sleep clothes she'd gotten into the last time Piper left the apartment, except now there were drops of blood on the plain white t-shirt. Piper was also still in her sleep clothes that she'd changed into earlier, before she fell asleep on her couch. Piper stood in front of Alex and motioned for her to lift her arms. Piper lifted Alex's sleep shirt off her body and threw it into the hamper in the corner. Piper then pulled off her own sleep shirt and slipped it over Alex's head, before grabbing one of Alex's clean shirts for herself.

Alex inhaled the scent of Piper that was now all around her. It was her perfume, her shampoo, her soap, everything that reminded her of Piper. Lucy then walked into the room in her fresh pyjamas and Piper stood up, "here you go Luce, you get into the bed with Alex, I'll take your mattress." Lucy looked at Piper for the longest moment before she spoke, "no, that's ok. I think Ally needs you tonight, I'm ok on my mattress."

Piper and Alex were both shocked, "Don't be silly Lucy."

"No it's ok Piper, I know Ally needs you to be close to her tonight, I'm happy to be in here and not alone in my room." Lucy went and hugged both the older girls goodnight. She went to end her hug with Alex, but the older girl wouldn't let go, "you know I fucking love you right?" Lucy smiled at Alex, "hey, you know mum said you're not allowed to say that word around me." They shared a simple laugh before Lucy got comfortable on her mattress. Piper then made sure Alex got under the covers and hugged her tightly. All three girls gave into their exhaustion as they fell asleep with the comfort of knowing they were all together.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Piper woke up around 9 am the next morning, she still felt tired but she couldn't get her mind to slow down. Alex and Lucy were both still fast asleep. Alex and Piper were facing each other in bed, Alex was holding Piper's arm close to her chest as she slept. Piper didn't have the heart to move and risk waking her up, she wanted Alex to keep sleeping. Piper kept laying there, looking at Alex, making sure she was still asleep. It wasn't much longer until Lucy started to wake up, rolling over to look up at Piper and Alex. Piper moved to lie on her back so she could look at Lucy, who was looking back at her, "is Ally awake?"

"No sweetie, she's still pretty tired. How about you? Why are you awake?"

Lucy shrugged, "I dunno, I couldn't sleep anymore. I can't stop thinking about what happened last night."

This worried Piper. Lucy had been through a lot in the last 6 months, and she was still only a kid. Piper felt like she needed to watch Lucy closely and make sure she talked about what was bothering her. If the rest of them were struggling to cope with the situation, she could only imagine how difficult it was for a ten year old.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

By midday Lucy had gotten up and was in Diane's room, the two laying together on the big bed. Diane had spent most of the day in bed, not speaking much to anyone. Lucy was worried and wanted to be close to her mum, Piper thought it would be good for both of them. Alex was still sleeping, so Piper used the opportunity to have a shower and try to wake herself up. She still felt like she was being covered by a fog from last night. She slowly got dressed in jeans and a t-shirt before checking on Alex again. Piper was surprised to see Alex sitting on her bed, still in her sleep shorts and t-shirt, looking down at her hands. Piper stepped closer to Alex, looking at what she was holding. Eventually Piper realised what it was, a small plastic bag full of white powder. For a moment, Piper felt like her heart would stop, "what's going on Alex?"

Alex looked into Piper's beautiful eyes, "Please Pipes, I need you to take this."

Piper sat next to Alex, taking the small bag from her, "where did this come from?"

"I swear I forgot about it for ages, I had it taped to the bottom of my bed, just in case…I promise I didn't mean to hide it from you. Last night…..it, it was really tough. I woke up this morning, and fuck…I really wanted to. I wanted to call Nicky so bad. I went to get up, get dressed, I knocked my glasses on the floor by accident, under the bed. I reached under to grab them, and I felt it, I remembered I had it. I, I can't lie to you, I really fucking want it. But I want you more…so please, you have to take it, just get rid of it. I'm really sorry Pipes."

Piper watched her girlfriend as silent tears ran down her cheeks, "Al, I believe you, please don't cry. This is a good thing Al. You could've just taken this, you could've hidden it from me, but you didn't. This is a good thing Alex, you're fighting this, it's all I can ask." Piper gently touched Alex's cheek, brushing her fingers over the fresh bruise, and then the cut in the corner of her mouth, "does it hurt?"

"A little, I guess. But it doesn't matter. Thank you for getting Lucy out of here last night. I needed to know that you were both safe." Alex's voice was barely above a whisper as she spoke. Even though she'd slept for so long, she was still exhausted. She leant her head on Piper's shoulder and closed her eyes. Piper kissed her head, so relieved that Alex had the strength to not give into her addiction. She wasn't just relieved, she was proud. This felt like a turning point, Piper felt like they finally had a chance to make it. She was determined to help hold this family together, her family.

"You look exhausted Al, go back to sleep."

"Please, stay with me Pipes, I can't be alone right now."

"Of course baby. I'll stay as long as you need."

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Everyone in the Vause apartment was exhausted, they all woke up between 7 and 8pm. Even Diane finally left her room and joined the girls in the lounge room.

"Sit next to me mum," Lucy pat the seat next to her, wanting to get close to Diane. Diane smiled and sat next to her youngest daughter, who snuggled into her side. Diane put her arm around Lucy and pulled her in tight. Through all of the guilt that was still crushing her on the inside, she felt incredibly lucky to have 2 daughters like Alex and Lucy. She also felt incredibly lucky that she had Alex to look after Lucy when she wasn't there. Last night, Alex's first concern was getting Lucy out of the apartment without Robbie ever knowing she was there.

Alex was worried about Diane, the last few months had taken its toll on her. And even though Robbie had finally been caught, last night seemed to almost drain the last remaining piece of her resolve. "I'll go out and get some dinner, what do you feel like mum?"

Diane could barely bring herself to look at Alex, seeing her daughter bruised again was more than she could take, "Whatever you want sweetie, I'm not really hungry."

"Come on, you need to eat something, I'll get you anything you want." Alex was not going to let Diane fall apart.

"Just grab a pizza sweetie."

Alex grabbed the car keys and took Piper's hand, both girls walked out of the apartment worried about the same thing. "We need to look after her Pipes, I can't let her fall apart."

 **A/N**

 **Well there you go, Robbie's been caught, but it has taken a toll on Diane. The focus is now how/if the family will be able to pull it together.**

 **As always, keen to hear your thoughts.**

 **Cheers.**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17 – all together

The next week went by very quietly, Lucy went back to school and Diane went back to work. Robbie was being held on remand until his turn in the court room. The bills were starting to pile up, and Diane was working long hours, which just added to her physical and emotional strain. Alex helped out with the bills as much as she could, but it wasn't always enough. She earned less than Diane per hour, so took fewer shifts so she could look after Lucy when she wasn't at school. A lot of the time it was Alex who took Lucy to and from school, cooked her dinner, and drove her to friends houses. Everyone could see that this situation was not sustainable, and Diane needed a break. It had been well over six months since Piper moved into her own apartment, and she was finally having some luck with an independent publisher that wanted to print some of her short stories. It was a good start, and Piper was happy. This would give her extra money in addition to what she made from her library shifts. She also still had money left over from what her grandmother gave her. Piper already spent so much of her time at the Vause apartment, she felt like having her own separate apartment was a waste of money. If she lived with Alex, she could help with the bills and help look after Lucy.

It was late on Friday night, Alex and Piper were both sitting in Alex's room getting ready for bed. Alex had worked a long shift all day and was exhausted. But Piper couldn't get the living situation off her mind, "Al, I have a proposition for you."

"Well, you know I'm always up for a proposition," Alex smirked at Piper as she pinned her girlfriend to the bed as she started to kiss her roughly.

"I'm serious Al."

"So am I."

Piper knew Alex wouldn't let up, and she needed to get this off her chest tonight, "what if I moved in here?"

Alex pulled back from the kiss and just looked at Piper, "what?"

"I practically live here anyway. If we made it official, all that money I spend to keep my apartment could go towards the bills here. We could put my double bed here in your room, sell the other bits of furniture so we have some extra cash. The short story book is coming along, and I could help take care of Lucy. It would give you more of a chance to think about what you want to do with your life."

Alex didn't know what to say, on one hand she'd love to have Piper move in, but on the other she didn't want Piper to feel like she had to help out with the money. "I….I love the idea of you living here. But I don't want you to feel like you need to help us with money, we've always made it on our own."

Piper raised a hand to Alex's cheek before she could continue, "I know Al, I know you guys have always managed on your own, and I know that you'll manage in the future. But you don't need to do it alone anymore. You're not just my girlfriend, you're all like my new family since my parents basically disowned me. You've all helped me so much, and come on this is a practical thing to do! I'm almost never at my apartment."

Alex chuckled at Piper's enthusiasm, which was starting to feel infectious, "just remember, there's no escaping Lucy if you get rid of your apartment. You'll be stuck with her 24/7 telling you what movie you're allowed to watch and which chair you can sit in."

Even though it wasn't much, Piper was relieved to see Alex joking around again, "hey, I think I can handle a ten year old, she's just got you wrapped around her little finger."

"Whatever Chapman," Alex knew Piper was right, but she didn't even care. The idea of Piper officially moving in with them felt surreal, and good.

 **0-0-0-0-0-0**

Diane had a rare Saturday morning off, giving Piper the opportunity to speak with her about moving in. Piper got up when she heard Diane making coffee, she left Alex in bed to keep sleeping. "Hey, why aren't you sleeping in?"

"Hi sweetie, I think I've just gotten so used to early mornings I can't sleep in anymore."

"There's something I want to talk to you about." This was the first time in a long time that Piper felt nervous in front of Diane.

"Everything ok with you? And Alex?

"Yeah, we're both fine. I actually wanted to talk about me moving in with you guys. I was talking to Alex about it last night. I mean, I already spend so much of my time here. I….I know money is tight. If, if I lived here I could help." Piper could see Diane was about to interrupt her, and she knew exactly what she'd say. "And don't even say it Diane, Alex is exactly like you when it comes to money."

"Piper, you're young, you don't need to worry about me and money sweetie."

"Just forget about the money Diane, it's not even all about that. I…..I look at you and, you've helped me so much. You've been more of a mother to me since I've known you than my real mother has been my entire life."

The emotion was building inside Diane, all the bad things that she'd endured pushed her to the edge of her own sanity. Aside from Alex and Lucy, Piper was also a big part of the reason she didn't completely fall apart. "I'd be happy to have you here with us sweetie." These words made Piper so happy she couldn't stop herself from wrapping Diane in a hug.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Piper's apartment lease would expire in the next two weeks, and the final decision was made, she would move into the Vause apartment. Even though she already spent most of her time there, this formal move held so much meaning for her, it made her happy. Danny was happy for her and had already insisted on helping her sell her things and move the few pieces of furniture she would keep. She still hadn't spoken to her parents in months, they didn't even try to speak to her. It still hurt, but Piper kept trying to push it to the back of her mind. Through everything that happened, she tried to be the strong one for Alex, to help as much as she could. But sometimes, Piper felt like she needed someone to be the strong one for her, to stop her from falling apart. It made Piper feel guilty, it made her want her dad to pick up the phone and call her, just talk to her for five minutes. Danny had been great, but sometimes she just wanted her dad. It wasn't as though Alex was never there for Piper, she was, but at the same time Alex was completely distracted at the moment. Distracted and trying to fight off her own desire to fall apart. But Piper couldn't blame Alex for that, and besides, she still had Danny. Even if she could never get back the relationship with her dad, Danny would always be there. Even though it made her feel so conflicted, Piper never really missed having her mother in her life. She had become so cold, so completely opposite to everything that Diane was, that Piper was struggling to miss her, even if she tried.

Alex could sense that something was wrong with Piper, but she didn't want to push her too hard to speak about it. It was a Wednesday night and Alex had just gotten back from work after doing a double shift. Danny had helped them move Piper's double bed into Alex's room the night before so they didn't have to keep squeezing into Alex's single bed. It felt so luxurious to Piper that she and Alex could spread out in a bed together while still in Alex's room. It was only a small change, but it meant a lot. It was nearly midnight by the time Alex walked into her room to find Piper still awake, "are you sure you're ok Pipes?"

"Of course Al. I, I've just been thinking about my dad a lot lately." Piper kept looking at her hands, she knew she would cry if she looked at Alex.

"Have you thought about calling him?"

Piper just shook her head, "I can't bring myself to do that, not after the things he said and the way he spoke about you."

Alex sat down next to Piper and brushed the blonde hair from her face, "I'm here if you want to talk ok, don't think you can't talk to me because of what's happened lately."

"I know. Now come to bed, I need to feel you next to me." Alex was more than happy to comply as she changed out of her waitress uniform and slipped into a t-shirt. She climbed in next to Piper and hugged her, "so mum was telling me it might still be a few months before the trial starts."

"Fuck, that's ages away, I'm sorry Al. How was Diane today?"

Alex just shook her head, "she's not herself Pipes, she's quiet, she can barely look me in the eye. She still feels guilty, fuck, I can't make her understand that this was not her fault. He seemed so normal at first, none of us thought this shit would happen." The two girls kept talking for another 20 minutes before they both fell asleep.

It was close to 3am when Alex's phone started to ring. She was exhausted from work and barely had the energy to answer it, "what," Alex did not appreciate being woken up in the middle of the night. It wasn't long before she recognised the voice at the other end, it was Emily, sounding high again.

"Alex….I know my dad's an asshole but he's in jail. Why did you have to put him in jail? I liked you, I thought you were good, I wanted to keep you safe. But he'll never survive in there."

Before she could properly process the conversation Alex ended the call. There was already so much going on in her life, the last thing she needed was Emily making trouble. Again, Alex felt that familiar feeling in her chest as the anxiety started to sink in. She still hadn't been back to see the psychiatrist, she had been avoiding it, completely afraid of what would happen if she went back. But she also didn't want to suffer from panic attacks from the rest of her life. She didn't know what else to do, so she woke up Piper.

Alex kept gently shaking Piper's shoulder, "Pipes, are you awake?"

All she got in response was a groan, "Hmmm, no, sleeping." Piper just kept trying to bury her face deeper in Alex's chest as she slept.

"Emily just called me."

Those words managed to wake Piper up, "what?"

"She sounded high as usual, saying Robbie would never survive in jail. Fuck, what did she think would happen?"

"Just stay away from her, do not agree to meet her on your own." Piper could feel the concern growing in the pit of her stomach. The last thing any of them needed right now was Emily doing something crazy. Alex drew Piper close to her again as they tried to forget about Emily and go back to sleep.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

The next day went by slowly. Alex wasn't working, so Nicky went to the apartment to keep her company, "you've been doing good Vause, I'm proud of you," and Nicky really meant it. Alex smiled at her best friend as she handed her another beer.

"Don't go all soft on me now Nick."

"Not a chance! How about we go out for a few drinks tonight, looks like you could use a good distraction. Tell you what, I'll even let blondie come along!" Nicky still felt like Piper treated Alex like a child at times, but she liked Piper all the same. Besides, she'd never seen Alex more enamoured with a girl as she was with Piper.

"Well actually she's meant to be working on her book tonight, the publisher wants to see another draft next week, so looks like it'll just me you and me."

"Just like old times Vause!" It had been a long time since Nicky and Alex had hit a bar on their own, and both of them were looking forward to it and re-living some old memories.

They hit their usual spot around 8pm, with Nicky's friends letting them in without any issues as usual. Nicky led them to a booth at the back of the large space after they picked up a couple beers from the bar. As soon as they sat down, Nicky reached into her pocket and pulled out her usual selection of pills, "I think you've earned yourself a good time tonight, but only one alright! I don't want blondie coming to hunt me down again."

Alex laughed as she reached into Nicky's hand for a pill, washing it down with her beer. It felt good to be out of the house, to let loose and have fun again. Whenever she felt like she was losing control of her mind, that temptation still gnawed in the back of her eyes, she still wanted it. But then she thought about Piper, and she thought about how she was the main one looking after Lucy at the moment. She didn't want her little sister growing up seeing her as a junkie, most of the people in their neighbourhood already saw Alex as nothing, a waste of space. She never wanted Lucy to think that way about her. She could finally feel the pill kicking in, along with the beer. It felt amazing, she did not want to have any serious thoughts tonight, all she wanted to do was enjoy herself with her best friend.

The next few hours went by quickly, and it felt like old times again. Nicky went to buy another round of beers while Alex stayed at the booth. She reached into Nicky's jacket to take another pill. She'd only had one and that was hours ago, and she learned her limits a long time ago when it came to drugs. She felt a body slide in next to her and automatically assumed it was Nicky. Alex moved to put an arm around her best friend, until she turned around and realised it wasn't Nicky, "what the fuck do you want Emily?"

"I'm sorry, I was a little harsh on the phone, but I was just upset."

"You were fucking high too. Look, just leave."

"No, I won't just leave! I know he's not a good guy, he was never good to me. I….I don't know why I let myself feel bad for him. I…..I just really want us to be friends." Emily reached her hand across the table and placed in on top of Alex's just as Nicky walked back with their beers. Alex pulled her hand away, "we can't be friends okay, just fuck off, I don't need this right now." Nicky slid a beer in front of Alex as she sat in the other side of the booth, starting at Emily, waiting for her to leave. Emily reached across the table to try and grab Nicky's hand, "I'm not a bad person, I'm sorry." Emily got up and left the booth, disappearing into the crowd.

Alex and Nicky finished their beers, it was nearly midnight, "c'mon Vause, let's head home, you can crash at mine tonight." Nicky went to stand up and noticed that Alex was struggling, "you alright Vause?"

Alex was sitting with her head in her hands, her hair was starting to look wet with sweat, "I don't feel good Nick." Nicky could see this situation getting messy fast, so she dragged Alex out of the booth and into a cab. Luckily it was only a ten minute ride to Nicky's apartment, by the time they got there Alex could barely walk. Nicky managed to get her into the apartment, which was always empty now since Lorna left her. Nicky walked Alex into the bathroom, where she immediately slumped next to the toilet. Nicky knelt next to her friend and felt her face, it was on fire, "fuck Alex, what the hell is going on, how many pills did you take?"

Alex couldn't stop coughing, or sweating, "only two Nick."

"Two pills doesn't do this Vause, what the fuck! You're sweating bullets, come here." Nicky pulled Alex upright and took off her jacket and t-shirt, which were soaked through, every part of Alex's skin was on fire. "Fuck! We gotta get you in the shower Alex, come on." Alex wasn't much help at this point as she struggled to keep herself sitting up. "Come on man, you gotta help me here," After ten minutes Nicky managed to pull off Alex's jeans and sit her in the shower. She started the water on cold at first, then made it luke warm. Alex just kept herself slumped in the corner as she started coughing, Nicky got in the shower with her, "whatever the fuck is in your system you need to get it out, come on Alex you gotta pull it together." Nicky rubbed Alex's back as she dry heaved, trying to vomit but nothing would come out.

Nicky didn't know what to do, Alex's whole body was still on fire and she barely had a grip on what was happening around her. Nicky got up and ran out of the shower, not caring about the water she was spreading all over her apartment, and grabbed a bottle of water from her fridge. She took off her own jacket and shoes before she got back in the shower, "here, you gotta drink some water." Nicky had to help Alex hold the bottle as she drank. As soon as Alex swallowed a few mouthfuls of water she leaned over on her hands and started dry heaving again, "fuck! Alex I don't know what to do."

Alex was sitting in the corner again as the cool water ran over her, "just give me a minute Nick, it just needs to pass."

"This shit is not passing! Maybe I should call Piper," before Nicky could even move she felt Alex's hand on her arm, "no fucking way Nick! Do n not call her, it's f f fine." Nicky felt Alex's face again, her skin seemed to feel less hot, which was a huge relief. Nicky left Alex in the shower as she picked up all her friends clothes before they got completely wet. She rescued Alex's phone from her jacket pocket and noticed a missed call and a text message from Piper. She put all the clothes in her bedroom and put Alex's phone on the bedside table. She tried to find some clothes that would fit Alex, all she managed to find was an old ratty t-shirt and shorts that belonged to another one of her friends. Nicky walked back into the bathroom and helped Alex out of the shower, Alex stopped her as soon as she reached for her bra, "I got it Nick."

"Fuck off Alex, you don't have shit, you can barely fucking stand. I've seen your goods before remember, but don't worry, I won't tell blondie." Alex just rolled her eyes as she let Nicky take off her bra and underwear before helping her into the dry clothes.

"Where the fuck did these come from?"

"Look, just be glad I have clothes that fit your 10 foot tall ass okay. And Piper tried calling you, you should probably call her back, or at least text her."

Alex lay on Nicky's bed, she felt slightly better but her head was still pounding and her stomach was aching, "just gimme a minute okay."

Nicky was worried, "you can tell me Alex, if you took something else I won't say anything. I'm hardly one to judge given my shitty track record, which lost me yet another fucking girlfriend.

"I'm telling you Nick, I didn't take anything else. Look, I'm feeling better, can you take me home?"

Nicky just sighed, "sure, let's go. But I've gotta let you know that you look fucking ridiculous." A smile slowly crept across Alex's face, "thanks asshole." Alex was a lot steadier on her feet now, and managed to make it to Nicky's car without much help. By the time Nicky dropped Alex off it was almost 2am, everyone would be asleep. Alex made her way into the apartment as quietly as she could and went to her room where she found Piper asleep with Lucy beside her, the little girl's arm wrapped around Piper the same way she would do to Alex. This just made Alex smile, it made her feel good to know that no matter what happened, Piper would always look out for Lucy. Alex didn't want to wake up either of them, so she made her way back into the kitchen to get a drink and saw Diane on the way, "hey mum."

"Hey sweetie," Diane gave Alex a weak smile, she didn't sound like herself, "you ok? You don't look so good." Diane walked over to her daughter and felt her face, "You're burning up sweetie."

Alex just shrugged it off, she didn't want her mum to worry, she already did enough of that, "it's fine mum, I probably just drank too much."

"Yeah, well I can believe that, especially when it's just you and Nicky together," Diane smirked at her daughter, and for the briefest of moments, Alex saw that old spark in her eyes. "You're coming with me, you look white as a ghost and you're sweating. Come on," Diane held Alex's hand and pulled her towards the bathroom. Diane put the toilet lid down and sat Alex on it as she went through the drawers and pulled out two aspirin and got a glass of water. Alex accepted the tablets as her mum went looking for a small hand towel. Even though Alex was 19 years old, it still felt good to have Diane take care of her like this. It reminded her that no matter how old she got, Diane would always look after her. But she wanted Diane to realise that it went both ways, and that she would always be there to look after Diane, but she had no idea how to do that. After Diane found what she was looking for in the bathroom she led Alex into her own room, "I think you've lost your bed to Lucy tonight, so you can stay in here with me. I don't like you being on your own when you're sick."

"Sounds good mum." Alex let herself sink into the bed when she felt something cool on her forehead, it was a wet towel that Diane had placed there.

"You're really warm Ally, leave this on okay."

"Okay mum."

Diane got into the bed and grabbed her daughter's hand, slowly running her fingers over the healing cuts from their last encounter with Robbie. Alex didn't know what to say anymore, how she could convince Diane that it wasn't her fault, "I'm okay because of you mum, I love you."

"I love you too Ally."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18 – try again

Alex sat nervously in the small waiting room, she had been putting this off for a long time, but she couldn't avoid it any longer. Even though Robbie was in remand, she was still having nightmares, and still having panic attacks. Deep down Alex knew she needed help, but a part of her felt nauseous at the idea of speaking to a therapist about her problems, of admitting she had problems she needed help with. There were some things she had never openly said to another human being, she didn't even know how she would react to saying certain things to another person. She had tried to be open with Piper, and there were many nights where they lay tangled together on the couch talking about how they each dealt with their emotions. But Alex hadn't been brave enough to tell Piper everything, to tell her some of the thoughts she used to have, some of the things she used to wish she was brave enough to do. Another part of Alex didn't want to be completely open with her therapist out of fear that they'd decide she shouldn't be looking after Lucy. So many different thoughts were running through her head, she couldn't separate them all. But it hadn't even been persuasion from Piper that convinced Alex to accept Danny's offer for a rescheduled appointment, it was Diane. It was a conversation that both scared her and made her want to better herself for Diane. There were snippets of that conversation that would be forever etched in Alex's memory.

 _I've seen you at your worst sweetie, after you met your dad, after I found you in the car, I didn't know what to do. You were so broken, for so long after that you just weren't yourself. I was so scared Alex, for a while there I thought I might lose you. But I knew how fucking tough and stubborn you could be, and I don't know how, but you came through the other side. And now, with everything that's happened with Robbie, I can't actually believe it. I brought him into my home, with my two daughters, and he abused my trust. I let you down, but I need to move past that. After you came back from the hospital I was so worried. You'd already been through so much, more than a lot of people go through in a lifetime. And I thought, fuck, my baby might be even more broken this time. When you started having the panic attacks again, it scared me Alex. That hadn't happened since after you met your dad. It wasn't easy for you, I know it's still not, but I know that the fact you had Piper made a big difference. She helped you a lot, more than I ever could on my own. But you still need something more sweetie, even with me and Piper here. I want you to call Danny and tell him you'll go to the new appointment, no running away this time ok? I know it's scary, but I need you Ally, I need to know you're ok. So please just try one more time, for me ok?"_

Alex could not get it out of her head, the look on Diane's face throughout that conversation. Her eyes never left Alex's, she was being serious. Before Alex could dwell on her mum anymore, she heard her name, "come on through Alex." Alex got out of her chair, wiping her sweaty palms on her jeans as she followed. She sat on the small couch and looked back at the psychiatrist she had run out on the last time. The session started regularly enough, they discussed what happened at the last appointment, and how Alex had been feeling since Robbie's arrest. They spoke about Alex's relationship with her family, the nightmares and panic attacks. Then came the bit that Alex didn't know how to handle, the abuse discussion.

"I know this topic was really hard for you last time Alex, so I promise we're going to take it as slow as you need. Your anxiety is linked to many different occurrences, some we've been discussing today, but there's another big link here that we haven't spoken about yet today, and that's what Robbie did to you. Now at any point, if this gets too much for you, just say the word and we will stop that line of conversation immediately. Ok?"

Alex couldn't bring herself to look her therapist, Kerry, in the eye, and just kept looking at her hands as she fidgeted, "ok."

Kerry smiled, she seemed genuine, but that didn't make Alex any less scared, "tell me how it all started."

Alex kept looking at her hands, she grabbed the hem of her t-shirt and tried to unpick the stitching, she never looked up, "he hated the fact I'm gay, I never kept it a secret, everyone knows, mum always supported me."

Alex stopped and there was silence from Kerry, she wasn't going to interrupt Alex just yet, "so, yeah, whenever we were alone, he always let me know he didn't like it. Said he would never understand why I spent all my time chasing girls."

Alex paused, but again, Kerry said nothing, wanting to let Alex talk freely, "he….he just started making weird comments, he'd say I was beautiful, say I should be nicer to him. I….I know I haven't always been the easiest kid to deal with, I haven't exactly always followed the rules, I'd drink a lot, get home late a lot. I got home late one night, and fuck, he got so mad, started yelling and swearing at me."

Alex focussed harder on her hands, desperately trying to undo the stitching of her t-shirt. This next part was the hardest, her chest hurt, but she wasn't going to run away this time. There was something so different about this setting. It wasn't like giving evidence to the police, this wasn't just about the cold hard facts, this was about human emotion, this was about consequence and acknowledgement, this was hard.

"You just go at your own pace here Alex, take your time."

Alex sighed deeply before she spoke again, "he….he put his hands under my top, he touched my chest. I was so fucking drunk, I didn't know what was going on. Then, he said I should be nicer to him, keep him occupied before my little sister got older. Fuck, I froze, the idea of him doing anything to Lucy, I couldn't take it. I tried to pull away from him, asshole just kicked me and I hit the ground."

"You're doing really well Alex, are you ok to keep going?"

Alex just nodded, briefly raising her head to look at the woman across from her.

"How did things progress?"

Alex's voice was barely above a whisper at this point, "he just got more violent, but only when we were alone, and he never left marks where mum could see them. He….he'd always make comments about Lucy, that if I didn't shut up he'd do something to her. I tried to fight back…"

The emotions were starting to get the better of Alex and she was desperately trying to hold back her tears.

"That's ok Alex, we can leave it there for today. This has been a really good start, you've done really well to start this difficult conversation. Look, I'd like to see you again, do you want to set up another appointment?"

Alex felt a kind of strange relief at having opened up to Kerry, even if it was just a little bit. Yes she wanted another appointment, but she had no way of paying for it, "let me think about it ok, thanks."

Alex caught the bus home thinking about the session, and how yet again money would stop her dead in her tracks. It was early afternoon on a Thursday, Diane was at work, and Alex still had a few hours before she needed to pick up Lucy. But she really didn't feel like being alone right now, she wanted Piper.

Alex walked into her apartment and was relieved to see Piper at the kitchen table. Piper had one more week to get all her stuff out of her old apartment, and was trying to organise the last few bits and pieces. Piper walked over to Alex as soon as she walked through the door, gently taking her hand, "how did it go Al?"

Before Alex said anything, she wrapped her arms around Piper's neck and pulled her in close, "it was hard. Please just cuddle with me for a bit? I'm not ready to talk about it yet."

Piper ran the back of her fingers over Alex's cheek, relieved she sat through the whole session, "of course, and you don't have to tell me anything. Come on, let's relax in bed until it's time to get Lucy. Like so many times before, Piper led Alex into the bedroom and they both kicked off their shoes before getting in the bed. Piper snuggled up behind Alex and pulled her into a hug, kissing the back of her neck, "why don't you see if you can take a nap? I'll wake you up when it's time to go."

Alex closed her eyes and melted into Piper's embrace. This was exactly what she needed right now, to feel safe and protected, surrounded by her girlfriend's arms.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

It was just the three younger girls at home for dinner that night, with Diane pulling a double shift. Alex and Lucy were doing the dishes when Piper's phone rang, she took it out of her pocket and had to look twice when she saw the caller, dad.

Her heart skipped a beat, she hadn't spoken to her parents in months, "hey dad."

"Hi Piper," Bill Chapman's voice sounded hesitant and relieved at the same time.

"It's really good to hear from you, it's been a long time."

"I know Piper. It was a big shock the last time your mother and I saw you and, well, she is still struggling with the situation. But I want to see you. What if I come by your apartment this weekend?"

Piper didn't see any point in trying to avoid the truth about her new living arrangements, "actually, I've moved in with Alex."

There was a moment of silence before Bill spoke again, "Oh….well, how about I meet you somewhere for lunch? What about Lena's?"

Piper was so relieved, she was starting to think she'd never speak to her dad again. She also felt nervous, which seemed ridiculous. This was her dad after all, but she didn't know how he'd react to her relationship with Alex. Things had gotten a lot more serious since the last time she saw him. Alex wasn't some passing phase, she was a permanent fixture in Piper's life, and they loved each other. She wasn't surprised that it was her dad that called her, her mother was never one to admit any wrong doing. Besides, she had always been closer to her dad, he had always been very protective of her.

Piper couldn't sleep that night, all she could think about was seeing her dad on the weekend. She couldn't stop imagining how it would all pan out, kept fantasising that he would accept Alex and become a part of their lives. Even if that was incredibly unlikely, she could still dream. She wondered whether her mother knew about their planned lunch, probably not. Carol would definitely not approve of that. Piper kept laying on her back in bed, just staring at the ceiling. For once, Alex was fast asleep with her head resting on Piper's shoulder. The feelings she had for Alex were so completely different to feelings she'd had in any other relationship. They were all consuming, it was love and want and protection, it was everything to her. Alex was worried about the lunch, she didn't want Piper to get hurt. But she knew how important it was to Piper, she just really hoped it went well.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

The weekend came around quickly, it was Sunday morning and Piper was freaking out.

"Pipes, come on, it'll be ok. He's the one that called you, he wants to see you, that's a good thing." Piper couldn't even hear what Alex was saying, all she could think about was seeing her dad. Alex could tell Piper wasn't listening to her, "Piper, just stop for a second, look at me." Alex took hold of Piper's shoulders and forced her to stop and pay attention, "no matter what happens at lunch, I'll be right here when you're done ok? I will drop you off, I will pick you up. Doesn't matter how it goes, I'll be waiting for you in the car, with Lucy. She can tell you all about how shit I am at Jenga ok?"

Piper couldn't help but smile, "how do you always do that?"

Alex leaned in close so she could kiss Piper on the forehead, "do what?"

"Make me laugh."

Alex kissed her on the lips this time, "that's just the way it is when you love someone babe." Piper grabbed Alex's face and kissed her gently, running her tongue slowly over Alex's bottom lip. Alex always made Piper feel better, no matter what.

A few hours later Alex was driving Piper to Lena's to meet her dad. Alex pulled up outside the restaurant and took Piper's hand, "you ok?" Piper nodded, she felt like her mouth was too dry to talk. "I'll be back here at 2 o'clock ok. You'll be fine babe, I love you." Alex gave Piper one more kiss before she had to get out of the car and face her dad.

Piper walked into the restaurant and looked around, she finally spotted her dad sitting at a small table next to a window. He smiled when he saw her, she immediately felt better as she walked towards him, "hi daddy."

"Piper, I've missed you a lot." Bill hugged Piper tightly before they sat down and ordered their drinks. The first 20 minutes was a bit robotic as Bill told her how the rest of the family was going. Cal had just gotten his drivers license and Carol was spending more time at her mothers house. That didn't surprise Piper at all, her parents marriage had always been rocky, her father's indiscretions were no secret to her. But she still loved him, she couldn't help it. Then Bill said something Piper wasn't expecting, "how's Alex?"

Piper almost didn't know what to say, didn't know how honest she should be right now. She decided to start slowly and see what happened, "she's been going through a really tough time, but she's strong, she'll get through it."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I, I assume there's not much money around?"

"No, there's not. But they make it work."

"And you live with them now?"

"Yeah, it's really nice."

"Ok…"

There was an awkward silence, Piper didn't know what to say, "why didn't mum come?"

Bill sighed, "you know why Piper."

Again, silence.

"So, Alex is doing better then?"

"Yeah, but I'm worried about her." Piper didn't know if she should keep talking, but she did anyway. "She's been through a lot, she went to see a therapist last week. I think it was really good for her, but I don't think she'll go back. She wants to help her mum with the bills." Piper stopped, waiting for her dad to say something, but he didn't. He just looked at her, and waited for her to keep talking. "But she's stubborn, I want her to get better daddy, she means everything to me." Piper looked at her dad again, he looked sad, but still there was silence.

"I know this is hard to accept, but please try and understand. No, she's not rich, but she's a good person, and so is her mum and her little sister. They're all good people dad, I love all of them. We're in a serious relationship, I love her. This isn't a phase, I can't imagine ever being with someone else."

This time, Bill interrupted her, "Piper, you're young.."

Piper stopped him before he could finish, she knew exactly what he was going to say, "no dad, you can't say that to me anymore. Yeah, I'm young, but I'm still in love. And Alex is always there for me, she makes me feel safe dad, I know she'll always protect me." Piper couldn't stop her eyes welling with tears, she felt like this was the part where her dad would get up and leave. Just go back to Connecticut and maybe they'd have lunch again in another 6 months.

"Ok, ok Piper. I just worry about you. Look, you know I won't be able to see you very often, so at least let me help you out with some money."

Part of Piper desperately wanted to say yes to the money, it would take the pressure off Diane and she could help pay for Alex's therapy sessions. But she didn't think there was any hope of either Vause accepting the money.

"I'll think about it, I'm not sure." The rest of their lunch went by without anymore awkwardness. Piper talked about the latest draft of her short stories and how happy the publisher was. She even talked about Lucy and shared stories about their time together. Before Piper knew it, it was 2 o'clock and Alex was calling her. She answered quietly and told Alex she'd meet her out the front soon. She went to say goodbye to her dad when he asked a question, "I'd like to meet her properly Piper."

"Ummm, ok."

"You don't have to worry, I'll be nice. But I want to get to know this girl my daughter is living with."

It seemed like a fair request, Piper didn't want to say no, she just hoped Alex would be ok with it. Bill paid for their lunch and walked outside with Piper, walking up to the small silver hatch that was waiting for Piper, Alex standing on the curb, leaning against the door. Lucy was poking her head out of the backseat window.

Bill walked straight up to Alex and extended his hand, "Alex, I'm Bill Chapman, Piper's dad."

Alex was dumbfounded as she reached for his hand, this is definitely not what she was expecting, "hi Bill." Piper was about to interject when her phone rang again, it was her publisher. She answered it hastily and told Alex she wouldn't be long. More silence, even Lucy didn't speak.

"Look, Alex. I'm sorry things didn't start well between us. I've already spoken to Piper about my concerns, but I trust her judgement. I hope I can trust yours."

Alex didn't appreciate the insinuation that she wasn't trustworthy, but it wasn't worth starting a fight over, "you can." Piper finished her call five minutes later, she hugged her dad goodbye before getting into the car with Alex and Lucy.

"Sooo seems like lunch went well?" Alex leaned over and kissed Piper on the cheek, she was relieved to see Piper looking happy given how worried she was about the lunch.

"It did, fuck, I'm so relieved Alex! He said he wouldn't be able to see me often, but it's better than nothing. Can't have mother finding out he's still speaking to their out of control daughter." They chatted more on the drive home, but Piper didn't mention the money offer from her dad. That was a delicate subject, she didn't want to talk about it yet. Lucy was ecstatic that Diane would be home for dinner. She had been working so much lately, none of them had seen her much. Piper and Alex had already discussed how they would split the bills and would not stop until Diane agreed to scale back her shifts. But Alex knew it wasn't just money that drove Diane to work so much, it was a distraction. They were still waiting for Robbie's hearing, and Diane was petrified of what might happen.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19 – what will come

After the three girls arrived back home after Piper's lunch, they started to prepare dinner. It had been so long since Diane had been home for dinner, and Alex wanted to make it special. They didn't have much in the fridge so she kept it simple, spaghetti bolognaise and garlic bread. She made coffee for her and Piper while the sauce was cooking, Diane would be home around 6 o'clock which was only an hour away. Piper grabbed Alex's hand as she passed her the coffee mug, and blurted out her father's request, "he wants to meet you properly."

Alex scrunched up her eyebrows as she looked across the table a Piper, "what?"

"My dad wants to meet you again and get to know you, that's what he said at lunch today. He said that he wants to meet the girl I'm living with." Piper kept holding onto Alex's hand, she wasn't sure how Alex would react to this.

"I dunno Pipes, I feel like that's a bad idea. I know you want him in your life, but I just can't see him liking me."

"Please Al, please can we just try? We can do it however you want, whatever will make you the most comfortable. But this is something I need you to do for me, I need you to try."

Alex was silent for a moment, she looked up at Piper and saw a pleading look in her eyes. Piper had done so much for her, stuck with her when most other people would have left, she knew she needed to try, "ok, I'll do it." Alex leaned across the table and kissed Piper gently on the lips, she would do anything to make her happy.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Diane walked through the front door a little after 6 o'clock. As soon as Lucy heard the front door she jumped off the couch and raced to the front of the apartment. She ran straight into Diane's legs and hugged her tight, "Mummy! I'm so glad you're home. And look, Alex even made dinner!"

Diane hugged Lucy back and kissed her on the cheek. She was exhausted from working so much lately, but it was good to finally be able to sit down and have a home cooked meal with her daughters, "Alex, since when do you cook dinner hey?"

Alex shot her mum a smirk from across the kitchen, "since I'm an incredibly loving and caring daughter."

Before Diane could say or do anything, Lucy had taken control of the situation, "come on mum! You can change out of your uniform and then we can both wash up for dinner. Oh and did you realise Piper's finished moving all her stuff? We're like a real family now, someone else will move into her old apartment, but they probably won't be as nice as Piper." Lucy continued to talk as she led Diane into her room to get ready for dinner. Alex smiled, she knew how much Lucy was missing Diane. She felt bad for her little sister, as much as Lucy loved Alex, she was no replacement for Diane. She hated that Lucy hardly saw Diane these days, and was over the moon by the fact they could all have dinner together tonight.

Alex turned back towards the stove to start getting everyone's plates ready. She kept subconsciously rubbing the scars that were still around her wrists. Danny told her they would fade away eventually, but it would take a while. She hated seeing them every day, it was another reminder of Robbie and everything he'd done to her family.

Finally everyone was ready for dinner, and Alex had served out the food to everyone. They ate in silence for a while before Alex spoke, "so mum, now that Piper has officially moved in, we thought you could change your schedule. Maybe do a few less shifts?"

"Sweetie, that's really not necessary. Piper, I love having you here but I don't want you girls worrying about money."

"Diane, I live here now. I'm eating your food, using your electricity and water, all of it. This is a non-negotiable, I'm helping with the bills, Alex and I have already worked out a little budget."

Diane was about to start protesting again when Lucy pulled on her arm, "yeah mum, that way you can maybe pick me up from school some days and we can hang out." Diane looked down at Lucy, she knew she wasn't spending enough time with her youngest daughter, but she wanted to make sure they had enough money. She knew that things would be easier with Piper putting money towards the bills, but Diane was also scared of where her mind would wander if she wasn't at work. Robbie's hearing would be coming up soon, just the thought of it made her feel sick. The thought of what he did to Alex, the fact that he had lied to all of them, she struggled to handle it on her best days. She had considered therapy herself but that wasn't an option, not now anyway. They could barely afford to send Alex to therapy, let alone Diane as well. At this point, Diane's main concern was getting Alex all the help she needed to deal with what had happened with Robbie.

Diane looked between both of her daughters and Piper before she managed to speak again, "ok, I'll talk to the girls at the diner tomorrow, see if we can't change the rosters." Before Diane had even finished her sentence, Lucy jumped into her lap and wrapped her arms around her neck. The little girl was ecstatic, things were finally starting to go back to normal.

Diane went to have a shower after dinner and have an early night, she was exhausted from all the long shifts she'd been pulling. Alex insisted Diane go to bed early, and she would put Lucy to bed, "come on Luce, you've got school tomorrow. Get your butt into bed."

Lucy was snuggled under a blanket on the couch with Piper. The little girl scrunched up her face at Alex's request and leaned in closer to Piper, "can I sleep with you and Alex tonight? I had a bad dream last night."

This was the first time Lucy had mentioned having bad dreams, and Piper wanted to make sure Lucy was ok, "of course you can stay with us tonight. Will you tell me what your dream was about?"

Lucy hesitated for a moment before telling Piper more, "I had a bad dream that Ally got hurt again, it was really scary."

Piper was afraid this would happen. She assumed it was probably normal, but it still upset her that Lucy was having bad dreams. She tried really hard to encourage Lucy to talk about her feelings, she didn't want the young girl to grow up with the same issues that made life so hard for Alex.

"Do you want to tell me more about the dream?"

Lucy just shook her head, "no….it was just really scary. It makes me scared that something bad will happen to Ally."

Alex had walked towards the lounge room and overheard most of the conversation, it made her heart sink that her 10 year old sister was plagued by dreams because of Robbie. "Hey, you listen to me kid, I promise you nothing bad will happen to me, ok? I'll always be around, someone's gotta keep you out of trouble right? Now why don't you go brush your teeth and get changed, then we'll all go to bed." Lucy nodded as she let go of Piper and went to get ready for bed. Alex took her spot on the couch next to Piper, "I'm worried about her Pipes."

Piper kissed Alex's temple as she wrapped her arm around her, "I know, but it's good that she's talking, we need to encourage her to keep talking. We'll keep an eye on her, see how she goes with it all."

By 10 o'clock, all three girls were in bed. It was a bit squeezy with Lucy in the double bed but Alex and Piper didn't mind. Lucy asked to sleep in between them, she said it made her feel safe. Lucy fell asleep with her head on Alex's shoulder and her small hand tangled in Alex's hair.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Piper took Lucy to school the next morning, letting Diane and Alex sleep in. Piper didn't have any library shifts that day, but she did need to send a new draft to her publisher. When Piper got back to the apartment she noticed that Alex was still asleep. She got into the bed and brushed the hair out of her girlfriends face, "hey Al." Alex just groaned in reply, she was definitely not a morning person. Piper ignored Alex's groaning and leaned in to kiss her, pulling her into a hug while she kept sleeping. Alex kissed her back and rested her head on Piper's chest, Piper loved it when she did that. "Al, can we have lunch with my dad on the weekend?"

That was a question even Alex couldn't sleep through, "this weekend?"

"Yeah, I was thinking Sunday, if you're not working?"

"Ok."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure Pipes, I wanna do this for you."

"Thanks Al, I love you."

"Love you too Pipes."

Piper knew this was a big step for Alex, and she really hoped it all went well.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Alex was nervous about lunch with Piper's dad for the entire week, but she tried to hide it, she knew how important it was to Piper. It was Saturday night, lunch was the following day. Piper was in her and Alex's room working on her latest draft, while Lucy was asleep in her room. That left Diane and Alex sitting on the couch playing scrabble. Alex had told Diane about the lunch earlier in the week, she confessed to her mum that the prospect of being grilled by Piper's dad scared the crap out of her. Diane looked carefully at Alex as she added up the scores from their game, she could tell her daughter was worried. "How are you feeling about tomorrow sweetie?"

Alex looked up at Diane and sighed, "I'm fucking petrified, things didn't exactly go well the last time I saw him in Connecticut. He clearly didn't want me there, and he stood there and did nothing after Carol hit Piper. Why the hell does he want to get to know me now?"

"Alex, I think maybe he's realised that he wants to keep Piper in his life, and that means getting to know you. All you can do is try, just don't let it get you down ok?"

"I won't. I'm doing it for Piper, but I'd be lying if I said I liked the guy."

"You don't need to like him Alex, you just have to go meet him tomorrow, and play nice."

Just as Alex was packing up the board game, Piper came and joined them. She sat next to Alex as she kissed her on the cheek. Watching the two young girls together always made Diane smile, she was incredibly happy they had found each other. Diane was also incredibly grateful for all the support Piper had given her. Even if Diane didn't want to admit it, Piper moving in and helping with the bills took a huge stress off her. She still felt bad for accepting money from the young blonde, but it ultimately made sense. Aside from money, it also helped to create a more stable environment for Lucy to grow up in, an environment where Diane was around a whole lot more. Even to this day, Diane still regretted not being able to give Alex a more stable childhood, but there was nothing she could do about that now.

"So Piper, how's the book coming along?" Diane was proud of Piper. She worked so hard on her writing and she was finally starting to reap some benefits.

Piper couldn't wipe the huge smile from her face, the prospect of having some of her short stories published felt amazing, "it's going really well actually. I'll have my next draft ready early next week, I'm really excited about it all."

Diane smiled at Piper as she started walking towards her bedroom, "and so you should be excited! Ok girls, I'm off to bed, see you in the morning." They all exchanged goodnights, just leaving Piper and Alex on the couch together. Piper leaned her head against Alex's shoulder and let herself relax, "how about we leave here at noon tomorrow? That'll give us time to park and walk to the restaurant." Piper could feel Alex's body stiffen at the mention of tomorrow.

"No problem babe."

"I know it's hard but I don't want you to stress yourself out over tomorrow. I'll be right next to you the whole time, I won't let him be rude to you. Although I'm obviously hoping that doesn't happen."

"I can't help it Pipes, I just feel like he's gonna judge me. Like he'll look at me and it will just reaffirm his feelings that I'm not good enough for his only daughter."

Piper lifted her head and placed her hands on Alex's cheeks, "you're more than good enough for me Alex, don't talk like that. Let's go to bed." Alex nodded in agreement and the two girls headed to their room. It wasn't just Alex's room anymore, it was _their_ room. Piper kept trying to reassure Alex but she knew it was near impossible to convince her to not worry.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Sunday morning rolled around and Alex was exhausted, she had hardly slept at all. She knew she had no chance of sleeping so left Piper in bed as she got up, had breakfast and showered. She was trying to decide what to wear when Piper finally woke up and groggily questioned Alex, "when did you get up?"

"Ages ago, I couldn't sleep so figured I might as well get up and seize the day, or something like that."

Piper reached out her arms to get Alex to join her in bed again. As soon as Alex was close enough, Piper pulled her girlfriend on top of her so Alex was straddling Piper's hips. "Do you need me to help you relax Al?"

Slowly, that tell-tale smirk broke out on Alex's face as she looked down at her girlfriend, "most definitely."

Piper inhaled sharply as she got the exact response she wanted. She grabbed a fistful of Alex's white v-neck and pulled her down until their bodies were pressed against each other. Piper kissed Alex roughly, taking complete control of the situation, which Alex was more than happy with. Piper started running her fingers through Alex's hair as she bit her bottom lip hard, eliciting a groan from the brunette, "fuck, Pipes. What's gotten into you?"

"I'm just trying to help my girlfriend relax."

The two girls kept grinding into each other before they heard a familiar voice shouting, "ALEX! You and Piper need to drop me off at Sarah's house! Mum's car isn't starting!"

Alex dropped her head against Piper's shoulder, "you have got to be fucking kidding me." Piper laughed and kissed Alex on the lips once more, "she's just a kid Al, and besides, you already look more relaxed."

Alex jumped off the bed and looked back at Piper before she went looking for Lucy, "you, Chapman, are finishing what you started later tonight."

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Alex and Piper sat at their table as they waited for Bill to arrive. Alex had a chewing gum wrapper in her hands that she was slowly ripping up. Piper leaned across and placed her hands on top of Alex's, trying to get her to calm down. Five minutes later, and Piper saw her dad walking towards them. She immediately stood up and the two hugged, "hi daddy, it's good to see you again. You remember Alex."

Bill smiled as he extended his hand in Alex's direction, "of course, good to see you Alex."

Alex nodded as she shook Bill's hand, "good to see you too." The group of three all sat down and made small talk as they ordered food and drinks. Piper was doing most of the talking, updating Bill on her writing and library work. After Piper had finished updating Bill, he turned to Alex, "so Alex, I don't even know what you do. Tell me a bit about yourself." He smiled as she spoke, but Alex still felt uncomfortable.

"Ummm, there's not really much to tell. I finished high school a couple years ago. Since then I've been working down at Orange Café. Ummm, aside from that I spend a lot of time looking after my little sister, Lucy."

Bill smiled again, he wasn't giving away much emotion, "how old is she?"

Alex obliged with an answer, but she still felt uncomfortable, "she's ten, mum works a lot lately so I look after her most of the time."

"Well, that's very good of you."

Piper could feel the conversation stalling, "she's adorable dad. She actually reminds me a bit of Cal growing up."

"I'm sure she's better behaved than Cal!"

The next 20 minutes passed with some more slightly awkward conversation before Bill directed another question at Alex, "so, Piper tells me things haven't been easy at home lately?"

Alex looked at Piper with wide eyes, wondering what the hell Piper had told him about their issues, "yeah, I guess so, but we're fine now."

"Look, Alex, Piper is my only daughter. I know I didn't behave very well previously, but I want to make sure she's taken care of. I want to make sure she's happy."

Piper interjected, "I am happy daddy." She was starting to get worried, she hadn't told Alex about the details she'd given her father. She knew there was a good chance Alex would be angry.

She was right, Alex was definitely getting angry, "are you suggesting she's not happy?"

"No, of course not. All I'm trying to say is that I can help the both of you. I understand money is tight at the moment."

This just made Alex's heart race, her chest hurt. She knew this was Piper's dad, but she almost felt like she'd been betrayed. She was now speaking through clenched teeth, "I don't want your money Bill, I don't need it."

Bill sighed, he wasn't used to people that didn't want his money, "I'm pretty sure you do need it, and besides, you need to consider Piper in all of this."

Alex stood up abruptly, she couldn't take any more of this. Piper grabbed her arm before she could go anywhere, "please Al, don't leave yet." Alex couldn't bring herself to speak, she was desperately trying to hold back tears and ignore the pain in her chest.

Bill wasn't sure what to say, or how to fix the situation. He was doing this for Piper, but he didn't know how to deal with Alex. Piper managed to convince Alex to sit back down, she gently rubbed the brunette's back trying to make her feel better.

Alex was done with the niceties, she was going to tell Bill how it was in her world, "listen, Bill, you know nothing about me. You have no idea how I grew up or what my life has been like. You wanna know more about me? Ok, fine, I'll tell you. My mum got pregnant at 18 to a loser musician that dumped her ass as soon as he found of she was pregnant. As soon as her parents found out she was pregnant they kicked her out. She had nothing, she had nobody. She lived in women's shelters until she managed to get a shitty apartment in a shitty part of town, and that's where I grew up. Living in shitty apartments while my mum worked her ass off just so we could survive. Then nearly ten years later she meets another guy, falls in love. He tells her he loves her, they're gonna get married and he'll look after us. Do you know what happened Bill? Again, he finds out she's pregnant and he goes running, we never see him again. So you see, my mum's had a pretty shitty experience with your kind. But you know what, she keeps it together, she has me and Lucy now. She works even harder to take care of her two daughters. We don't have much, but we all love each other, we make it work. Fast forward ten more years, my mum meets a new guy, he seems really nice. He helps with the bills, mum doesn't work as much, it seems too good to be true, and it is. You see Bill, after he moved in with us he started showing his true colours. Turns out he was an abusive asshole. So my mum had three relationships in 20 fucking years, all shit. So now here I am, with your daughter, and that's it. You have no fucking idea what life has been like for me, so don't think you can make us all happy by throwing money at a problem, doesn't work like that Bill."

Piper kept holding onto Alex's hand, she didn't know how to feel or what to say. She looked across at her dad, she couldn't even decipher the look on his face. He looked almost confused, like he couldn't process all the information he'd just received. The three of them continued to sit in silence. Bill had finally met his match, and he wasn't sure how he felt about it.

 **A/N**

 **Hello!**

 **So, I felt like this meeting between Alex and Bill was always going to be rocky, I'm really keen to hear what you thought about it. Was Bill rude or not? Did Alex over-react? Should Piper have given Alex some warning about what she had told Bill?**

 **Bye.**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20 – vulnerable

Piper and Alex were silent on the drive back home, lunch ended abruptly after Alex said her piece to Bill. Piper tried getting Alex to talk, but she refused. Alex didn't know what to feel right now, she was angry and confused. She hated the fact that Piper had discussed such personal issues with Bill, especially after how badly he'd treated Piper at the start of their relationship. But above everything else, she was hurt that Piper didn't tell her about what she'd told Bill.

As soon as Piper parked the car Alex jumped out and slammed the door, but she didn't head into the apartment building. She started walking down the street, she didn't know where she was going, but she knew she needed to get away. She wasn't ready to sit in that apartment, all she wanted was some space to breathe. She started jogging, and then running, she could hear Piper behind her, but she wasn't ready to talk.

"Alex, slow down! I'm sorry!

Alex could feel the warm tears on her cheeks and she started to slow her pace. She stopped once she turned a corner, leaning against a brick wall as she tried to regain some composure. In the almost 12 months she had been with Piper, she'd never felt quite like this. She'd never felt like Piper had done something bad to her, but Alex couldn't help feeling that way now.

Piper finally caught up and stood in front of Alex as she caught her breath. She was afraid of how Alex would react, that she'd run off and do something stupid. "Please Al, I'm sorry."

"If this is too hard for you Piper, I won't blame you for leaving." There was silence between both girls for a moment. Not because Piper wanted to leave, but because she was hurt that Alex would say that after nearly a year together. There were so many times when Piper could have decided it was all too hard and left for an easier life. But that's not what she wanted. She didn't want an "easier" life, she wanted a life filled with the most amazing love. A love that made all the bad times worth it, that made her smile every day. That was something she had never seen growing up, her parents didn't seem to love each other at all. She didn't want to end up in a loveless relationship like her parent's marriage, she wanted fireworks.

Alex's eyes were still filling with tears as Piper searched her face for an answer, "why did you have to tell him that stuff Pipes? He already thinks I'm fucking pathetic, and now he thinks I can't take care of you. Fuck!" Alex pushed herself off the wall and walked back towards the apartment building, but Piper didn't follow her, she didn't know what to say. She needed her own time to process the afternoon, Alex wasn't the only one who struggled to make sense of life at times.

Alex went into the apartment building and ran up the stairs and through her front door, "can I borrow the car for a bit? Is it starting yet?"

Diane looked at Alex, she could see her eyes were red and she was obviously upset, "everything ok?"

"I'm fine, I just need the car for a bit." Alex couldn't stop fidgeting, she was not in the mood for the third degree from her mum. She just wanted the car keys so she could get the hell out of there.

"I'm not giving you the fucking car keys when you're upset like this. What's going on Alex?"

"Nothing is going on!" She didn't mean to get angry at Diane, but she had been holding herself together for as long as she could and she could feel herself starting to break.

Diane was more than familiar with Alex's moods, and she wasn't going to let this one slide. She quickly walked over to her daughter and took her hand, "hey, don't act like a fucking child Alex. Come and talk to me, please."

The tears had already started rolling down Alex's cheeks again, and her voice starting to quiver. She'd had enough of talking and crying lately, she just had this overwhelming need to get away. She missed the luxury of being able to fall apart without anyone noticing, "please mum, I need to go." Diane could only just hear what Alex was saying. In the past she might have left Alex go to blow off some steam, but not now, not after everything they'd been through. Diane looked at her daughter and tried to pull her into a hug. Alex tried to push her away, but Diane wouldn't let go. Eventually Alex stopped trying to push her mum away and let herself relax into the hug. Alex pulled back and looked at her mum, "I'm fine ok, I just want to take a drive. I actually think I left my jacket at the restaurant."

Diane assumed the lunch didn't go well, and she wasn't willing to let Alex go anywhere on her own, "If you wanna go for a drive you're taking me with you, got it?"

There was a hint of a smirk on Alex's lips as she took the car keys from Diane, "fine." The drive was mostly silent. Alex was looking for signs of Piper on the streets, but saw nothing, she had no idea where Piper had gone after their confrontation on the street. Alex pulled up outside the restaurant, leaving Diane in the car as she went to grab her jacket. Alex walked towards where she was sitting less than an hour ago to see Bill still there, looking into a glass of red wine. Alex didn't understand why he was still sitting there, so she decided to break the silence, "hi Bill."

He looked up, clearly not expecting to see Alex standing in front of him, "Alex, I assume you're here for your jacket?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Look, I didn't mean to offend you earlier. But surely you can understand that my primary concern is looking after Piper. Now, I'm sorry that you haven't had an easy life, it's not something I can relate to. But don't use it as a badge you can stick in my face and accuse me of not caring. And you can't blame me for wanting to take care of Piper. I don't know you Alex, and I do worry about Piper being with you, I'm her father. I think you need to calm down and think about things before we take this conversation any further."

Alex had no interest in another confrontation and kept her voice low and steady, "I am calm, Bill. But I don't need your pity, ok."

"It's not pity Alex! What is it exactly you want me to say to you? Is there anything I could say to you that you wouldn't deem to be offensive?" Bill looked at Alex as he waited for a response, but the truth was that Alex didn't even know how to answer that question. She knew she was being hostile, but she couldn't stop herself. Maybe there wasn't anything Bill could say that wouldn't piss her off. But she wanted Bill to know that he didn't need to worry about Piper, "I can make Piper happy, I can look after her, we look after each other. Why can't you get that?"

"I get it Alex, but I'm still allowed to worry. She's living with you and your family, I barely feature in her life anymore." Bill's voice almost cracked as he finished his sentence, sipping his red wine to regain composure.

"And whose fault is that? You broke her heart, you and your wife. I fucking love her, and I will look after her."

"Fair enough Alex, I won't disagree with you. Hopefully next time we can move past these issues, for Piper's sake." Bill stood up, shook Alex's and left the restaurant. Alex felt calmer than she did before, she picked up her jacket and went back to the car.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

It was dinner time and Piper still hadn't come home, Alex was worried. Lucy was sleeping over at a friend's house, leaving Diane and Alex home alone. Alex was quiet for most of the night, she just wanted Piper to come home. She'd tried calling and texting, but never got an answer. Alex went to join her mum on the couch, lying down with her head in Diane's lap. Diane didn't want to push Alex to talk, so instead started running her fingers through Alex's long hair, just like she did when Alex was a kid. "Been a long time since it's been just you and me, it's kinda nice."

Alex closed her eyes, Diane could always help her relax. It had been a long time since they'd had this much time alone together. It reminded Alex of their life before Lucy was born, it was just the two of them. Things got really tough after Lucy's dad left, but Alex didn't care. All she cared about was spending time with Diane. She remembered towards the end of Diane's pregnancy when her stomach was huge, they would lie in bed together and Alex could feel Lucy kicking. It felt amazing, she didn't understand how she already loved this person she hadn't even met yet. At first she was worried that a little sister would get in the way of her time with Diane, but it only made that bond stronger. In so many ways, having Piper in her life did the same thing. Her relationship with Piper seemed to make Alex a better person, it strengthened her relationship with Diane and Lucy. All of these memories just kept flooding through Alex's mind, all she could do was sigh.

Diane knew that the lunch with Bill didn't go well and that Piper and Alex had fought. She knew Alex was worried, but also too stubborn to admit it. She just kept smoothing out her daughter's hair, "she'll come back when she's ready Ally, she just needs some time to cool off. You of all people should understand that."

"I just want her to be here with me mum, I'm no good without her anymore."

"You'll always be good in my eyes baby, even if you're a pain in the ass." Diane heard a small laugh from Alex as she sat up again. Alex tucked her legs under herself on the couch and snuggled into Diane. Alex and Diane had this unspoken understanding between them, and right now all Alex wanted was to not be alone, and let herself be reassured by Diane's presence next to her.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

It was just after 11 pm and Piper had spent most of the night just driving around. She eventually stopped for food but she wasn't even hungry. She was about to drive home when her phone started ringing. She assumed it was Alex, she'd been avoiding her calls all night. But when Piper looked at her phone she realised it was actually Lucy calling her. Piper pulled over straight away and answered the call, "Lucy, is everything ok?"

"Yeah. I tried calling Alex but she didn't answer. Can you come pick me up, I don't wanna sleep here anymore. I need to go home."

Piper knew better than to try and get details from Lucy on the phone. It had been a long time since she'd wanted to be picked up from a sleepover, so Piper assumed there'd been an argument. She was also worried about the fact that Alex didn't answer Lucy's calls, that never happened. Piper started thinking about Alex, that maybe she was high or drunk, or in danger. She tried to shake those thoughts from her mind, she needed to stop worrying about Alex like she was a child. Alex was an adult, she needed to start acting like one. Piper eventually pulled into the same driveway they'd dropped Lucy off at earlier that same day. Just like always, Lucy was waiting in the front yard and jumped into the car straight away. This all felt too familiar for Piper, it brought her back to the first night she'd met Alex and Lucy. Piper was overwhelmed with memories of that night, she'd felt so drawn to Alex, she couldn't stop herself. She'd witnessed the tenderness between Alex and Lucy, she knew she'd just met someone special.

Lucy sat in the front seat, clinging onto her sleeping bag, "what happened Lucy?"

The little girl looked angry, scrunching up her eyebrows in the same way Alex did, "it was Sarah's stupid friends again, they were saying bad things about Alex."

"You wanna talk about it?"

Lucy shook her head, "they were just being mean, but they don't even know her! I just want to go home. Where's Alex?"

"I'm not sure, she's probably at home with your mum." Lucy seemed to accept that, staying quiet for the rest of the drive. As soon as they got home, Lucy went looking for Alex, finding her asleep on the couch. Piper left Lucy alone in the lounge room and got ready for bed, she wasn't ready to speak to Alex. She still felt angry about how badly the afternoon had gone, but she knew some of the blame sat with her. She went back into the kitchen to get a bottle of water and checked on the two sisters. Lucy had managed to squeeze herself onto the couch with Alex, Piper went back to bed without saying anything.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Piper was exhausted by the next morning, she couldn't sleep without Alex. It was barely 6am by the time she'd woken up. She went back into the lounge to check on Alex and Lucy, who were now spread out on the lounge room floor on top of a blanket. Piper didn't want to go back to bed alone, so sat herself on the couch with a book. It was another hour before Alex woke up, stretching her arms out and groaning, "fuck, I am too old to be sleeping on the floor." Alex got up off the floor and sat next to Piper, "I'm sorry about yesterday, I shouldn't have acted like that."

"It's ok Al, I should've warned you about what I told my dad, I'm sorry too." Piper leaned her head against Alex's shoulder and intertwined their fingers.

"I saw him again, yesterday. I went back to the restaurant to get my jacket, he was still sitting at the table. We cleared the air a bit, turns out we both have you in common." Piper smiled as they sat on the couch and kissed, waiting for the day to start. They didn't say much more about their argument or the lunch, both just accepting what happened and focussing on the new day.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

The next few weeks went by quietly for the girls, slipping back into a normal life, even though Robbie's trial still hung over their heads. Piper spoke to her dad on the phone once, but still had no contact with her mum. Alex kept receiving texts from Emily, but at least she wasn't asking to catch up in person. Piper still felt extremely uncomfortable around Emily. They still had no idea what Robbie did to her, or why she seemed to be so attached to Alex. The months were slowly crawling closer and closer towards Christmas, and the police kept in touch with them as work on the trial progressed. It was a Wednesday afternoon in October when the police came to the apartment to discuss the trial.

Alex, Piper and Diane sat in the kitchen across from the two police officers, while Lucy was at school.

"Ladies, we wanted to speak with you about some of the details Mr Green has been discussing while he's been in holding. This won't be easy to hear, but we wanted to discuss this with you before the trial."

Alex was already worried about this discussion, and now she felt even worse, "what the hell is going on?"

The police looked uncomfortable as they started to discuss the details, "Alex, Mr Green is claiming that he did not abuse you at any stage, he's claiming…. he's claiming it was consensual."

Alex stood up so fast she knocked her chair over, "what the fuck! There was nothing fucking consensual about any of it! And what about when I landed in the hospital, was that consensual too?" Alex's mind was racing, she didn't know what to do with her hands, she felt like she was losing control of her life all over again.

The main policeman that was speaking, Officer Bennett, felt horrible for Alex, but they needed to have this conversation before court proceedings started, "I know Alex, I know. But we need to prepare you for what's going to happen in the courtroom. He's claiming the two of you had a consensual relationship, and that when he tried to end it, you lashed out. He's claiming that's what caused the altercation that put you in hospital. Alex, we need you to stay strong ok, but we also need to be open with you about what the defence will throw at you."

Piper picked up Alex's chair and tried to get her to sit down, "c'mon Al," eventually Alex sat back down, but she refused to withhold her disgust, "I'm gay, how can he say that! I wouldn't have been covered in bruises if there was a consensual relationship."

Bennett didn't know what to say, "there's no evidence of the ongoing abuse Alex, it's your word versus his. Or your friends' word versus his, it's not enough. We'll need to try and build the case around the initial attack when you ended up in the hospital, and what he did to you when he came back looking for Diane. We've got statements from the attending officers that night and the paramedics that attended to you, that's a good thing."

Alex's thoughts immediately raced to Emily and the abuse she suffered because of Robbie, "what about his daughter, Emily, she knows what went on, that's why she tried to find me in the first place."

"We've already spoken to her, but we'll sit down with her again. We'll do everything we can Alex, but we need you to prepare yourself. Now, we're probably only a month or so away from the court room. We'll keep in touch okay, you know how to contact us if you have any questions."

The police left quickly, leaving the three women in the kitchen. Diane had been quiet the whole time, and she still wasn't saying anything. But Alex just kept getting angrier, "Fuck! I can't believe that asshole! I can't sit there and listen to him spout that shit in a courtroom full of people, I can't do it!"

All Piper could think was that she had to calm Alex down before she spiralled out of control, "Al please just listen to me okay, we'll work this out."

Alex couldn't calm down, she couldn't stop thinking about all the possibilities. Everyone already thought she was nothing, which would only get worse if people started thinking she was actually having an affair with Robbie. She felt sick to her stomach, she ran to the bathroom and starting heaving over the basin. Piper ran after her, with Diane following. Diane walked up behind her daughter and started rubbing circles on her back. Alex leaned her head against the basin, trying to hold back her emotions, "it's not true mum, it's not fucking true."

"I know baby, you don't need to tell me that. Please just come sit down okay, come with me Ally." Alex managed to compose herself enough to let go of the basin and grab onto Diane's hand, following her to the lounge room. Diane sat Alex on the couch and knelt in front of her, while Piper sat next to her on the couch, "look at me Alex, I'm worried about you baby. We will all get through this together, but I need you to be honest with me okay. I need to know if you're struggling, if you're not doing good, come to me, or to Piper. Don't do anything silly Ally, no drugs, no running away. Okay?"

Alex could barely bring herself to look Diane in the face, until she eventually felt that familiar touch pulling her face up until she could see her mother's eyes, "can you do that for me baby?" Alex nodded as she looked Diane in the eyes, she didn't want to let her down, but she was struggling to process everything that had just happened. "I gotta go pick up Lucy from school okay, I want you to be here when I get back."

"I'll be here mum." Diane kissed Alex on the cheek before going to pick up her youngest daughter.

Piper was relieved that Diane managed to calm Alex down, "can I get you anything Al?"

"We need to call Emily, she can help us Piper, she knows more about him, about his past. He raped her!" Alex got up and started pacing the lounge room.

"We will talk to her Alex but not now, please, you're scaring me." Piper grabbed Alex by the arm and pulled her closer, "Lucy will be home soon, we need to get it together okay, I don't want to upset her."

Alex nodded slowly, realising she needed to keep it together for Lucy, and the last thing she wanted was to scare Piper. "Okay, I'm okay. It's just not what I was expecting, at least we know we don't need to wait much longer for all the court stuff to start. I just want it all over with. Let's just relax tonight, I need a distraction."

Piper was relieved Alex seemed to have calmed down at the mention of Lucy. They could call Emily tomorrow, but right now Piper wanted to make sure Alex was holding it together. "Why don't you try and get another appointment with Kerry next week? She'll help you deal with all this, I can help you pay for it."

Piper was surprised when Alex nodded in agreement, not even trying to argue with her about the appointment or accepting help with money. "You're right Pipes, I'll do that, thanks." Alex leaned over and kissed Piper gently, "I need you to make love to me tonight." Alex deepened the kiss after she whispered the request into Piper's ear. With everything that had been going on, they hadn't been intimate with each other as much as they used to. Alex missed it, she needed to feel that closeness. But she didn't want it to be rough and fast, she needed Piper to take her time and be gentle. It was in those moments that she felt impossibly close to Piper, those moments were Alex allowed herself to be completely vulnerable and give herself up to Piper. She needed to feel that tonight, before life got crazy again.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21 – want and need

The rest of the afternoon was exactly what Alex needed, just hanging out with Piper and Lucy, distracting herself from thoughts of Robbie and the police. Piper had told Alex about Lucy wanting to leave the sleepover because of the kids saying things about her. That was nothing new, and Alex had a pretty good idea of what they would have said. It would have just been kids being stupid, saying things about her being gay or taking drugs. Alex hated that Lucy was subjected to those taunts, but she also proud of the fact that Lucy would always stand up for her. She was proud because Lucy would grow up to be open minded, to not make snap judgements about people before she knew them. Lucy grew up being taught that everyone was different, and those differences were a good thing, it's what made life interesting. She didn't look at Alex as gay, she looked at Alex as her sister that fell in love just like everyone else. She saw Alex and Piper the same as any other couple, it didn't even occur to her to think of them as any different. Even though they didn't have a privileged upbringing, Alex considered Lucy to be luckier than many of her friends in so many ways, because she was never taught to hate. Lucy had more friends than Alex ever did growing up. Alex had always preferred to stick to herself, whereas Lucy loved to talk to everyone and make new friends.

Alex and Lucy sat at the kitchen table playing cards while Piper and Diane decided to start on dinner. There didn't need to be any serious conversation, it was just easy, it flowed. It was that bond between them that only seemed to get stronger as time went by. It didn't matter that they had different fathers, they never considered their bond to be any lesser because of that. Also, Lucy looked so much like Alex in so many ways, it made most people forget they were technically half-sisters. They very rarely spoke about their fathers, they had both grown up without them, relying solely on Diane to show them the way. Occasionally Lucy would ask about her dad and Alex's dads, but the conversations never lasted long. The truth was that the two girls knew very little about their fathers, and it wasn't a topic Diane was keen to go into detail about. The most Diane would say to Lucy was that her father loved her, but he had problems that meant he couldn't stay. Deep down Lucy wished her dad hadn't left, but that didn't in any way diminish her love for Alex and Diane.

Lucy smiled as she beat Alex for the second time in a row, "you're really bad at this game Ally, are you even trying?"

"Yes shit head, I am trying," Alex kicked Lucy under the table and smiled at her as they kept playing.

"C'mon Alex, try to keep the language clean in front of her," Diane turned to look at her two daughters as she tried to decide what they should eat. The weather was starting to get colder, so they ended up deciding on tomato soup and toast. Lucy played in the lounge room after dinner as Diane, Alex and Piper sat in the kitchen and chatted about nothing in particular. Alex was ecstatic that Diane had finally reduced her shifts, giving her so much more time at home. Alex loved them just being able to sit around the kitchen table and talk about everything and anything, just having her mum in the apartment more was nice.

Just like so many nights before, Lucy fell asleep on the couch by 9pm. Diane was about to wake the young girl up when Alex stopped her, "it's okay mum, I'll take her to bed." Alex walked towards the lounge room and picked up her little sister, slowly walking towards her room. She lay Lucy down on the bed, but she still didn't wake up, that kid slept like a log. Alex pulled off her socks and sweats, before slipping her into her favourite purple pyjamas. Still, through all of that, Lucy still didn't wake up. Alex pulled back the blue blanket, which used to be hers, and tucked Lucy in for the night. Just when Alex was about to get up from the bed, Lucy reached out for her, wanting a hug before she left. Alex leant over and wrapped her little sister into a big hug, letting Lucy nuzzle her face in Alex's long hair. Alex held onto her for another moment before tucking her back under the covers, turning off the light and heading back to the kitchen. Diane and Piper were still sitting at the kitchen table, talking about the finishing touches Piper was putting on her short story book. Alex poured herself an orange juice before sitting herself next to Piper.

"I don't know how you can still carry her like that Alex, she's not exactly small anymore."

Alex laughed at her mum's comment. It's true, Lucy wasn't a baby anymore, she'd be turning 11 soon. But in some ways Alex didn't want her to grow up and not need her anymore. She liked the fact that Lucy still crawled into her bed at night, and called her when she needed someone. She still wanted to be able to pick Lucy up off the couch and carry her to bed, even if she was getting taller by the day. Soon enough the kid would enter her teenage years, and Alex was pretty sure at that stage that Lucy wouldn't want to crawl into her big sister's bed anymore.

"What can I say, I'm obviously way stronger than you," Alex said with a smirk.

"Keep telling yourself that kiddo!"

The three women stayed up for another hour before Diane headed to bed, she had an early shift the next morning. Alex and Piper moved to the couch, where they snuggled under a blanket and flipped around the TV stations. Alex wasn't working the next day, so would be the one to take Lucy to and from school. Piper had a short shift at the library and a meeting with her publisher.

The two women were sitting next to each other on the couch under the blanket. Alex had taken off her bra to get comfortable and was resting her head on Piper's shoulder. All night, Piper couldn't get Alex's words out of her mind, _make love to me_. Piper wanted to show Alex how much she loved her, and her arousal was building. Piper slipped her hand under the blanket and under Alex's tank top so she could massage her breasts. Piper heard Alex's breath hitch in her throat as Piper continued to slowly run her hand in circular motions over Alex's bare skin. Alex moved her head so she could look directly at Piper, who didn't waste any time in dipping her head to kiss her girlfriend. The kiss started out slowly, Piper gently running her tongue over Alex's bottom lip before slowly moving it into her mouth. The two girls continued to kiss as Piper moved her hand to Alex's other breast, while the other rested on the back of Alex's head, pulling her into the kiss. Piper moved her hand from Alex's breast and moved it over her stomach, running her finger's tenderly over every inch of her girlfriend's incredibly soft and smooth skin. She eventually moved her hand lower, under the waistband of Alex's shorts. She rubbed her hand in long motions over Alex's centre, over the top of her underwear. Piper could already feel the heat radiating from her girlfriend as she started to kiss down her neck slowly before capturing her lips again.

Without needing to speak, Piper pulled Alex into their room, making sure the door was firmly closed behind them. Piper pushed Alex's old desk chair against the door to make sure no one could just walk in. Piper then flicked on Alex's CD player on low volume, which started playing The Breeders in the background. Piper wanted this to be all about Alex, nothing else. She walked Alex to the double bed and sat her down. She slowly pulled off Alex's tank top and shorts, leaving her sitting on the bed in her black boy shorts. Piper placed her hands on Alex's cheeks, lightly moving her fingers over the soft skin before leaning down to kiss her again. Piper kept the kiss going as she moved Alex into a lying position on the bed, with Piper lying on top of her. Piper kept kissing Alex on the mouth as her hands moved over her girlfriend's torso, starting at her incredibly soft breasts and slowly making her way down over her stomach. Piper could feel Alex responding to each and every touch underneath her. Alex had started to breathe much more heavily, and desperately sought out Piper's lips. Alex kept moving up her own hips to try and get more contact with Piper, which didn't go unnoticed. Piper looked directly into Alex's green eyes, placing her hands on either side of her head to hold herself up. Piper started to grind her hips against Alex's in slow, hard motions. Piper didn't kiss her at first, and solely focussed on the movement of her hips. Piper could tell Alex was enjoying the extra contact as her breathing became faster and she started to make soft moaning sounds. Alex now had her eyes shut as she placed her hands on Piper's hips in an attempt to pull her closer. As Alex leaned her head back with her mouth slightly open, Piper leaned back down to steal a kiss, but this time she kept the kiss going as she continued grinding her core against Alex's. She could feel the heat radiating from between Alex's thighs, and decided it was time to take things to the next level. Piper moved her fingertips to Alex's underwear and slowly pulled them off, throwing them to the end of the bed. She held onto Alex's thighs as she pulled the younger girl closer to her. Piper started kissing Alex's cheek, then lips, and slowly made her way down her girlfriend's body. Piper slowly kissed Alex's breasts and nipples, her stomach, and then settled herself between the brunette's thighs. Piper licked and kissed the inside of each thigh until she focussed herself on Alex's core.

Piper placed her hands on Alex's thighs and slowly moved them further apart as she moved her tongue over Alex's clit. Piper took her time, this wasn't just about sex, this was about showing Alex how special she was. Piper wanted this single act to show Alex know how much she loved her, no matter what happened in the future. Alex tried to stay quiet as Piper took her closer to the edge, she was so close to coming undone. Alex used one hand to grasp the sheet as Piper reached out and grabbed the other. Piper intertwined their fingers as Alex thrust her hips upwards and came in Piper's mouth. Alex felt the orgasm move through her entire body, it was more tender and warm than any other time they'd had sex before. Piper brought Alex down from her orgasm before moving her body back on top of her girlfriend and kissing her, "I love you Al."

Alex wrapped her arms around Piper's neck, she didn't want to let go. She loved the feeling of Piper's body pressed against hers, holding her close, "I love you too." Piper moved so she was lying beside Alex, wrapping her arms around the brunette until they both fell asleep.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Piper left the apartment early the next morning for her library shift, while Alex took Lucy to school. Diane had left before any of them to start her shift at the diner. Alex called Kerry as soon as she got home from dropping Lucy off and arranged for another appointment the following week. She hadn't discussed it with Diane, but she wanted to ask Kerry about Diane maybe coming to a session with her. Even though Diane put up a tough front, Alex was still worried about her and wanted to make sure she was coping, especially considering the accusations they would face in court. Those accusations wouldn't just impact on Alex, they would also hit Diane hard. Diane would be forced to face people that would know Robbie implied he had an affair with her daughter. Alex was hopeful that Kerry would be able to help Diane, but the money would still be an issue. She didn't want to worry about that yet, she would discuss it with Piper when the time was right.

Everyone kept telling her to just relax at home, to not worry about the trial, but that was not an option for Alex. She couldn't just sit there and not try and fix things while she had a chance. She knew it was probably a bad idea, but she needed answers, so she let herself dial Emily's number, desperately hoping she'd answer.

Two hours later and Emily was standing in front of Alex in the Vause apartment. Alex had briefly explained the situation on the phone and Emily had agreed to come over. Alex didn't know what to expect, but at least Emily appeared to be sober. She knew Piper would be angry about this, but Alex was sick of waiting, and part of her thought it was better for her to do this without Piper. The two girls sat across from each other at the kitchen table, neither wanting to be the first one to speak. Alex decided to break the ice, "look, I know things have never been great between us, but I could really use your help. If you can just shed some more light on what happened between you and Robbie, it could help put him away."

Emily looked blankly at Alex from across the table before looking her in the eye, "I want to help you, that's why I contacted you in the first place. I know I'm fucked up, I take drugs, I've lost control of my life. It's not easy to talk about, I don't know if I could stand up and say it in a court room, saying it to you is hard enough."

"Just tell me what he did to you, please." Alex felt like she was begging, but she didn't even care.

This was the first time Emily looked truly sad, almost broken. She kept looking at the table top, trying to decide where to start her story and how much to tell. "He and my mum were together for a pretty long time, they were both pretty fucked up people so that's probably why. The relationship was always rocky, I don't know how they stayed together for so long. He pushed her around a lot, but of course he apologised and she always let him stay. Anyway, the problems for me didn't really start until I was about 15. I brought a girl home and he flipped out! As you worked out the hard way, he doesn't deal well with people like us."

Alex looked at Emily as she told her story, it clearly wasn't an easy topic for her. Alex almost felt bad about forcing Emily to relive her dark past for purely selfish reasons. But at the same time she figured this is part of what Emily wanted all along, to make sure that Robbie couldn't keep hurting people like this. That's what made sense to Alex, she couldn't see any other reason why Emily would have kept in contact with her for so long.

Emily continued her story, obviously struggling with the details, especially when sober, "it's funny, when I first met you, I was so happy that you agreed to meet. I didn't want you to go through the things that I did. Then I met you, and you were so pretty, I liked you. Then I found out you had a girlfriend and it was just like, here's something else I can't have. It's so fucked up, I wanted to help you, but I wanted you to like me too. Anyway, all the bad stuff for me really started after that night he realised who I really was. Probably started similar to how it did for you, pushing and shoving, intimidation. After a while he didn't even bother hiding it from my mum, by that point she was too fucking drunk all the time to care. That just made it worse, he knew he could do what he wanted and she was too pathetic to stand up for me."

Emily paused, fiddling with her jumper as she willed herself to finish the story, "so that's where he just started doing what he wanted with me. Mum was generally passed out most nights, so he'd come into my room and….that was it. I would stay away for as long as I could, but whenever I went back, he was always there to take advantage. After a while I stopped going back, I couldn't, and my mum just kept telling me to leave. I don't know if she even knew what was going on, she's better now, but back then….she was a fucking mess."

Alex reached across the table and grabbed Emily's hand, "I'm really sorry you had to go through all that on your own."

Emily just grimaced as she forced herself to go on, "I ended up getting an abortion because of that asshole, I never told him though, or my mum. I don't even know what made my mum throw him out eventually, maybe she realised how fucking pathetic he was when she managed to sober up. So yeah…I don't talk to my mum much anymore, he ruined my whole fucking life." Emily paused again and stared off into the distance. Alex felt her chest constrict at hearing this story, she felt sorry for Emily. Alex couldn't even imagine coping with her own situation without support from Diane and Piper, Emily had to deal with it all without help from anyone. Alex was still confused by Emily and all of her strange behaviours, but considering what she'd been through, maybe it wasn't all that surprising.

"But I don't think I can say that stuff in a courtroom Alex. I'm willing to give a statement to the police, but that's it. Like I said, I like you, I want to help, so I hope that's enough."

Alex had no idea if it would be enough but at least it was a starting point. She wanted to arrange for Emily to speak with Officer Bennett, but she wanted to be there for that conversation. Alex appreciated Emily agreeing to come over and talk about it all, but she still didn't completely trust her. Just as Alex was about to call Officer Bennett to set up a meeting time, Piper walked through the front door. She looked at Alex in shock as she saw Emily sitting in their kitchen, Alex hadn't planned for Piper to find out this way and had no idea how to deal with the situation. Piper's shock soon turned to anger, and Alex knew she needed to diffuse the situation quickly.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22 – all you can do

"What the fuck is she doing here Alex!" Piper's anger immediately bubbled over as she stormed towards Emily.

"I invited her over, it's okay Pipes." Alex's immediate instinct was to grab Piper's arm, but the blonde shook her off immediately.

"I was pretty much done anyway, sorry." With that, Emily got up and left the apartment without looking either girl in the face.

"What the fuck Alex! Why the hell did you invite her over when there's no one else here?"

"I just needed to talk to her okay, I needed the facts. It's just something I had to do on my own." Alex knew Piper had every right to be mad, but she really did feel like she needed to talk with Emily on her own. Sure, she was strange, but Alex didn't believe she was in danger by being alone with Emily.

Piper tried to calm down, but she wasn't done being mad at Alex, "I don't trust her Alex! I don't want you being alone with her."

"She's not gonna kill me Pipes, she's just messed up, I can handle her."

Piper was so frustrated with Alex in that moment, she just didn't get it, didn't understand how afraid Piper was of something happening to Alex. "She's fucking crazy Alex! And you have no way of knowing what she will do to you." Piper's mind was overrun with so many different images, all of Alex, but none of them good. "Anything to do with Robbie, it…..fuck, I'm scared of something happening to you." Alex saw the tears building up in Piper's eyes and didn't hesitate in wrapping her arms around the blonde.

Piper let herself cry into Alex's shoulder, but she wasn't even really sure why she was crying. Nothing bad had happened, and she knew Alex was perfectly capable of protecting herself against Emily. But Piper still couldn't shake that fear, she tried so hard and now her emotions were spilling over. She'd seen Alex hurt so many times, both physically and emotionally, and Piper was so afraid of it happening again. She knew she trusted Alex, but she wanted to be the one to keep her safe, from others and herself. It was something she'd need to learn to deal with better, she couldn't be with Alex all the time. But Piper knew she wasn't the only one struggling with it, Diane also struggled to shake that particular fear.

"Look, Emily said she'd provide a statement for the police, that's a major positive. I promise you Pipes, I won't see her alone again. I just felt like I needed to be doing something useful today."

Piper couldn't shake her own anxiety but she didn't want to turn this into a fight. She accepted Alex's words as the two went on with the rest of their day.

 **0-0-0-0-0-0**

The weeks rolled on until the court proceedings finally started in November, which was earlier than expected. The public prosecutions office spent a lot of time working with the police and believed they had a good chance of getting a conviction. Robbie was pleading not guilty, forcing Alex to sit through a longer court process. She had mentally prepared herself for this, and had spent a lot of time talking with the police and public prosecutors. Alex was terrified of how she would cope with it all, and spent most of her time with Kerry talking about coping mechanisms. Her biggest fear was losing self control and doing something to upset Piper, she always tried to be open and honest about her feelings but it was still a struggle. Some days were better than others, and Alex tried her hardest to not shut Piper out but it wasn't always that straight forward. There were still fights, dreams and panic attacks. Piper eventually convinced Alex to let her help pay for weekly sessions with Kerry, which were definitely helping. But the closer it got to Robbie and Alex speaking in court, the more anxious Alex became.

It was the usual parade of lawyers and witnesses including the police and paramedics that attended to Alex on the two separate occasions she was openly attacked by Robbie. Alex sat through most of it, forcing herself to listen and not fall apart. Even though Emily didn't testify due to mental health issues, the police did provide a copy of her statement, which detailed the abuse she suffered because of Robbie, including the abortion. Proof that the abortion was in fact real was also provided by the clinic, although they couldn't prove who the father was. Robbie's ex, and Emily's mum, wasn't present for any of the court dates and refused to provide any statements to the police.

With each passing day, Robbie's lawyers continued to build their case, stating that Robbie truly believed his interactions with Alex were consensual. Their case also relied on statements from a psychiatrist stating that Robbie suffered from multiple mental health conditions, which made it difficult for him to properly understand human interactions. This was meant to help strengthen their case that Robbie believed he'd done nothing wrong. Alex was completely numb as she sat and listened to those testimonies, it was taking its toll on her. But she tried to be conscious of the fact that it was also taking its toll on Piper and Diane, who took turns looking after Lucy while the other accompanied Alex to the court sessions. This went on for a week before Alex was forced to face the part she was most afraid of, her own testimony. She would go first, then Robbie. The idea of sitting through both of those scenarios made her feel sick to her stomach.

Kerry was worried about Alex opening herself up to questioning from Robbie's legal team. Even though Alex was slowly getting better, there was still a long way to go. Kerry's primary concern was how Alex would cope with being questioned in the court room like that. It would be an incredibly intense situation, putting Alex under a huge amount of pressure. Kerry was also worried about how Alex would cope with the line of questioning around the sexual assaults, which was something Alex still struggled with. But Alex was determined to go ahead with it, she felt like she had to defend herself, had to take the opportunity to speak for herself. The police and public prosecutors office were worried about Alex testifying, but she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she didn't do it.

Alex had no idea how she would cope with the questioning. She knew she wanted to be strong and not let it break her, but deep down she couldn't guarantee that. Even though on the whole she was getting better, and she was learning to deal with her emotions, she still had bad days, and she didn't even know why. Alex tried to be as open with Piper as possible, but it was still an ongoing battle. It wasn't easy to admit to your girlfriend that some days it took all your energy to just crawl out of bed. That some days she couldn't stop the thoughts racing through her head of everything Robbie did to her, and the anxiety that followed. None of it was easy, and even though she would probably always have bad days, Alex had built up the resilience to always keep trying.

Alex had even gone as far as making Nicky promise to never give her drugs, no matter how much she might beg. That was a difficult conversation to have, and one that Alex and Nicky had alone. Alex hated it, but she wasn't so naïve as to believe she would never ask Nicky for drugs again. Having to admit that to herself really hurt, it made her feel like she was letting Piper down, but her addiction still had a strong hold on her, maybe it always would. It was something Alex had relied on heavily in the past to get through life, and it would be something she would always struggle with for the rest of her days. All Alex could do was acknowledge her downfalls and try to keep it together.

Piper and Diane were obviously huge drivers for Alex to work so hard at bettering herself, but Lucy was probably the biggest driver. Alex had always felt such a strong sense of responsibility when it came to Lucy, like she was the one who should be looking after her and protecting her at all times. It was probably because of all the time they spent alone together growing up. Alex didn't blame her mum for any of that, Diane worked long hours so she could provide them with a home, not because she wanted to. Diane never got support from anyone in her life, she always did it alone. Alex had no idea how her mum got through so much on her own and came out the other side in one piece. It was just one of the reasons Alex loved Diane as much as she did, aside from the fact that Diane was always there for her daughters.

But if Alex was being totally honest with herself, it was Piper that made her want to make the initial changes to her life, to realise that her way of dealing with things was not sustainable. Alex felt like she owed so much to the women in her life, she needed to try as hard as she fucking could to get better.

The day finally arrived, and Alex found herself sitting at the front of the court room, which was thankfully closed to the public. Given the sensitive nature of the case, it was also agreed that Robbie would not be present in the court room during Alex's testimony. The prosecution had already spoken to her, asking the basic questions to confirm that Robbie was abusive on multiple occasions and there was never anything remotely representing a consensual relationship. This included drawing on Emily's statement, which in many ways paralleled Alex's experience, especially highlighting Robbie's issues with homosexuality. But now it was time for Alex to face Robbie's lawyer, once again she felt numb. The silence was deafening, all Alex could hear was a ringing in her ears. She could feel the sweat in her hair and her heat beating in her chest. Alex focussed on Piper, who was one of the few people sitting in the room, while Diane was at home with Lucy. Alex kept reminding herself to just focus on Piper, her smile, her eyes, anything to get her through the next round of questions.

Robbie's lawyer stood in front of Alex in his navy suit and white shirt. He didn't look much older than 40 and Alex decided he probably hadn't been forced to struggle much through life. "Ms Vause, please explain your relationship with Robert Green."

Alex kept reminding herself of the advice from the police, keep all answers simple and quick. "He was my mum's boyfriend."

"And how long were they together?"

"Ummm, they dated for about 6 months before he moved in with us. Then he lived with us for about another 6 months."

"And it wasn't just you and your mother in the house, you have a younger sister?"

"Yeah, she's 10." The sudden mention of Lucy made Alex very uncomfortable, but she tried to not let it show.

"And Mr Green helped look after both you and your sister, is that correct?" The lawyer kept pacing the room in front of her as he methodically asked his sequence of questions.

"Yeah."

"Not only did he help take care of you both, he always gave your mother a considerable amount of money to help pay the bills."

"I guess."

"In fact, your mother struggled a lot financially. It seems there were many times growing up when you spent time in shelters. Seems the inclusion of Mr Green in your lives gave a lot more security to you all than you had in the past."

Alex didn't say anything, and just looked the defence lawyer in the eye. She hated the suggestion that Diane couldn't look after them properly on her own, but she knew she had to bite her tongue.

"So your mother obviously trusted Mr Green and he went to a lot of effort to help care for you and your sister. It also seems that you would have spent a lot of time together, and gotten quite close."

"I wouldn't say that."

"You claim that Mr Green assaulted you several times over the course of many months, but you never said anything about it to your mother. There's also no record of any of these assaults, literally no evidence they took place. I understand you had a difficult relationship with your biological father, which lead to a drug overdose, is that correct Ms Vause?"

"It's not that simple," Alex was interrupted before she could say anything more.

"Just a simple yes or no please Ms Vause. You had issues with your biological father which resulted in a drug overdose?"

Alex could feel herself sweating and getting angry, but tried to hold it together, "yes."

"And your younger sister, she has a different father, correct?"

"Yes."

"So throughout your entire life you've had no father figure, and when you found your father he didn't really want to know you. So it seems very reasonable for you to develop a close relationship with Mr Green."

Again, Alex said nothing. She clenched her jaw to try and hold in her anger, finally tasting the smallest amount of blood in her mouth as she bit her bottom lip hard.

"You're a young girl, finally living in the same house as a positive male role model, it's only natural that you'd develop feelings for Mr Green."

"I never had feelings for him! I'm gay, something that he took issue with."

"Well it seems that after you established the initial relationship with Mr Green, you became interested in someone else, Piper Chapman."

"I was never interested in Robbie! It was always Piper."

"Well Ms Vause, surely you can appreciate there are some holes in your story. No record or evidence of Mr Green ever abusing you, and the relationship became difficult once you developed feelings for Ms Chapman."

Alex started to feel dizzy, her heart was pounding and she was struggling to focus. She tried to just focus on her breathing, she couldn't believe what this asshole was suggesting. "He put me in the fucking hospital! He attacked me twice!"

"AFTER you started sleeping with Ms Chapman, Mr Green doesn't deny those two physical altercations took place."

At this point Alex zoned out, she couldn't listen anymore, she felt like a zombie for the rest of her time being questioned. Robbie's lawyer just kept talking about how Alex and Robbie were together until Alex became interested in Piper, which led to the physical altercations. Alex couldn't concentrate, she couldn't even remember what other questions Robbie's lawyer asked her or what she said.

Alex lost track of Piper and couldn't bring herself to look her girlfriend in the eye, she felt ashamed. Once the testimony was finished the police and prosecutor tried to get Alex to speak with them but she just couldn't, all she could do was take Piper's hand and walk out of the court house. Piper gave the others a sympathetic look as Alex pulled her along, saying she'd call them later. It would be another couple of days before they needed to be back in court, which Piper was incredibly grateful for. Alex needed time to deal with what just happened. They got to the car, and Piper let Alex into the passenger seat before she sat herself behind the wheel. As soon as Piper closed her door she looked over at Alex, who was obviously trying to keep her breathing steady, running her hands through her sweaty dark hair.

Piper leaned over and placed her hand on Alex's leg, "tell me what you need Al." Piper knew she needed to stay calm, all she wanted to do was support Alex and help her get through the rest of the day.

Eventually, Alex responded, "I'm not ready to go home, let's go to Nicky's." Piper was worried about going to Nicky's, but she wasn't going to say no. Piper called ahead and made sure Nicky was home before driving to her place. They parked the car outside Nicky's 20 minutes later, "Al, I'm here for you okay, you were amazing today. Don't let this beat you today." Piper looked Alex in the eyes as she spoke, but she could see that Alex had switched off, which scared the hell out of Piper. She knew that Alex only ever switched off as a last resort, and today had been incredibly difficult for her. The suggestion that she'd had a relationship with Robbie, and dragging both her and Lucy's father's into the equation was almost too much for Alex. It was especially the suggestion that Diane couldn't take care of them properly that cut Alex deeply. For so long, Diane was the only parent Alex ever had, and she loved her more than she could ever express. All of these things combined to put Alex under a completely new type of pressure, so it wasn't surprising she was struggling to process it all.

Nicky welcomed them into her apartment, inviting them to sit in the lounge room and have a few beers. Nicky knew better than to ask about the court case, and tried to keep the mood light. Alex tried to laugh along, but it felt completely hollow. She had managed to calm down her exterior, but she still felt that nagging pain in her chest. She kept a tight hold on Piper's hand the whole time they were at Nicky's, but she was starting to feel lost. Alex excused herself and went to the bathroom, she put the toilet lid down and sat there, trying to work out how to pull it together. She had a thumping headache and started searching through the bathroom drawers for painkillers. As soon as she opened the top drawer she saw a familiar sight, Nicky's pocket knife. It wasn't heroin, but it was still something that held a certain temptation for Alex, something she wanted. Without even thinking she took the knife from the drawer and sat back down on the toilet. She flicked out the blade and stared at it, let herself be tempted by it. She let herself imagine how it could make her feel better, help to get rid of that lost feeling. Alex pulled up her sleeve and looked down at her arm, what she saw was perfect pale skin. She started slowly running the knife up and down her arm, without pushing hard enough to break the skin. She closed her eyes, slowly leaning her head against the wall, desperately wanting to feel better but not sure how to get there.

She could hear Piper and Nicky laughing from the lounge room, completely changing her train of thought. Now when Alex closed her eyes, all she could see was Piper. It was the first time they met on the street late at night, their first kiss, and every moment that followed. There were so many times when Piper could have left, but she didn't, she always stayed. Alex knew that Piper loved her, and Alex loved her back, more than she thought she could ever love someone. Not only that, Alex remembered how much she wanted to make Piper happy. She kept leaning her head against the wall as she took some deep breaths and put the knife back in the top drawer. Alex was scared by how close she'd come to doing something so stupid, but she tried to focus on the fact that she stopped herself. Alex went back to the lounge room to sit with Nicky and Piper.

Nicky was worried about Alex and could sense her friend was struggling, "You okay Vause?"

"Yeah, all good Nick." Alex sat down next to Piper, putting an arm around her shoulders as she tried to focus on the positive things in her life.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

It was nearly 7pm by the time Alex and Piper got home, finding Lucy and Diane sitting at the kitchen table eating toasted sandwiches for dinner. Diane was incredibly relieved to see them walk through the door, she had been worried all day about how Alex would cope with being questioned. As soon as Alex walked into the kitchen Diane stood up and pulled Alex into a tight hug, gently rubbing her back. Alex felt herself getting emotional, but didn't want to get upset in front of Lucy. It was as though Diane's presence, her touch, always made Alex feel at ease.

"Are you okay sweetie?" said Diane as she pulled back to look Alex in the face. Diane could see how tired Alex was, but she seemed to be doing okay.

Alex whispered her response into Diane's ear, "I wasn't sure at first, but I am now." Diane kissed Alex on the cheek and led her into the lounge so they could talk more. Piper sat down with Lucy and talked about school and homework.

Diane sat Alex on the couch, never letting go of her hand, "how did it go?"

"It was really hard mum, really hard. I did my best, but fuck, I dunno. I couldn't even think straight by the end of it, I couldn't concentrate, I just switched off."

Diane hugged Alex again, "I'm proud of you baby, you stood your ground today." Diane kept brushing Alex's long hair out of her eyes, "and it's okay to struggle sometimes Ally, that doesn't make you weak."

Alex nodded and leaned into her mum, letting her head rest against Diane's chest. Alex listened to Diane's heart beat and let herself relax into her mum. "We'll talk about what happened tomorrow okay. Tonight, let's get you some dinner and just have a good time. Lucy's been waiting to see you all day!"

This made Alex smile, and the two women made their way back to the kitchen where Lucy and Piper were already deep in conversation. Today had been difficult, but Alex just had to remind herself that she survived, that's all anyone could ever do.

 **A/N**

 **Hey folks,**

 **Apologies for the delay with this chapter, it wasn't my intention for it to take this long. Going forward, I will try to keep my updates to 1-2 per week to keep things moving along at a nice pace.**

 **It would be great to get feedback from you on how you feel the court stuff is playing out. FYI – I have broadly based this on the Australian court system as I have no idea how the American system works.**

 **All reviews welcome and appreciated.**

 **Cheers.**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23 – it's almost over

Alex and Diane joined Piper and Lucy back in the kitchen. Alex was determined to try and relax before she had to go back to court in a couple more days. When she went back she'd be forced to listen to Robbie's testimony, then it would all be up to the judge. As soon as Alex sat in a kitchen chair, Lucy moved to sit in her lap, "maybe if you aren't working tomorrow I could stay home from school? We could spend the whole day together." Alex had taken some time off from the café to help her cope with the trial, and she loved the idea of spending the day with Lucy.

Lucy looked over to Diane, silently pleading to stay home from school. Diane would have ordinarily said no, but she thought it would be good for both of them, so she gave in and said yes. Lucy couldn't wipe the smile from her face, "so what should we do Ally?"

"Whatever you want kid. How about you Pipes? What are your plans for tomorrow?"

"I'm at the library in the morning and then meeting with my publisher, we're so close to running a first print! I know it's only a boutique publishing house but I'm so excited!"

"That's amazing babe," Alex leaned over and kissed Piper on the lips, she was genuinely proud of her. Despite everything that was going on in their lives, Piper still managed to write a book that would actually be published. It would initially just hit the local independent stores but still, it was a big deal. It was one of the positive things happening in their lives, making it something Alex wanted to focus on and celebrate. She wanted to do something special for Piper to let her know that they were all proud of her. Alex didn't even know if Piper told her dad about the book, Bill hadn't spoken to Piper much lately, presumably he was under the watchful eye of Carol.

Alex felt like getting out of the house, so she took Lucy for a walk around the corner to get an ice cream, leaving Diane and Piper at home together. Diane didn't waste time in taking the opportunity to ask Piper how Alex went in court, "be honest with me sweetie, how did Alex go today?"

"She was okay, she actually coped with it better than I thought she would. I….I got a bit worried at the end but after we spent some time at Nicky's she seemed to feel better."

"And how about you? I know none of this has been easy on you Piper."

Piper didn't even know how to answer that question, she'd focussed so much on Alex that she had no idea how she was feeling. She tried to slow down her mind and think about it, "I don't even know. I guess…I've just been thinking about Alex. This whole time I've been scared about how she'd deal with it all. I just want this all behind us, I want life to go back to normal so we can all just start living our lives again."

"I know you worry about Alex sweetie but don't forget to take care of yourself. This has been rough on you, you two need to be strong for each other."

 **0-0-0-0-0**

The day had come and Alex found herself sitting in the court room again with Piper, but at least this time she wouldn't be the one doing the talking. Piper had spoken to Diane about which one of them would go with Alex and they decided Piper would go. This was an outcome Piper pushed for, not because she didn't think Diane would be able to keep Alex calm, but because Piper was worried about how Diane would react to seeing Robbie again. Diane had still never told Piper or Alex what happened between her and Robbie when they were in the bedroom together the night he was arrested. Piper knew Alex had asked Diane multiple times but never had any luck getting the older woman to open up. Diane seemed to be holding it together, but Piper was still worried about how she would cope seeing Robbie again and listening to him speak about Alex. Alex didn't seem to mind who went with her to court, she just didn't want to be alone. The brunette had been trying to regain her old tough exterior, which seemed to work for her sometimes. But still, every night when they got into bed, Alex laid her head on Piper's chest and let the blonde gently stroke her cheek until she fell asleep. Every time Alex had a bad dream, she let Piper comfort her until she calmed down. It had taken Alex a long time to separate being tough from showing vulnerability, it was something that Piper had been able to teach her.

As soon as Robbie sat at the front of the court room he locked eyes with Alex, and the two found themselves in an emotionless visual exchange. Robbie still had hatred in his eyes for Alex, but there was no way Alex would be the first one to look away. She was determined to put up a tough exterior in front of him. She would never let him know just how much he had managed to hurt her, Alex never wanted him to have that satisfaction. Most of his testimony was no surprise to Alex or Piper, he simply reinforced the story that had already been told about the supposed relationship between himself and Alex. Then the question of Alex's sexuality was raised, "Mr Green, Alex Vause claims you hate homosexuals, which led to you abusing her. But in actual fact, your own daughter is gay, isn't she?"

Robbie put on his best caring dad impersonation, "she is, and I still love my daughter, I could never turn her away because of something she can't control."

"But what about the statement she provided to the police?"

"Things went badly between myself and Emily's mother, I'll never forgive myself for that. Her mother turned Emily against me, she never wanted to see me after the divorce, but I still think about her every day, I love my daughter."

"Thank you Mr Green. Now, could you describe Alex's own behaviour after you started living with the Vause family?"

"Diane loved her kids but she could never control Alex, she was always getting into trouble, always trying to bring girls home for sex. I didn't want her younger sister to be exposed to that sort of thing, I was worried about her safety. Alex was bringing home girls constantly, who knows if any of them tried to do anything to Lucy. I helped pay the bills so Diane could be home more to try and get through to Alex, but it was impossible."

Alex squeezed Piper's hand and felt an instant pain in her temple. She couldn't believe what she was hearing, she never brought random girls home to the apartment, ever. She would never do anything to put Lucy in danger. She put herself in harms way to make sure that Robbie never got his hands on Lucy. And now he had the guts to sit there and say that she put her little sister in danger, that she would have let something like that happen to Lucy. It was hard to listen to, but still, Alex never lost eye contact with that monster. She had trouble concentrating on the rest of his testimony, it was a blur for her. She caught snippets about how she had come onto Robbie and he regretfully accepted her sexual advances. He claimed that she was infuriated when he tried to end the relationship for Diane's sake, and spoke about how Alex then decided she wanted to sleep with Piper. It all made Alex sound like she was the monster, like she was the sexual deviant. She was once again thankful that they managed to secure a closed courtroom. Everyone in their neighbourhood already thought she was worthless, they would have a field day if they heard any of the conversations happening in court.

Both girls were relieved when the prosecution had their turn for questioning, putting holes in his story based on evidence from Emily, as well as Alex's injuries.

"I felt horrible for what I did to Alex, she didn't deserve it, she just made me lose my mind."

That fucking bastard, Alex forced herself to zone out again, she didn't want to hear anymore. By the time the session was finished she felt dirty, like Robbie was somehow getting into her own head and convincing her that she was disgusting, a waste of space. Just like she did two days earlier, Alex pulled Piper from the court room and dragged her down the street. They eventually walked into a small café and Piper ordered them two coffees.

"Please Al, talk to me."

Alex tried to remain emotionless, she wasn't willing to break down in public again, she just wanted something to numb her emotions, make it impossible for her to think. All Alex wanted, all she could think of in that moment was heroin, she couldn't help it. She couldn't even be bothered hiding it from Piper, she needed a release. Alex looked across the table, looked her girlfriend in the eyes. These past few weeks Piper always looked worried, and Alex hated it. Piper could have anyone she wanted, but she somehow ended up with Alex. "I can't lie to you Pipes, all I can think about right now is heroin. If I had some right now, I'd take it and I wouldn't even hesitate. I'm sorry, you deserve better than that, but it's the truth." But that wasn't all. The first thing Alex wanted to do was get high, then she just kept fantasising about what she'd do with that pocket knife. She'd never kill herself, but at the same time she wanted to hurt herself. It didn't really make sense to her, but she couldn't be bothered fighting her feelings anymore, not after today.

"It's been a really tough day Alex, it's normal for you to feel like that. Please just keep trying, tell me how to help." Piper was now scared, but she figured it was a good thing that Alex had at least told her how she was feeling. All this time Piper nagged Alex to be honest with her, no matter what was going on. But now, when she was faced with the reality of what was going through Alex's head, she wasn't sure how to handle it. Surprisingly, it was the first time Piper truly felt like she was in over her head in this relationship. Things had gotten better for a while, now life had become so difficult again. It was wearing her down, she loved Alex so much but at the same time, sometimes lately she found herself wanting her quiet life back. Piper wasn't only scared of what Alex was feeling, she was scared of what she herself was thinking. She just kept trying to remind herself about all the great things in her new life, how much she loved Alex, and how sweet Lucy was, how much she loved hanging out with Diane. But it had all started to wear Piper down, she started wanting a break of her own, but she didn't want to tell that to Alex.

The two girls sat in the booth long after they'd finished their coffees, with Piper absentmindedly holding Alex's hand. Piper had never felt so torn in her entire life, part of her wanted to look after Alex while another part just wanted to run away. Eventually, Piper led Alex out of the booth and drove them both home, Diane was working and Lucy was at school. Both girls went into their room, Alex took off her boots and sat on the edge of the bed. Piper could see her girlfriend had completely shut down, she started thinking maybe it was best if she left Alex alone for a few hours.

"What can I do Al?" Piper brushed Alex's long hair from her face, she didn't even look sad anymore, her eyes were completely empty.

Alex looked up at her girlfriend and uttered a single word, "nothing." Alex lay down on the bed and closed her eyes.

Piper looked down at Alex and thought that this was a good opportunity to clear her own head, maybe do some writing, or even just go for a drive on her own. "Why don't I let you sleep for a few hours, I might go do some writing okay, call me if you need anything."

Alex felt a strike of terror run through her chest, the last thing she wanted was to be alone, but she wasn't willing to say that to Piper. Fuck, she wanted to be able to stand on her own two feet and not have Piper feel like she needed babysitting. Alex told her it was fine, gave her a kiss, and watched the blonde walk out of the bedroom and the apartment. Alex didn't realise how tired she was until she took off her jeans and got into bed. She closed her eyes as soon as her head hit the pillow and welcomed sleep.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Two hours had passed and Alex was still sleeping, but her mind was in over drive, she couldn't stop thinking about the way Robbie spoke about her. Eventually her mind turned to vivid dreams, dreams of herself and Robbie in every possible scenario imaginable. Sometimes he was on top of her, sometimes he was cutting her, other times they were just talking. Eventually, Alex woke up completely startled, her hair sweaty and sticking to her face. She realised her palms hurt, she looked at her hands and noticed she had dug her own nails into her palms while she was sleeping. She didn't even feel like she was going to have an anxiety attack, she felt lost and out of control. She reached out for Piper before she realised her girlfriend wasn't there. Alex could tell that Piper needed alone time, she was probably starting to get sick of the situation, of having a girlfriend that constantly needed her help as the whole court process dragged out. Alex had completely underestimated how hard it would be, it made her angry. She felt like she was doing well before the trial started and now she was back to square one. Her thoughts became more and more irrational, she couldn't stop fidgeting, couldn't stop shaking. She knew Nicky wouldn't give her anything after Alex made her promise not to. But there was one person that would probably help her out, Alex took out her phone and let her finger hover over the name on the screen – Emily.

Before Alex could dial the number she heard the front door swing open followed by the sound of her mum's familiar and comforting voice, "Alex, Piper, you guys home?" Alex couldn't tell if she was happy or angry that Diane had interrupted her actions, there was no doubt that if her mum hadn't gotten home at that exact moment, Alex would have called Emily and asked for heroin. It just made Alex feel defeated, and she couldn't be bothered answering Diane's call. Alex let herself slide down the side of her bed until she was sitting on the floor in her boxers and t-shirt. It wasn't long before Diane walked into the room, she saw Alex sitting on the floor alone and not looking well.

Diane sat on the floor next to her daughter, "Ally, are you okay?"

Again, Alex just sat there in silence, nothing she could say would make Diane feel good, so she chose silence instead. Piper already couldn't be bothered with her anymore, Diane might as well follow suit.

"Baby, tell me what happened." Diane put her arm around Alex's shoulders and looked her in the eye, "please tell me if you've taken anything."

Alex let her head rest on Diane's shoulder, "no."

Diane believed her, but there was clearly something very wrong. Diane moved and placed her hands on Alex's cheeks, trying to get through to her daughter, who looked like she was a million miles away, "you're scaring me baby, tell me what happened today."

Alex just screwed her face up and shook her head, she couldn't bring herself to talk about it, not yet.

Diane moved the sweaty hair out of Alex's face, "where's Piper?"

"She had to go."

This didn't seem right to Diane, something had obviously happened but Alex was in no state to talk about it. "Okay. Well, I got another hour before Lucy finishes school. Let's get you in the shower, it might make you feel better."

Diane tried to get Alex to stand up but it was useless, the last thing Alex wanted right now was to feel better. All she wanted to do was sit on the floor and wallow in self-pity, but she didn't want to worry Diane, she knew she owed her some sort of explanation.

"Please Ally, you gotta talk to me baby."

Alex looked Diane dead in the eye as she spoke, her eyes dark and completely void, "I think everyone's right mum, I am a fuck up. I was gonna try and find some drugs when you walked in, there's no point lying about it to you. No fucking point pretending to be something I'm not, I'm nothing mum, I don't know how to get through this. I'm no good for Lucy, she deserves better than me."

"Don't you fucking dare say that Alex, don't you fucking fall in a heap now! I know this is all wrapped up in what happened today, but if you don't tell me anything then I can't help you."

Alex was surprised at herself as she pushed Diane off her and spoke back, her voice laced with anger, "you don't tell me anything either! You never fucking told me when Emily's mum contacted you and you've never told me what Robbie said to you when you were both alone that night he got arrested!"

Diane was taken aback, Alex almost never spoke to her like that, but she couldn't blame her. Diane spent a lot of her own time running away from her problems, but she wanted to at least try and be a better example for her daughters. She reached out to Alex and tried to calm her down, but Alex just kept pushing her away, "okay Ally, okay, you're right. Please don't hate me, all I ever wanted to do was protect you, maybe I went about it the wrong way. Sit down, and I'll tell you what happened."

Alex was breathing heavily by this point, she was agitated and resisted the urge to run out of the apartment. She sat on the bed and waited for Diane to speak, "He came into the room and sat next to me on the bed. I asked if he'd hurt you, of course he said you were fine. It was mostly silent, he just kept telling me that he loved me. He kept saying that he wanted to come back and look after me, but I said no. I said that I could never love him again after what he did to you, that you and Lucy are everything to me. That's when he just went quiet, just didn't say anything. I think he was sad, and I was just scared about what he'd done to you. Baby all I wanted to do was go check on you, and then you walked in and….I saw your face." Diane's voice was quivering and Alex immediately got up and hugged her mum, she wrapped her arms around Diane so tightly, she never wanted to let go.

"I'm sorry mum, I'm such a fucking asshole."

"No baby, you're not, you're just trying to survive."


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24 – I'm okay

Piper didn't feel anything in particular when she left Alex to sleep, all she knew was that she needed time to think, time to clear her head. She got in her car and drove, she wasn't going anywhere in particular, she just wanted to get away. After an hour, she found herself parked outside Danny's apartment. She didn't mean to find herself there, it all seemed to happen subconsciously. She got out of the car and pressed the intercom button for Danny's apartment, letting her legs guide her up the stairs. Piper was then standing at her brother's front door, just staring at it before he opened it, "Pipes, come in, it's great to see you."

Piper gave him a tired smile as she hugged him, his presence felt so safe and familiar, she felt like she was 12 years old again and Danny was comforting her after a fight with their mum. "Everything okay Pipes?"

Piper just sighed into his shoulder and focussed on the feel of his t-shirt against her cheek. For a moment she wished they were kids again and Danny could magically make her feel better, but life wasn't that straight forward anymore. Piper let Danny lead her to the couch where they both sat down, "I'm just feeling a bit lost right now. Everything that's going on with Alex…it's just getting really hard to deal with." Piper had been keeping Danny up to date with the trial, but he didn't know what had happened when Robbie took the stand. "Alex totally shut down today after court, she's not coping. I don't know what to do anymore, the trial is really breaking her. She told me today that she wouldn't hesitate to take heroin if she had it on her. She wouldn't talk, I left her at home, I needed to get out."

"You're all under a huge amount of pressure, no wonder you're feeling like this. You know you can always pick up the phone and call me or come for a visit. Alex needs a lot of help to get through this, but so do you."

Piper knew he was right, but she found herself almost whispering as she spoke again, "I know, so why can't I stop thinking about running away from it all?"

Danny grabbed his sister's hand, "Do you still love her?"

Again, Piper could barely manage a whisper, "of course, she's just so broken right now, it's like she's lost and I can't find her. I can't reach her."

"You need to make more time for yourself Piper. Alex has been through more than most people do in a lifetime, she'll need a lot of help from you, but let me help you Pipes." Danny put his arms around Piper and hugged her. She didn't cry, she felt like she didn't have any tears left, but she still didn't know what to do.

"I don't know if I'm strong enough to help her."

 **0-0-0-0-0-0**

Alex stayed in her room while Diane went to pick up Lucy from school. She felt bad for how she'd treated Diane, but the older woman always had a way of calming her down. Sometimes it felt like Diane was the only one that could get through to her. Alex could never express how much she loved her mum, what she meant to her. Before Diane left to pick up Lucy, she called Kerry and arranged an urgent appointment for the next day, which Diane would also go to. Part of her still wanted to call Emily, but she tried not to think about it. Instead, Alex tried to focus on seeing Lucy soon, and spending time with her. Another 20 minutes passed before Alex heard the front door, with Lucy walking into her room straight away, "hi Ally." Lucy sat on the bed next to Alex and looked up at her.

"Hey Luce," Alex put her arm around her little sister, pulling her close. Alex kicked off her shoes and lay down on her and Piper's bed, pulling Lucy down with her. "Lie with me for a bit? I could use some company."

"Sure, are you okay?" Lucy still couldn't help but worry about Alex.

"I had a rough day, will you hang out with me tonight?"

"Sure, can we go rent a movie?"

"Definitely." Right now, this is all Alex needed. She knew that no matter what happened, Lucy would always accept her. In some ways, that made it all worthwhile for Alex, because at the centre of all this was her need to protect Lucy. Never for a moment did Alex harbour any sort of resentment towards Diane for how she grew up and the opportunities she had missed out on, but she wanted to make sure Lucy had more as she grew up.

Alex and Lucy kept lying together for another 20 minutes, not saying anything. Alex closed her eyes and let her mind drift away, as she kept Lucy close to her. She didn't want to move and be forced to think about the rest of the world. Right now, she could just lie there and relax, knowing that Lucy was next to her and safe. She didn't need to worry about how she'd fix things with Piper, Robbie's trial, or how well Diane was coping with everything. She would have lay there all afternoon with Lucy if she could, but eventually the little girl wanted to get up and go, "will Piper be home later?"

Alex was hoping Lucy wouldn't ask about Piper, but it was inevitable. Lucy spent as much time with Piper now as she did with Alex, there was no way she wasn't going to ask about her.

"I'm really not sure, I hope so."

Lucy seemed to accept Alex's response and the two sister left the apartment and walked a couple of blocks to get a movie and a milkshake. Alex let Lucy take her time, she was in no rush to get back to the apartment and be painfully aware of the fact that Piper wasn't there. She let Lucy dawdle in the store for over 30 minutes before they stopped at the local deli for vanilla milkshakes. They finally started making their way back home with two movies to watch, which Alex only agreed to let Lucy watch if she did her homework first. Alex felt small fingers intertwine with her own as they walked down the street towards home, both on autopilot. Lucy was probably the only person in the world that trusted Alex no matter what. Alex liked to think that trust was never misplaced, even though when it came to her own health and safety, it probably was.

They walked back through the apartment door when all Alex could hear was Lucy's voice, "Hi Piper! Alex wasn't sure when you'd be back. We got some good movies if you wanna watch one with us tonight?"

Piper couldn't help but smile. She never thought she'd be excited at the prospect of watching a kids movie with a ten year old, but right now it sounded like the perfect way to spend her night. "I would love to hang out with you tonight. But you're going to do your homework first right?"

Lucy just rolled her eyes, "yeah yeah, Alex already told me I have to do my homework first." Without missing a beat, Lucy picked up her school bag that she'd dropped in the kitchen when she first got home, and disappeared into her room to do her homework. This left Alex and Piper alone together in the kitchen. Alex didn't know where to look, but eventually she managed to raise her gaze to look at Piper, "where's Diane?"

"She went to pick up a few things for dinner." Piper looked back at Alex, she had so much to say but didn't know where to start.

"Al, I'm sorry I walked out earlier, I shouldn't have left you alone like that. But I'm not going to lie to you, this whole situation with Robbie has been really hard on me too. It has killed me inside to see what this has done to you."

"Pipes," Alex had so much she wanted to say, but Piper cut her off.

"No Al, you need to let me finish. I love you so much, and lately I probably haven't coped well when I didn't know how to help you. Today….today after Robbie's testimony was really the first time I've ever seen you completely shut down. It fucking scared me Alex, I didn't know what to do, my mind was in overdrive, and I just needed some space to think. Life has just become so complicated lately, I've never had to deal with anything this serious, ever. And I feel like an asshole because this is so much harder on you."

"Don't say that Pipes."

But Piper was determined to say her piece, and cut Alex off again, "you need to let me finish". Alex stayed still as she stopped talking, letting Piper continue.

"This is so much harder on you, and I felt like I wasn't strong enough to help you. Al, I have never so desperately wanted to solve everything as much as I do right now. All I want to do is make you feel better, and when I can't, I don't know what to do. Earlier when you just shut down and said you'd take drugs if you had them, it made me feel like I'd somehow failed you."

Alex couldn't help but speak up at this point, "You're not responsible for my fuck ups."

"I know, but I can't help feeling like that. I think I need to try and accept that I won't always be able to make things better, but I can always be there to help you. Even if all I can offer you is a hug, or a kiss, I'll be there. I spent a lot of time thinking today, and the idea of not seeing you every day, it just wasn't even an option."

Alex felt a pain in her chest just at the idea of not seeing Piper every day, she would do everything in her power to make sure Piper never felt that destitute ever again, "Like we've always said from the start Pipes, we can take care of each other".

Piper stepped closer to Alex until their faces were almost touching, and spoke in the softest whisper, "I don't ever want to be apart from you Alex, I fucking love you".

"I love you too."

Piper didn't hesitate in wrapping her arms around Alex and pulling her close. It felt so silly, they'd only been apart for less than a day, but Piper was holding onto Alex like she hadn't seen her in months. They didn't even kiss, all Piper could focus on was the feeling of Alex's body pressed against her own, and how right it felt. Piper had done a lot of thinking that day, she had nearly let her fear win. But the outcome of giving into her fear, not having Alex in her life anymore, just wasn't an option. She felt at home in the small apartment, and that's what she needed to focus on, those feelings of love, home and belonging.

Piper felt small hands tugging at her jumper while she was still hugging Alex, "which movie should we watch first?"

Alex raised an eyebrow at Lucy, "come on kid, just do your homework."

"I'm taking a break, I wanted to make sure we pick our movie for after dinner." With that, Lucy took Piper's hand and dragged her into the lounge room, forcing her to pick a movie. Alex felt so much better than she did a few hours ago, and she couldn't wait to snuggle up on the couch with Piper and Lucy after dinner. Alex sat herself at the kitchen table with a coffee when Diane came through the front door with shopping bags. The older woman was surprised to see Alex up and looking much better. She dropped the bags on the kitchen counter before standing next to Alex and smoothing out her hair, "feeling better?"

Alex nodded and let a faint smile spread across her face, "a lot better, thanks mum."

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Another week went by before the judge was ready to give his final verdict. Both Diane and Piper were in the court room with Alex today, while Lucy was at school. Alex sat in between the other two women, feeling incredibly nervous. She wasn't sure what to feel at this point, she had absolutely no idea how she would react or what sort of sentence she even really wanted. The police and prosecution told them that it can be very hard to get convictions in cases like this, but they were hopeful he wouldn't be set free. As usual, the court room was mostly empty, it was just Robbie and his lawyer, the prosecution, a few police officers, and Alex, Diane and Piper. After what felt like hours, the judge finally entered the room and sat in front of them all. He started talking but Alex's mind was already trying to shut down, as though she could protect herself by ignoring the verdict. There was only one sentence that rang through her ears, _"sentenced to 12 months…. 6 months non parole period…"_

At first Alex wasn't sure if she heard right, " _6 months…just 6 fucking months."_ She wasn't sure what to feel, she linked her fingers through Piper's and felt Diane take her other hand. Maybe she should be happy that he at least got something, that he wasn't found not guilty and let back out on the streets that night. But it didn't feel like enough, she couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't fair. Maybe to the judge it was the right decision based on the evidence, but they were dealing with a man that completely destroyed her life. He nearly took her life himself, and at times the damage he did very nearly left Alex wanting to take her own life. Maybe to others it might not be much, but it was the only life she knew, it was hers. Alex felt Diane slip an arm around her shoulder as all three women walked out of the court room and onto the street. They walked a few blocks where they ended up at Diane's work, where they sat down for coffees and a snack. The women at the diner knew what the family had been going through, and wouldn't let Diane or Piper pay for anything. It was a small gesture but it meant a lot. Diane sat next to Alex, while Piper sat on the other side of the booth.

Once again, Diane slipped her arm around Alex's shoulders and pulled her close, pressing a kiss to her temple, "he can't hurt us anymore Alex."

"And what about in 6 months time when he's out?"

"Don't think like that Ally, this is a win for us, you helped to put him away okay. You should be proud of yourself. We're all a family now remember, and we're gonna get on with our lives, you've already gotten through the hardest part baby." Diane kissed her daughter on the temple again and held her close. Even though Alex was disappointed with the sentencing, Diane was relieved. A part of her was so worried Robbie wouldn't go to prison at all, she had to keep telling herself that this outcome was better than nothing. It would at least give them a chance to try and pull their lives back together, to try and find some happiness. Above it, Diane felt like she could finally relax, at least for a while. The more time she had to relax, the more she could focus on helping Alex.

Piper reached across the table and took Alex's hand, gently rubbing her thumb over the soft ivory skin, "how are you feeling?"

"I don't know. A part of me is relieved, the other part is kinda disappointed. I just wanna work out how to move on with my life." Moving on, that would be the hardest part, but she had to try.

The afternoon felt like it almost went by in slow motion for Alex, the finished their coffees and food at the diner, then went to pick up Lucy from school. Once they got home, Diane explained to Lucy that Robbie had been sent to prison. The little girl immediately looked at Alex, who was standing next to the kitchen counter, and wrapped her arms around the older girls legs. "I knew it would be okay Ally, he can't hurt you anymore."

Alex could practically feel the relief and happiness beaming off Lucy, which just made Alex smile. Lucy could finally relax, she didn't have to keep worrying about Robbie coming back to hurt Alex, and that's all that mattered.

Later that night, while Alex was putting Lucy to bed, Piper took the opportunity to call Danny. It felt good to hear the happiness in his voice when Piper told him what happened, it made her want to be happy. She had to keep reminding herself that despite that gnawing feeling of disappointment in the back of her mind, she had to be positive. She needed to be positive not only for Alex but for herself, it was the only way they could start rebuilding their lives again. Piper felt the tears sting the back of her eyes whenever she thought about how close she came to walking out on Alex. Right now, Piper felt like she couldn't live without her.

Alex came into their bedroom just as Piper finished speaking to Danny. Alex gave her a tired smile, it was only small, but Piper could tell it was genuine. Piper immediately got up off the bed and walked towards the brunette. Piper helped Alex undress and get into a t-shirt to sleep in. Every move was slow and deliberate. Piper took note of every piece of skin her fingers touched, and the smell of Alex's perfume. They both crawled into bed, Alex lay on her back while Piper placed her head on Alex's chest. They lay like that for a while, not needing to speak, until eventually there was something Alex needed to let Piper know, "I'm okay…..I know I've still got a lot to work on, maybe I always will. But I'm okay."

Alex's words weren't much, but Piper knew exactly what she meant.

 **Hi folks,**

 **Sorry I was a little slow with this one. Also, this story is coming to an end, I think there will probably only be another couple chapters. I may revisit this in the future with a sequel, we'll see. I'm open to any prompts if you feel there are any areas of the story that need more fleshing out.**

 **Cheers.**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25 – perfect

At first, time moved slowly for Alex, sometimes it moved painfully slowly. The days and weeks after the trial finished didn't even feel real. It had been so long since Alex felt free, felt like she wasn't living with something dark hanging over her, it felt strange at first. For a while she didn't know what to do with herself, so for those first few weeks she focussed on herself and her family. She spent more time with Kerry, those sessions never got easier but the positives became more noticeable. The biggest thing Alex learnt from Kerry was recognising her own emotions before she lost control of her actions. That in itself felt like a minor miracle, but she still didn't like needing help from Piper to pay for the sessions. One day, Alex would find a way to pay her back, to show Piper that she could take care of her. Even though she couldn't really afford it, Alex took a few weeks off work after the trial. When she wasn't in sessions with Kerry, she spent time with her family. She took Lucy to and from school every day, helped with her homework, and put her to bed. Alex liked being able to focus so much of her time and energy on her sister. Alex could also see the change in Lucy, she seemed more relaxed, happier.

Outside of her time with Lucy, Alex tried so hard to be honest and open with Diane and Piper. It was something she struggled with, but she never stopped trying. She slipped back into old habits with Piper, speaking to her when they were both lying in bed at the end of the day. But she didn't want it to be all one sided, she needed to know that Piper was happy, that she was okay. Alex never let a day go past without asking Piper how she was feeling, how her day was. She never wanted Piper to feel like she didn't care, that she didn't think about her all the time. Alex still couldn't shake the feeling that she had a lot of making up to do.

Even though they had their differences, Alex tried to stay in touch with Emily, Robbie probably wouldn't have spent any time in prison if it weren't for Emily's statement. It at least seemed like Emily was starting to mend her relationship with her mother, and had gone back to live with her. Even though Alex tried to stay in touch with her, they never spoke about Robbie, that topic was off limits. Alex asked Diane if she'd ever heard from Emily's mother again, but she hadn't. Alex was almost too scared to ask Emily how her mother was coping, she figured she must be doing better if her and Emily were living together again. But she never knew for sure.

After about a month, time started to move more quickly for Alex. She went back to work, then it was Christmas, then New Years, and before she knew it Piper's short story book was finally being published and hitting the boutique stores around town. Alex saw this as a chance to really show Piper how much she meant to her, and to say thank you for being her rock over the last 18 months. Even Carol Chapman called her daughter to congratulate her on the book. Piper didn't see her parents over Christmas, but Bill at least called her on Christmas day. But now that her mother had actually phoned her, Piper was completely blown away. That was the first time they had spoken since that failed lunch at the Chapman house all those months ago. Piper felt like she could still see the cut on her face from her mother's ring, even though it had healed long ago.

Alex had been talking to Diane about doing something special to celebrate Piper's book being published. Diane had made dozens of suggestions to Alex on what she could do but none of it felt good enough for Piper. She didn't want to do all the usual things like taking her out to dinner or buying her flowers, all those things felt too dull. None of them were good enough for Piper, to show Piper exactly how proud Alex was of her and how much she loved her. No, this had to be something amazing, something she'd never forget. Alex had already decided that she would take Piper back to the same place she had for her birthday last year. That place held a lot of special memories for Alex, and she wanted to take Piper back there. But she needed something else, she just wasn't sure what.

Diane, Alex and Lucy were sitting down to dinner one night while Piper was meeting with her publisher. Alex was sitting there, twirling her spaghetti around her fork when the most perfect idea came to mind. It seemed so obvious, she felt stupid for not thinking of it sooner. She jumped out of the kitchen chair and ran to get her phone, calling Nicky immediately. It was all coming together, and Alex couldn't stop smiling. She made her way back to the kitchen table after asking Nicky to do some searching for her, "everything alright?" Diane raised an eyebrow at Alex as she kept eating.

Alex still couldn't stop the smile from spreading across her face, "yeah, perfect actually."

 **0-0-0-0-0**

It was a Sunday afternoon when Alex decided to take Piper for a drive to their special place, and give her the perfect gift that Alex had finally managed to find, with some help from Nicky's family contacts. Alex walked into the lounge room with a smile on her face, finding Piper and Lucy playing Scrabble while Diane was relaxing in the armchair after just finishing another shift.

"Are you actually losing Scrabble to a kid Pipes? You, a published author, losing a game of words to a ten year old?" Even through all the hard times, Alex tried to keep her sense of humour in check.

"Yeah well it's hard to win when the opposition keeps cheating!"

"Hey, you agreed it was a real word!" Lucy replied as she threw a Scrabble tile at Piper, laughing the whole time.

Alex sat on the arm of Diane's chair, letting the older woman put an arm around her waist, "well, now that you've been thoroughly beaten, it's time for you to come with me."

"And where may I ask are we going?"

"Someplace special, but we'll be back for dinner okay." Alex leaned down to kiss Diane on the cheek and said goodbye to Lucy before she pulled Piper up from the floor and led her out of the apartment.

Alex and Piper got into Diane's car and drove along while they made small talk. Piper reached over the centre console and gently touched Alex's free hand, slowly linking their fingers. Alex didn't think she'd ever get tired of that feeling, those simple gestures meant the world to her. Alex eventually pulled up to the park where she brought Piper so long ago. Piper smiled as soon as she realised where they were, "Alex, I love it here, thanks for bringing me again."

Alex leaned over and kissed Piper slowly on the lips, "I can't help but think of this as our place now." The two young women smiled at each other and walked hand in hand until Alex reached the spot she liked most of all, surrounded by old trees. She patted her satchel about 50 times to make sure she hadn't forgotten the gift, she couldn't wait to give it to Piper. Alex laid down a blanket for them and pulled Piper into her lap as they got comfortable. Alex had no idea how long they laid there in silence, it didn't matter, even without any words it felt perfect.

Eventually, Alex started talking, "I know I say this a lot, but I really do love you Pipes, and I'm so fucking proud of you. What you've done with your book, it's amazing. Even with all the shit that's happened, you still managed to write a book, and look after me at the same time."

Piper pushed herself up from Alex's lap and sat next to her girlfriend, placing a hand on her leg as she smiled at her. Alex placed her hand on top of Piper's and kept talking, "I wanted to do something special for you, to show you how proud I am and how much you mean to me. But I didn't want it to be some run of the mill gesture, you're too special for that. So I thought maybe this would help show you how much you mean to me." Alex reached into her satchel and pulled out a small package that was wrapped in brown paper and string.

Piper smiled and looked slightly confused, "what is this?"

Alex handed her the package, "open it." Alex watched intently as Piper slowly unwound the string and pulled off the brown paper. When she had removed the last of the brown paper she looked down at the gift with disbelief, she didn't know what to say. She slowly ran her fingers over it, as though she needed to make sure it was real. She felt tears stinging the back of her eyes as she looked up at her girlfriend, "how….this is amazing Al. How did you know?"

For the second time that day, Alex couldn't stop smiling. She looked down at the gift, which was an early edition of Piper's favourite collection of short stories, The Garden Party and Other Stories. "You read that book at least once a month Pipes, it was kinda hard not to notice."

"How did you find this?" Piper was still completely astonished that Alex had managed to get her a gift like that.

"Let's just say I pulled in a favour from Nicky's park slope roots, those old ladies really know their stuff." Alex loved watching Piper's reaction, it was the one time she had seen Piper completely lost for words.

"Alex, this is the most thoughtful and beautiful gift anyone has ever given me, I don't even know what to say."

"Just tell me you love me."

Piper leaned close to Alex and kissed her, slowly at first, and then she let all the feelings in her chest take over as she tangled her hands in Alex's hair as they kept kissing, "I love you."

"I wanted to get you something special, something you could keep forever, something you'd never forget. This time it's a book, maybe next time it can be something even better. Maybe a place of our own, a ring, a holiday around the world." Alex didn't break eye contact with Piper even for a second, all she wanted was to get lost in those blue eyes.

"It's perfect. Anything that comes from you, it will always be perfect."

 **A/N**

 **And that's where I'm going to end this one folks. Thanks again for reading, massive thanks for all the follows, favs and reviews. Like I said at the start, this was the first thing I've written in a while, so it's nice to know people enjoyed it. Keep an eye out for something new from me in the not too distant future.**

 **Cheers.**


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